


Running

by JayceCarter



Series: Soulmates in the Wasteland [1]
Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Anxiety Attacks, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Eventual Smut, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Not Canon Compliant, Past Domestic Violence, Recovery, Slow Burn, Smut, Spoilers, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-10-30 21:58:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 49
Words: 68,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10885746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayceCarter/pseuds/JayceCarter
Summary: When the world ended, Nora found herself finally freed from beneath the thumb her abusive mate. Unfortunately, the wasteland has other plans for her, and a connection to her new mate makes her terrified of history repeating itself.Porter Gage never thought he'd get a mate, doesn't live the sort of life that has room for one, but when he feels that connection, he realizes how much he wanted it. Unfortunately, his mate has some deep scars, and he doesn't think someone like him can help her get over them.Can Nora let go of her old fears to see the good thing right in front of her, or will her past end up burying her? Can Gage get her to see him as anything but a raider, or will he lose his mate before he ever really has her?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've gotten sucked into Soulmate AU's the last few weeks and I couldn't help but try my hand at one!

 

Nora’s knees hit the ground, her body collapsing against the metal of the floor. Her lungs burned as they struggled to draw air in. She coughed, bits of ice spraying across the floor. The coughing gave way to heaving, but nothing came up, only broken gasping. Her teeth chattered, her body refusing to warm.

 

Shaun was gone. It was the only thing that repeated in her head, over and over again.

 

Someone had taken her baby away. They’d stolen Shaun from her, right out of Nate’s arms, and she had to find him, somehow.

 

She shoved her uncooperative body to her feet, but her legs wouldn’t hold her. She fell against the cryostatis tube Nate was in. Crystals had formed over his body like some abstract art piece, otherwise untouched by rot or time, but she didn’t need to see it to know he was dead. She’d watched him die, watched someone shoot him before they stole their baby. He’d held Shaun, refused to hand him over, but then she supposed everyone did something good in their life. Even a monster like Nate.

 

She couldn’t feel him, though. That was the absolute proof he was gone. Their link had broken. When she reached out along those lines she found. . . nothing. Silence, darkness, emptiness.

 

 A mate link allowed her to sense him normally, to feel his emotions, to know where he was. It meant Nate was always close by, always looming in her mind, always connected to her. She hadn’t had a moment to herself since their link had started, when she’d been eighteen and a romantic fool just happy to have a mate. They couldn’t hear specific thoughts, couldn’t talk back and forth, only given a general sense of emotions and location, but it was enough to know it was gone.

 

She was alone.

 

More than that, she was free.

 

He was gone, dead and gone, and she was finally free.

 

Nora laughed for a moment, something happy that transformed into hysterics. She had no idea what the world was like, where her son was, but she was. . . free. For the first time in so long, she had no idea how to react. No fear, no worry, no one but herself in her head. She wasn’t waiting for Nate to show up, wasn’t forced to control her reactions so he couldn’t tell, didn’t have to worry about what he’d do when he did show up.

 

Nothing but her.

 

Then the pain came, a searing jolt through her temples that drove her back to her knees.

 

No.

 

It couldn’t be.

 

She gasped, squeezing her eyes closed as she slammed her fist against the ground. She knew this pain, the shock of agony through her temples, that felt like an electrified wire strung from one side of her head to the other. She’d felt it before. It was the sort of pain she’d never forget, one that heralded the worst time of her life.

 

No. It wasn’t fair. She’d been free, finally. She’d been able to breathe for a few moments alone, without terror.

 

She’d lost years of her life to her first mate, spent so long in pain and fear. It had almost destroyed her, almost torn her apart until nothing was left.

 

The snap as her new mate connected, as she felt surprise and confusion from his side, had her sobbing. It slid against her, that familiar and terrifying draw, a connection to another person, to a stranger she could never escape now. Someone's future entangled with her own. She slammed her fist against the ground again and screamed until her throat went raw and her she couldn't breathe.

 

She couldn’t survive another mate.

 

#

 

Porter Gage grabbed the side of a wall as pain lanced his temples, trying to keep himself upright. His hand burned against the hot steel of the wall, but he couldn’t feel it. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered but the meaning of that pain.

 

His mate.

 

There was no other explanation as another mind touched his, a gentle brush as it found space in his head, like it had always been there. He’d waited his whole fucking life for a mate, believed he was one of those who just wasn’t gonna get one. Lots of people didn’t, because in their world, people died so fast, you never fucking knew. Or maybe the world was just so fucked up that the powers in charge liked to torture people by showing them something they weren’t ever gonna get. Many people never found their mates, never felt that connection.

 

It was one reason so few people had kids. No mates, no kids. Only mates could have little fucking brats.

 

Not that he wanted a mate; his life didn’t exactly lend itself to taking care of a female. Mates were for people who could keep them safe, and life as a raider wasn’t a safe one. Still, here it was.

 

Pain washed over him. Not his, but that of his mate. It slithered through the link they shared and infected him. It shook through him, his hand drawing into a fist as he breathed through it, as he tried to control it.

 

Panic and terror. Was she hurt? Was she in danger? What had happened to her? He couldn’t lose her before he’d even fucking found her.

 

He wished the link would give him some useful fucking information. He wanted to know what was wrong, how he could help. None of that information was there. All he had was the wash of her emotions and a direction. She was to the east and she was far away, and that didn’t do shit to fix whatever was wrong with her.

 

It would take days, maybe weeks, to reach her, and all he had was that she was frightened. No idea of what, if she was injured, nothing. He tried to ignore the possibility that he’d reach her only to find out she’d died. Fucking wonderful.

 

Gage took one deep breath and tried to offer calm to her. The link worked both ways, and if she could pass panic to him, he could ease her. He could give her a measure of his control, of his calm. After spending his life in combat, he found calm with ease. He couldn’t save her right then, but he could offer some peace, and that new instinct in him, the one that screamed to take care of her, it wanted him to do what he could. He closed his eyes, calmed himself, and tried to send that to her, to offer her some of his strength. Whatever was wrong, she just needed to hang on. He’d find her, and he’d fucking help her.

 

In response, a new wave of horror struck him, like him reaching out was worse than whatever was happening to her. She yanked away, trying to thin their link, to created distance.

 

Not the best start to a relationship, he supposed.

 

Gage stopped trying to influence her, since it wasn’t helping. No need to make things worse by continuing to try it. They’d sort out this shit in person. He went to pack his things.

 

He had a mate to find.


	2. Chapter 2

_Three Months Later_

 

Nora crossed the roof of Trinity Tower, back and forth, the sun casting shadows across it the seemed to reach for her, trying to drag her under. She hadn’t planned to go up there, since she’d already cleared the place of its super mutant infestation a few weeks before, but when options were limited, you did what you had to. When you needed to run, you ran wherever you had the best chance.

 

Her mate was here, just down stairs. So close. . . All she had to do was stay still.

 

He’d chased her since that first day, this ever-approaching danger that made her flee. Every day she woke up, he was closer. Nothing slowed him, nothing stopped him. She’d run through the Commonwealth, trying to keep some distance, but he was always faster, always closing in. She’d have taken off, headed west, run as far as she could manage, but she had to stay. She had to find Shaun. Even the threat of a mate couldn’t drive her away from the Commonwealth.

 

She got nothing from her mate, didn’t understand him, didn’t want to. She did her best to block any connection with him. Sometimes something would float through their link, mostly subtle curiosity, but she’d shut it down the moment it touched her.

 

And now he was just downstairs. If she just stood still, he’d find her. Her running would be over.

 

She’d be. . . caught. It made her chest hurt, the idea of being trapped again, powerless.

 

These three months had taught her she could do things on her own, and the idea of getting back beneath a mate’s thumb had her pacing faster.

 

Nightmares had plagued her on those nights when she could sleep. She’d dream first of Nate, of the horrors she suffered at his hands. Then Nate would disappear and this faceless man would take his place, her new mate. She’d wake up, shaking, crying, trying to draw air into lungs frozen from fear. That link, the one so many people feel as a safety net, was nothing but a noose to her.

 

Dogmeat followed at her heels, snarling toward the elevator, toward the light that lit as it lifted, counting down the floors he was away.

 

Her power armor made her feel trapped, buried alive again, but it would buy her a little distance. Every time the power armor closed around her, when it hissed and enveloped her, she felt like she was back in those cryotubes. A bad plan was better than no plan, though.

 

She paced the length of the roof, working at steadying her breath. She needed to be calm, collected, ready to face the man who she was about to see for the first time. No running if she passed out.

 

He’d tried to help her a few times, when her panic at this new world had overtaken her, when the nights had been too quiet, the days too different. He’d reached across their link and tried to soothe her, a gentle touch meant to reassure her, to calm her. A sweet action, but it choked her. Reminded her of when Nate had done it, to soothe her when she wanted to rage, when she'd wanted to scream at him. 

 

And she’d done her best to thin the link, to pull away. She couldn’t do this again.

 

The elevator door opened, and she backed away. She couldn’t kill him; one of the joys about having a mate. You could beat the hell out of them, but something inside of you wouldn’t let you kill them. Some instinct that demanded you reproduce, it wouldn’t allow serious harm.

 

She caught sight of him and gasped. She’d been right to fear him.

 

He was huge, wide shoulders covered in muscle that came from killing, from work. Men didn’t get that size out here by being gym rats. His eye had a patch covering it, hair in a short mohawk, heavy yellow metal armor hanging over him. That armor had to weigh fifty pounds, but he walked like it weighed nothing. The amount of strength in that body had her panic increasing.

 

How could this be her mate? She’d thought, for a moment a few times, maybe she’d find her mate to be someone soft, someone sweet. Hell, she’d be a liar if she didn’t admit to fantasizing about finding a mate who was smaller, nonthreatening, someone who could maybe even help her heal.

 

But this man? This man was none of those things.

 

If she thought Nate could do damage, it was nothing compared to this man. She backed away.

 

#

 

Gage cursed as he came face to face with a set of power armor. He’d wanted to look at her, to finally catch sight of his mate. He’d thought about her plenty, and he wanted a fucking face to match the idea. Did she have light hair? Dark? Long? Short? Was she tall and covered in muscle or small and wiry? He didn’t care one way or another, since the link would make him want her no matter what, but he wanted to know.

 

Some part of him still had believed that he’d show up and she’d stop running. That whatever went on in her head would stop when she saw him, like she’d realize running was foolish. Mates were a fucking rare gift, and running from one was stupid.

 

The panic in her head told him that wasn’t true. Laying eyes on him had made it all the worse. Then again, he knew that he didn’t look all that reassuring. He looked every bit the raider he was. If anything, she paced like a cornered dog, snarling to keep him back.

 

A bit like the actual dog at her feet. It crouched, hair on end, teeth on display. Not a normal mutt, but a nice looking dog, one who looked ready to tear him apart for her.

 

He slid his rifle over his shoulder and lifted his hands. What was he supposed to say? How did you introduce yourself to your mate, especially one who didn’t want you?

 

Fuck if he knew.

 

Not that it mattered, between the wind and the distance she kept between them, she couldn’t hear any shitty words he decided to say anyway.

 

Gage had always been the sort of use his fists a hell of a lot more than his words. He’d scrapped his way through life, and while he was good at manipulating others, he did it by offering ‘em what they wanted, not by talking. Talking was for people afraid of action, and he wasn’t scared of action.

 

He reached one hand out, palm up, trying to beckon her over. He crooked his fingers, begging her to come closer. He wanted to touch her, to slid his fingers against her skin, to seal their link.

 

Whatever the fuck picked mates might have made them mates, but they needed to touch to seal it, to snap it into place. That instinct pulled at him, made him desperate to touch her, to wrap himself around her, to lose himself in her.

 

He’d fantasized about her every night, trying to push the thoughts away before they had time to really get going. If she was already freaked out, feeling that sort of lust from his end wasn’t about to make her any more comfortable with him. Still, instinct was a powerful thing, and there was nothing a male wanted more than to touch his mate, to have her.

 

Not that she seemed all that willing. Didn’t she feel it? She had to, since she’d run.

 

Her gaze jerked to the side, over the edge.

 

Gage shook his head no, trying to bridge the distance, to make her stay. He knew that sort of look, all that coiled anxiety that ran through her body. Only two things a person did when they felt that way: fight or run.

 

She didn’t seem ready to fight him.

 

She took another step backward before she turned and bolted for the side of the building. The metal groaned as the heavy feet slammed against the floor. She leapt over the side and disappeared. 

 

He cursed. The power armor would protect her from any fall damage, but fuck, that wasn’t the best first meeting he’d ever heard of.

 

His mate had just leapt off a thirty-story building just to escape him.


	3. Chapter 3

 

Nora dug her fingers into the extra skin and fur around Dogmeat’s neck as they walked into the Combat Zone. This wasn’t exactly the sort of place she frequented, but it was close and she knew it had plenty of alcohol. That was all she really cared about.

 

Hell, a part of her, a really fucking big part of her, wanted to go somewhere dangerous, somewhere that she wouldn’t make it out of. She was too much a coward to take her own life, but take enough stupid risks and someone would take care of it for you. The idea tempted her.

 

After seeing her mate on that roof, she’d finally accepted shit. She couldn’t run. There was no chance of escaping a man like that, not if he wanted to find her, and he seemed damned set on catching her.

 

So her only option? Alcohol, and a lot of it. If she got herself drunk enough, maybe she’d black out. Maybe it would let her be so unaware she could pretend she was anywhere else.

 

Her first night as Nate’s mate still haunted her. The way he’d crawled on top of her, his tongue pushing into her mouth, his hands pulling. She hadn’t been ready, not by a long shot, but he hadn’t cared. They were mates, he said, it was his right, what was owed to him.

 

The pain, that stuck with her. She’d heard about sex for so many years before then, waiting because in her head, she just knew she’d find her mate. So she’d held all those stupid ideas about what her first time would be, but none of them included the way he’d taken her, rough and hard and uncaring.

 

What would this new mate do? More of the same? She'd lived through it before, she could again.

 

But get drunk enough and she wouldn't be forced to be sober through it. 

 

Dogmeat snarled at someone who looked at her too closely, but she bumped the dog’s side as they walked. The dog had turned into her closest friend, her constant companion. She’d met a few others who’d offered to come with her, and they did from time to time, as a necessary evil, but Dogmeat? He was family. He'd found her within an hour after her leap of the building. He always found her. 

 

Nora bought two bottles of whiskey and took the stairs to the upper level. A few men leered, a few whistled, but she supposed bravado won out. The sort of woman who would come to a place like this wasn’t the sort they wanted to tangle with, so they left her alone.

 

But she knew one man was coming who wouldn’t leave her alone, and that idea had her putting the whiskey bottle to her lips.

 

#

 

Gage walked into the Combat Zone. His skin crawled at the idea that his mate was here, unprotected, in this filthy, dangerous bar. Raiders pushed around, drunk and loud and violent.

 

Then again, he was a raider. Didn’t seem fair to judge them too harshly. But logic didn’t sway his frustration.

 

She’d dove off the top of Trinity tower only a few hours before, his stomach crawling into his lungs as she fell. The power armor had kept her safe, probably the reason she’d worn it.  His mate was resourceful, at least when it came to trying to escape him. He’d stared over the edge of the building, catching sight only of a blur of metal as she’d run.

 

Even if he hated that she ran, he had to have respect for someone who could outsmart him like that. Few people would have been able to avoid him for three fucking months.

 

Three months where his skin crawled, where he’d feel her suffer, her panic, her pain. All of it beat at him, especially at night. During the days she must have kept busy, because that fear rarely struck her. When the sun set, though, she gave into it. Sometimes it hit him so strong, all of a sudden. Nightmares, he had to figure. Her side of the link would be quiet, then explode into panic. He could almost feel her heart thundering, her body shooting up to sitting, gasping.

 

What did she dream about? Those times, when her pain was too great to ignore, he’d reach out, but she always yanked away. She’d been fleeing since the link formed.

 

Finally, he’d caught her.

 

He took the stairs two at a time, an easy hop with his long legs, to a small seating area that overlooked the arena. His mate sat there, out of her power armor, her back to him.

 

She sat in a chair, arms draped over the railing, a bottle of something in her hand. Her gaze locked on the arena below, taking no note of him, like she didn’t know or care he stood behind her. Long, dark hair spilled down her back, the ends curling near the bottom, unbound. Fuck, he wanted to run his fingers through that hair. She wore a vault suit, blue and hugging her body, allowing him to see all the places he wanted to touch.

 

His mate was a vault dweller? The questions hit him, and he wanted to know it all. Where did she come from? What had her life been like? Why the fuck did she keep running away?

 

That dog laid by her feet, snarling at him but not doing anything else. Seemed the mutt was more bark than bite.

 

He took a seat beside her. “Hey there.”

 

She tipped the bottle back, gulping down what had to be four good, deep swallows, but she didn’t turn toward him, didn’t acknowledge him. Her face didn’t twist at the taste, but whether that was because she was that good a drinker, or just that drunk, he had no idea. She wavered in the seat making him sure that wasn’t her first bottle of alcohol for the night.

 

At least the shitty whiskey had numbed away her panic, leaving in its place only a quiet sorrow. Sadness he could deal with. Sadness could be fixed. Fear? That grated at his nerves, made him want to find an enemy.

 

“Getting drunk?”

 

“Not getting drunk, nope. Already plastered.” She tossed the empty bottle toward the area stage. It shattered against the floor. A few raiders looked up at her, caught sight of him, and backed down. She shouldn’t be in this fucking place. The woman stuck out like a pack member in the middle of Diamond City, the thing that didn’t fit.

 

He smiled at her voice. Rough, sharp. Her snark pleased him. He didn’t think he could handle a wilting hubflower as a mate, someone soft. That sort of person would be crushed beneath his life, beneath his personality.

 

“Need some company?”

 

“Not from you.” She stood and tripped over her own damned feet, catching herself against the far wall.

 

Gage reached out to grab her arm. He wasn’t going to lose his mate because she fell through a fucking window at the Combat Zone, with him a foot away.

 

She stumbled backward, out of his reach, like nothing was more dangerous than him. “Don’t touch me!”

 

And there came that panic again, rushing back, covering him. At least he’d gotten better at blocking out her emotions. She still didn’t let him help her, but at least it didn’t cripple him. He needed his head on straight, not being fucked by emotions that weren’t even his.

 

“I ain’t gonna hurt you, sweetheart.” He lifted his hands again, palms out, wanting her to relax. His voice had gone low, soft. Yeah, he knew he didn’t have a voice that sounded sweet, but he could fucking try to gentle it.

 

“I don’t want to do this.” She wavered on her feet, circling like a top before it fell.

 

“We ain’t doing anything. Just talking.”

 

Her eyes locked on some spot in the distance, like she wasn’t there with him anymore, she was somewhere else in her head. A shudder ran through her before she repeated herself, just a mumble of words and fear.

 

He’d imagined finding his mate when he was younger, when he still had some optimism, before his life had fucked that right out of him. He thought she’d run to him, wrap her arms around him, cling to him. He’d wanted to bring her back to his place, to tuck her into his bed, to never let her go.

 

Never in his mind had he thought she’d run from him. That just didn’t happen.

 

She wavered again, and he knew that look. The room was spinning for her. A girl who couldn’t weigh more than a hundred and ten, if that, couldn’t down bottles of whiskey and stay vertical. Her hand shot out, grasping for something to keep her upright, sliding off the edge of the wall.

 

And down she went.

 

Gage leapt forward to grab her, to keep her head from hitting the table. Didn’t need a concussion to add to the clusterfuck of a night. The dog came close, still growling but seeming willing to let Gage touch her. Still, he'd keep an eye on the mutt. Last thing he needed was a chunk to get bit from his ass because the dog got antsy. 

 

His fingers brushed her hand as he held her, and the link sealed. It was like a piece he hadn’t realized was askew sliding into place. He touched her face, turning it, trying to sear the details into his mind. Each little freckle, each imperfection, each scar, they all mattered. He memorized each one on her face.

 

She was so small, so fragile against him. Even unconscious, her eyebrows had drawn together, lips tilted down. He wanted to wipe that look off her face, to make her smile. Fuck, he wanted to do something, anything, to please her.

 

She was his. The only thing in the whole god damned world that was his, something given to him, something precious. He pulled her against his chest as he lifted her.

 

He’d fix whatever was wrong with them, even if he had no fucking clue how to do it.


	4. Chapter 4

 

Nora woke, her head pounding and her heart racing. She rolled over, stomach churning. She hadn’t drank like that ever, and starting with that dog piss they called whiskey wasn’t one of her smarter choices. At least, for the moment, she couldn’t think beyond the demands of her pissed off body.

 

A fire snapped to her left, warming her side. When had she started a fire? Where the hell was she? The answers all seemed out of reach, and unimportant compared to how she felt.

 

Her fingers dug into the dirt as her head spun. Her stomach threatened to evac everything in it, and when it seemed pretty clear her stomach wasn’t going to wait, she stumbled a few feet to the side and threw up. The whiskey had burned going down, but that was nothing compared to how it felt coming back up. Some went into her nose, searing her sinuses. She gasped after nothing else would come up, trying to relax, to breathe, to ignore the sweat on her brow.

 

A can of purified water was set beside her.

 

Then it all came back to her. Her mate was here. He’d followed her to the bar.

 

He’d found her.

 

She rolled away, only luck keeping her from falling right into her own vomit. Her ass hit the dirt and she scrambled away from her mate, who had crouched beside her, balancing on the balls of his feet, watching her, but not coming any closer.

 

He looked like an animal ready to pounce on prey.

 

He was even bigger up close. When she’d worn her power armor he’d seemed big, but without that? He towered over her, his arms easily larger than her thighs, his shoulders wide, nothing but muscle and danger. Fuck. . .

 

Would he grab her now? Pull her beneath him? She wasn’t drunk anymore; couldn’t he have done this when she wouldn’t remember it? That was the whole reason she’d drank so much, so this could all be a blurred nightmare she wouldn’t remember. It had soothed away her panic, but now is returned in full force.

 

“You’re the size of a radroach, sweetheart. Can’t drink like a deathclaw.” His voice was deep, rough, casual. It wasn’t at all like Nate. Nate had been high class, an officer born and bred. He’d been cultured, voice careful, controlled, precise. He’d spoke all those pretty lies past those perfect lips. Even when he’d threatened her, it had been soft and sweet and perfect. Nothing like her. . . mate’s voice.

 

Even the term felt wrong. Weird. Dangerous. It made her want to bolt, to run away from it, from the truth, from this man.

 

He waited a moment, like he expected her to say something, to hold up a conversation. Forget that, she didn’t want to engage in anything with him.

 

“You gonna tell me your name?”

 

She shook her head.

 

“Why not? What can I do with a name? My name’s Porter Gage, though most people just call me Gage.”

 

She didn’t care. She didn’t want to know his name, didn’t want to know anything about him. The more she knew, the more real this all got. It couldn’t be real.

 

Her skin crawled, and her fingers itched to reach out, to touch him. Her hand started to lift before she could stop it. Her eyes locked on that hand before she scooted back again. She knew that feeling, that need, the way its claws had started to dig into her. “You touched me?” Her voice cracked at the realization, the words a broken accusation.

 

Trapped. Just like before.

 

“Yeah, I did. You passed out in the middle of a raider bar, was I supposed to just leave your pretty ass there?”

 

“Yes. It would have been safer.”

 

“You think it would be safer to be defenseless around a bunch of drunk men instead of with me?” His voice dipped low, rumbling through his chest. She sensed his anger at that idea, and it caused her to scoot back another foot. Anger was dangerous. People lashed out when angry. “We have a different fucking definition of safe, mate.”

 

“Don’t call me that.”

 

“Why not? Like it or not, it’s what we are. You can feel it, can’t you? That need, that draw? Fuck, I feel it. Never felt anything like it before.” A shudder ran through his body, his shoulders trembling like he couldn’t hide it.

 

She had felt it before, knew it would grow. It clawed inside her already, needy and desperate and hungry. It would only get worse until it robbed her of her own free will. Nate would use it against her, punish her by locking her away until she sobbed and begged for his touch. He liked that, liked to humiliate her with it. When she got difficult, when she wouldn’t do what he wanted, he’d use that need to get an upper hand.

 

Even so, she couldn’t reach out. Wouldn’t. She was more than instinctual urges, she had to be. Sure, she knew what it felt like to deny that urge, but she couldn’t give in. “I can’t do this,” she whispered.

 

“Neither of us really has a choice in this. I didn’t do this to you, ya know. Not like I made this choice, either.”

 

That didn’t matter. None of it mattered. The only thing she could see was his body, too big and too close and way too dangerous.

 

“Just let me go,” she asked, voice dropping to beg.

 

“Go where? You can’t outrun this. Fate likes to fuck us all, sweetheart. She doesn’t ask us how we want it.”

 

The reference to sex had Nora’s panic climbing up another notch. She pulled her pistol from her hip and pointed it at him. Why hadn’t he taken it?

 

Probably because he didn’t expect his mate to pull it on him. Sometimes people liked to pretend mates were something magical, but she knew the truth. It was nothing but ugly biology. Mates meant you could have children, that was it. It was nature’s way of trying to ensure strong offspring who would have parents that could care for them. Mates didn’t have to love each other, hell, they didn’t even have to like each other.

 

You only had to look at her and Nate to know that.

 

“Put that down before you hurt yourself. You can’t kill me.”

 

“No, but I can wound you. Trust me, mates don’t have a problem hurting each other.” She backed away from him, from the fire, from this connection, from all the fear that lived inside her, that paced between her lungs like a trapped beast.

 

“Where do you think you’re gonna go? There’s no getting away from this, from me, from us. We're tied together, now. Couldn't survive without each other. You need me as much as I need you, so where are you gonna go?”

 

Her arm shook as she moved away. “Away from you.”

 

“You think you can escape?”

 

She shook her head.

 

He titled his head, like he was trying to understand her. “Then why run?”

 

“Because I can’t stay.”

 

She backed away, gun raised in her trembling grip, knowing she’d never make it far, but not caring.


	5. Chapter 5

 

His mate paced by the fire she’d set, her arms wrapped around her narrow waist like that grip alone held her together. All those shitty emotions had poured through their link into his head as she’d run. She hadn’t made it far, only a few miles away, before it seemed the shaking had gotten too bad and she’d stopped.

 

She saw him but didn’t run, just kept pacing.

 

Mates couldn’t last long without each other, especially when the bond was still new. As time passed, they’d be able to separate for longer periods of time, but at first? No. Nature wanted them to start right away, to forge a strong connection, to get started breeding.

 

She’d been a fool to run in the first place; there was no way she wouldn’t know what it would do to her.

 

Was she really just that naïve? Did she have no idea what would happen, or did she just not care? The fear beating at him said she knew but she still couldn’t stop. Like the pain was worth it just to get away.

 

He wanted to crawl inside her head and figure out what made her do what she did. What caused this sort of reaction? How could he help her with it?

 

And right now? Watching her shake and pace, he wanted to help her.

 

How the fuck did you help someone like that?

 

He took a seat on a rock by the fire, watching as she paced. He hunched his shoulders down, trying to look smaller, less intimidating. A losing proposition with him, but whatever. “My name is Porter Gage. Not sure you were listening to me the last time. You gonna tell me your name this time?”

 

“Nora,” she whispered, voice rough and laced with pain.

 

Well, a name was progress. A name was the first step to some trust.

 

He took in the tight lines of her face. “You hurting?”

 

“No.” She snapped the word but didn’t slow her pacing, couldn’t seem to control her shaking.

 

And that fucking destroyed him, the way her small shoulders quaked. She seemed too delicate for that sort of pain. She tried so hard to hide it, but even without the link, without that pain washing over him, he’d have seen it a fucking mile away. She shouldn’t have to hide it, shouldn’t have to try to act that strong, especially not with him.

 

It was his fucking job to protect her.

 

“Liar. Why lie? Why hurt? Ain’t no reason for it. Come here and the pain will stop.”

 

“Costs too much.”

 

It took him everything to stay sitting. Something in his head screamed to stop her, to touch her, to ease her. But she was wild; holding her wouldn’t help for more than a moment, and he wanted a hell of a lot more than a moment. “I ain’t charging anything.”

 

She sat in a heap beside him, her legs seeming to give out from beneath her. Even her teeth had started to chatter, words forced between them. “Mates are costly. Too dangerous. You started this by touching me in the first place.”

 

Yeah, he had, but what were the options? Leaving her to the whims of a bunch of raiders? Fuck that bullshit. “Look, I get it, you don’t know me. You don’t trust me. You don’t want this. Why don’t you just put your foot toward me, huh? I’ll touch your ankle, that’s it. That contact, it’ll do you some good. It’ll stop you from hurting.”

 

She met his gaze with her red and swollen eyes. She took a deep breath but didn’t move closer, even when he could see every part of her wanted to, needed to.

 

“Ah, sweetheart. Someone fucked you up good, didn’t they? You hurting is killing me, so come on, let me help. Do it for me if nothing else.”

 

Her leg scooted out at a crawl, like she expected a trap to snatch her, like she was just waiting for him to leap on her. That distrust hurt, but hell, he couldn’t blame her. Even if fate had said they were mates, that didn’t mean she knew shit about him.

 

Probably for the best, there wasn’t much good to know. Her finding out he was a raider, that he lived with a bunch of other raiders, that wasn’t going to ease her any, wasn’t gonna get her to trust him.

 

Gage reached toward her, setting his hand on her ankle, over her pant leg. He moved slow, kept from gripping her so she could yank away if she needed to. He dipped his fingers beneath the cloth, brushing his fingers against her skin, a tiny touch.

 

A breathy moan escaped her lips, and almost instantly she started to ease. The shaking slowed, then stopped. Her teeth stopped chattering. He hadn’t even realized how tense she’d been until it slipped away.

 

Men didn’t react to touch the way women did. Women needed it, craved it, suffered without it. Men were driven to care for their mates, to offer it, but they didn’t suffer without it. It had always seemed unfair to him, but hell, what did he know? He figured the reason, biologically, was to keep the couple close for safety and to provide for the young.

 

“Why are you so afraid of this?” He tried to keep his voice low, soft, to not startle her. He wasn’t good at talking, he was more of an action sort of man, but action wasn’t going to do shit for her, for them.

 

“I had a mate before. He died.”

 

Not a shock, lots of people had more than one mate. Losing a mate could turn a person feral, make ‘em untrusting. Hell of a pair of shoes to fill. “I’m sorry.”

 

“I’m not.” Her eyes flashed with the sort of venom that reminded him women were not to be fucked with. “I was nothing to him but something to own, to control.” Her fingers brushed her cheek, though no mark showed there.

 

He sucked in a breath through his teeth. Yeah, her old mate had been an asshole. A woman didn’t do that unless she’d been hit. He’d hit women, hell, any raider did. Their life was a rough one and women could gut ya just like a man. But, fuck, he had some morals in him, fucked ones but ones still. You didn’t hit a woman you loved, you didn’t scare ‘em. It was all sorts of wrong.

 

He wanted to fix it, but the bastard was already dead and gone. Kicking a corpse wasn’t gonna help her, even if made him feel better. He couldn’t change it, couldn’t save her from a memory. Though her behavior made a hell of a lot more sense. Deal with an asshole as a mate, well, Gage walking up wasn't gonna look too reassuring. 

 

She winced, yanking her foot away. He’d gripped her too tight, his anger soaking through him without him able to control it. He needed to work on that, but controlling his anger along with her fear and panic, it overwhelmed him.

 

“Sorry.” He leaned forward, forearms braced on his knees, not trying to touch her again. “Look, I ain’t gonna hurt you. I get it, I do. You had yourself a shitty mate, and I can understand why you ran. No reason to go hurting yourself just because you don’t like what is, though.”

 

She finally met his gaze, shoulders back. “I’m not going to fuck you.”

 

He released a soft laugh. “I ain’t asking you to, honey.”

 

“Not yet, but you will. It’s how this works. Don’t forget, I’ve done this, I know what this is like. I understand the pull, the need.” She shuddered.

 

Yeah, he’d heard about it, seen it. Mates couldn’t deny each other. Females needed, often so much they hurt. Males were drawn by that, driven to satisfy their mate. It was just a clusterfuck of instinct and hormones. “Doesn’t matter. I ain’t never going to touch you if you don’t want me to.”

 

“Well, I don’t. And I won’t. Not ever.”

 

He huffed a soft laugh as he felt her foot beside her, like it had snuck over again without her even meaning to. “Yeah, I can tell.”

 

She frowned and went to pull her leg back, red covering her cheeks.

 

Gage reached out, slipping his fingers around her ankle again. “I’m just playing with you. I ain’t gonna make you suffer, not if I can help it. You’ve been strong long enough, just rest a bit, huh? We’ll argue some more in the morning.”

 

She nodded, rolling to her side but leaving the leg out, in his grip. Her eyes slid closed, and she drifted off to sleep.

 

Gage sighed as he watched her. It was going to be a long fucking hill to climb with this one. But, well, this was progress.


	6. Chapter 6

 

Nora peered over the edge of her plate at Gage, who ate his own food. He hadn’t crowded her since they’d woken, hadn’t done anything but make food and sit to eat.

 

When her eyes had first opened to find him sleeping next to her, his fingers wrapped around her ankle, she’d panicked. She imagined Nate, the way he’d grip her, the way he’d roll over onto her. Her stomach had clenched, eyes closing, ready to just fucking endure.

 

But none of that happened. Gage had offered on gentle squeeze, like an acknowledgement of her fear, before letting her go and moving away without a word. He went about feeding them both without questioning her. 

 

It gave her time to just look at him, to consider him. His gaze remained on his food, making it safer to watch him. She couldn't think when he stared at her. It made her feel hunted. 

 

He was big. That was the part of him she couldn’t seem to get past. But, she tried to ignore that, at least for the moment.

 

He had scars on him, some small, some deep, all signs he hadn’t lived an easy life. Who was he? What did he do? Again, she was reminded how unlike Nate he was. Nate hadn’t had a scar on him, he wasn’t the sort to fight, to do anything where he might lose. He was the sort of person to only use those he knew he could control, like her. 

 

Of course, was that better? Nate had gotten what he'd wanted every damned time, but what could Gage get? He knew his way around violence, she saw that written in every scar he had. Nate was like a retriever, who could bite you and hurt you if it wanted, no matter how safe it looked. Gage was a rottweiler, able to do every bit of the damage you expected based on how they looked.

 

“Why don’t you take a couple deep breaths, honey.” Gage’s voice caught her by surprise, but worse was the way he tried to calm her through their link.

 

“Don’t do that.”

 

“Do what?”

 

“Try to keep me calm.”

 

“I don’t really mean to really. Just feel you upset and I try to help.” He still didn’t look up at her. “So, what’s the plan?”

 

“Plan?”

 

“You haven’t been moving around at random. I may not have any education, but don’t think I’m stupid. I ain’t stupid. You’ve been up to something more than just running from me. Why not clue me in and we work it together?”

 

“Why would I tell you anything?”

 

“Because we’re stuck together. Might as well let me help you. You can’t tell me you couldn’t use some muscle. This is the Commonwealth, everyone could use some muscle.”

 

Her eyes pinned to his wide shoulders and she gulped down a breath. Yeah, those muscles were exactly what she didn’t want with her. If he ever got angry, if he lashed out, she’d have no chance.

 

“Ain’t gonna hurt you.” This time he did raise his gaze to hers, setting down his plate beside him. “Last thing on my mind is hurting you.”

 

“Yeah. I know.”

 

“You gotta learn to lie better, you know that? Amazing you’ve lived this long while being this shitty at it. Where you from?”

 

She swallowed another bite of food, tearing her gaze from him. “A long ways away.”

 

“Figured as much, what with the way you talk. You don’t strike me as a local.”

 

She laughed at that. She was, in a way, local. Hell, she was an original. But still, this world wasn’t the one she’d know, didn’t operate the way she understood. She’d been getting there, though. Building up alliances, learning how to survive.

 

Gage was an alliance, right? He was an asset, maybe. She had to keep going, had to find Shaun, and right then Gage seemed the best help she had. It wasn’t like she could get away from him anyway. It left her with two choices. Let Gage help, or forget about finding Shaun.

 

She couldn't forget about her son.

 

Dogmeat bumped her side, still anxious about the new man. She didn’t want the dog to get caught up in this mess, so she kissed his head and ordered him to head home.

 

It left her and her mate alone.

 

#

 

Gage tried to sort out her emotions, even as nothing played across her face. That was, perhaps, the worst part of this link. He could sense what she was feeling but had no idea why, no clue what caused it. It felt like getting half the story, and half the story was fucking useless.

 

Fear, worry, anxiety, but just a bit of hope? Most of it he understood now. It’d take a fucking long time for her to realize he wasn’t about to haul off and hit her, a while to build up that trust. Earning it would be like pulling teeth, but whatever. He’d done harder things in his life.

 

That hope though? He clung to that. That had some promise.

 

She’d slept soundly, which he hadn’t expected. Maybe it was exhaustion alone that caused it. Run for three months and when you don’t have to run anymore, well, you’re gonna crash. And she fucking crashed, falling asleep within a few minutes, not even waking when he’d wrapped a jacket around her to keep the chill of the night away. He’d resting against the rock, catching a few hours with his hand firmly on her ankle.

 

Come morning, it had seemed to help. She’d rose without that shaking, without that edge.

 

It hadn’t been easy to not move when she’d started that fucking panicking, when she’d closed her eyes and given in, like she expected him to, what? Roll on top of her and shove his dick into her?

 

Yeah, he knew that was exactly what she’d expected, and hell, expected enough that she’d just gone still. Maybe he should have said something, but he knew his voice had gone harsh, and nothing he could have said was gonna reassure a terrified woman, so he’d just offered her a gentle touch then retreated to collect himself.

 

“You know I could help. You can’t be away from me anyway, so why not make some use of me?”

 

“There have to be rules.”

 

“Rules? Gotta tell you, I ain’t good at following rules.”

 

“I could just run again.”

 

“Yeah, because that worked out real well for you the last time.”

 

She flinched, like reminded of the pain she’d suffered, all for nothing. She’d ended up in the same place she probably knew the whole time she’d end up in.

 

He gave in. “What are these rules?”

 

She took a deep breath, folding her legs in front of her. “No touching.”

 

“We’ve already been through that; you need it.”

 

“Fine, no touching without my permission. I told you, I’m not going to fuck you, I can’t do that, not again.” Her voice broke on again.

 

The wave of nausea from her had him taking a deep breath. He had to clench his hands to keep still. “Yeah. Deal. What else?”

 

“You can’t tell me what to do. You don’t own me. I’m my own person.”

 

“Fair enough, as long as you listen to my advice. It’s pretty fucking obvious that you’re green out here, and I don’t want you dying because you want to do things your own way. Anything else?”

 

“Can I reiterate the no whole touching thing?”

 

Gage let out a soft laugh. “I got that. And, even though you didn’t say it, I heard you loud and clear. I ain’t gonna hit you, okay? You can piss me off, and I’m sure you will, but I wouldn’t hit ya. And I ain’t gonna jump on you either. Not about to fuck you if you don’t want me to, I’m not that sorta man. I know you ain't got a reason to believe me about that right now, but figured I ought to say it. Now, I’ve got some rules of my own.”

 

She scooted away. “What are they?”

 

“None of this running or lying bullshit. You have a problem, tell me and we work it out. Can’t fix anything if you just lie to me or run away.”

 

“But-“ she snapped her mouth shut, like she wasn’t sure what she was going to say anyway. After another moment, she nodded. “Okay.”

 

“And none of this hurting just because, either. You being in pain is distracting to us both, and I don’t need us getting killed just cuz you’re stubborn. You need contact, you need something, you tell me.”

 

This time she shifted on the rock, slow, like she wanted to argue but couldn’t come up with a good way to do it.

 

Gage sighed and tried to gentle his tone. “Look, Nora, I don’t want you in pain, and if I can make it so you aren’t, why not just give in, huh? Not like it’s a problem for me, not like I mind.”

 

Everything in her head was jumbled, a mess of emotions, and sorting through them gave him a headache. This whole idea of needing it, it was almost worse than her fear of him. It was like she had a block there, that she couldn’t imagine just asking him, couldn’t imagine admitting to him that she needed him.

 

Which seemed fucking stupid since it wasn’t a secret what mates required of each other. Wasn’t like people grew up not knowing this shit. Wasn’t like he wasn’t driven to give her whatever she needed.

 

“It’s just that. . .”

 

For a second, Gage thought they’d made some progress. Maybe she’d actually say something, let him in a little. Maybe he’d get some piece of information that made her make more sense, that told him how to help her.

 

Instead, she shook her head, thinning the link between them and standing. Hell of an obvious conversation over sign. “Deal,” she said, voice soft.

 

He didn’t push. If mates had anything, it was fucking time. They’d figure it out. “So, where we headed?”

 

“Fort Hagen. I have a mercenary to kill.”

 

And, fuck. . . Gage liked that side of his new mate. 


	7. Chapter 7

Gage had to admit, Nora wasn’t as useless as he’d expected. Between her panicking and how damned small she was, he expected to have to carry all the work when they reached Fort Hagen.

 

He’d would have been wrong, though. She handled her rifle like a pro, dropping to a kneel to line up shots, taking out targets with a skill that was fucking impressive. Hell, the way she dropped the synths in the building turned him on.

 

Good thing she was too distracted, because he had a feeling him sporting a hard-on wouldn’t make her all too comfortable. But, fuck, the way she moved around in that tight vault suit, ducking behind cover, he had to adjust his pants just to find some comfort.

 

And the link? Well, the damn thing made him itchy for her. Each time she moved, those hips of hers catching his sight, he wanted to grip ‘em. He wanted to pull her back against him.

 

Instead, he lifted his own rifle and unloaded bullet after bullet into their enemies.

 

After the floor was cleared, and they went about checking bodies, Gage spoke. “So, you gonna tell me what we’re here for?”

 

“I told you, to kill Kellogg.”

 

“Kellogg isn’t the sort of person you want to fuck with, honey. And for me to say that? That means shit. He’s bad news of the worst kind.”

 

“Well, he fucked with me first.”

 

Gage strapped one of the plasma rifles to his back. “He not call you in the morning or something?”

 

“All you need to know is that he stole something from me, something important. I’m going to ask him where it went, and then I’m going to blow his brains out.”

 

They met gazes for a moment, and fuck, he liked that viciousness in her, he liked that bloodthirsty streak, the one that didn’t have her cowering. He realized, that was her, the real her. It wasn’t the woman who hyperventilated at the sight of him, or the one who curled in on herself and shook. It was the one who stood here, in front of him, and he wanted this woman.

 

“Don’t look at me like that.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“I don’t like it.”

 

He tilted his head. Yeah, she was scared, but there was something else there too, some interest. Could have just been part of their link, part of the biological programming that made her want him, but he couldn’t help but call her on it. “I already told you, you’re a terrible liar.” He took a step toward her.

 

She pulled a knife from her belt and held it toward him. “Don’t come another step closer.”

 

“I’m not gonna do anything to you, already told you that, it was part of the rules. Remember another rule? You don’t lie. You want to tell me you’re scared, go for it. You want to say you’re uncomfortable, say it. But don’t tell me a lie. The way I look at you might scare you shitless, but something in you likes it.”

 

Nora took a deep breath and walked toward him, hand shaking. Gage backed away until his back hit a wall, but she stood inches away, knife point pressing into his side. “I won’t have sex with you. My last mate said the same sweet things to me at first, and I, being an idiot and a romantic fool, believed him. Then, our first night as mates, he held me down and crawled on top of me and forced himself into me. By the time I cleaned him off me afterward, I realized sex wasn’t something to look forward to. Years of that, over and over, told me I was right. I promise you, I won’t ever do that again, won’t let anyone do it to me again.”

 

Gage hardly heard the individual words as they sunk in, the truth of what his mate had suffered. He again wanted to find the asshole. He could only hope he’d had a terrible death. Maybe his dick had gotten chewed off by mole rats.

 

Nora tilted her head as she stared at him like she was trying to understand him. “You’re angry?”

 

His lip curled up. “Not angry, I’m fucking furious. I’m pissed he’s dead already and that I don’t get to tear him apart myself.”

 

She kept the blade in place, and a trickle of warmth ran down his side. She must have broken skin, but he didn’t care. Not when she leaned in closer, her breath spilling over his skin. Her head only came up to his shoulder, so her lips were close to his chest. “Stay still.”

 

“Anything you say.”

 

She lifted her free hand, brushing her fingers against his chest, a touch so soft he wouldn’t have felt it if he hadn’t been watching it. She drug those fingers up, past the line of his shirt, to touch him skin to skin. She moaned at the feeling, reminding him that they hadn’t touched in hours. “You scare me,” she said, voice soft.

 

“I know.”

 

“I’m never going to want to have sex with you.”

 

“I think you’ll change your mind.”

 

“Why would I do that? I’ve done it enough to know my opinion about it.”

 

He kept still, even as her fingers danced over his skin, her eyes locked on the movement. “What he did wasn’t sex, honey. That was rape, pure and simple. May seem the same in terms of mechanics, but trust me, it ain’t. I’m gonna guess that mate was your only dip in that particular pool, huh?”

 

She nodded, leaning closer, drawing in a deep breath like she was catching his scent. “I was stupid, thought having a mate was the only important thing in my life, so I saved myself for him. You have no idea how happy I was when I felt that connection that first day.”

 

“Yeah, figured as much. You’ll change your mind when you see what sex is supposed to be like. It shouldn't hurt, sweetheart, shouldn’t scare you. It won’t, not with me.” He took a deep breath. “Let me kiss you.”

 

She shook her head, a spark of fear, but so much smaller than usual. There was a hell of a lot more interest, and he swore some lust was there. “No.”

 

“Then kiss me. I know you want to. I won’t move, not a fucking muscle. Keep your damned knife there, hell, dig it in more, I don’t care.”

 

She went up on her toes, her weight leaning against where her hand pressed on his chest. He brought his head down, just enough for her to reach him, to cross the rest of the distance. Her lips came so close he could have darted his tongue out to taste her.

 

A static-covered voice came up over the intercom. “Hmph. Never expected you to come knocking on my door. Gave you 50/50 odds of making it to Diamond City. After that? Figured the Commonwealth would chew you up like jerky.”

 

Nora yanked away, the moment broken as she caught sight of a speaker, where his voice came from. “Fuck you, Kellogg. Better enjoy your last bit of time, because I’m right at your door.” She lifted her rifle and fired a shot, destroying the speaker.

 

When she turned back toward Gage, she’d collected herself. That moment between them, the one where she’d been open to the idea of. . . something had passed. She took a step away from him, pointing the knife, bloody tip and all, back at him. “This won’t happen again.”

 

“You think if you say it enough, you’ll believe it?”

 

“If I say it enough, maybe you’ll believe it.” She slammed her fist on the elevator button and waited, back to him.

 

She could pretend anything she wanted, he knew the truth. He’d been right there with her, living in the shadow of her head. She’d wanted it, wanted to keep going, until her own head had gotten in her way. But, hell, it made him believe he could get through, that maybe there was some hope for them.

 

He got it, sure. The poor girl hadn’t ever been touched with any sort of kindness. Her only experience had been rape, had been violence. No wonder she wasn’t interested. Couldn’t really blame her. It was like getting bit by a dog for a few years; you weren’t going to want to trust dogs after that.

 

He just had to get her to realize that sex wasn’t anything like rape. Shit had as much to do with each other as swimming and drowning.

 

She slid the blade back into her belt as she stepped into the elevator and waited for him.

 

He stepped into the elevator, noting the flush on her cheeks that had nothing to do with fear for once. “Let’s go kill ourselves a mercenary, huh?”


	8. Chapter 8

 

Nora tried to keep her head in the game. The man walking behind her made it damned near impossible. His words played in her head, over and over, the promise behind them. Was it different? Would it be different with him?

 

She’d been so damn close to kissing him, to crossing that breath of distance and tasting him. The pull had her, dragging her closer, but it was worse than with Nate in a way.

 

Nate took, never let her think, never made her decide. She hadn’t had choices to make, had only been able to respond.

 

Gage had stayed perfectly still, even when she could feel his lust, feel how badly he wanted to reach out. Even with all that power inside him, he hadn’t moved. He’d done as he’d promised, and let her do as much or little as she wanted, even with a blade drawing blood.

 

For the first time, she realized, he might be dangerous in an entirely different way. Where Nate could never really get inside her head, she was terrified Gage could. Gage could unravel her with that sweet side. Was it just a manipulation? A ploy to get what he wanted a different way?

 

Maybe that was Gage’s game. Nate got off on force, but maybe with Gage, it was all about manipulation. He wanted her to want him, wanted to pull her apart from the inside like that, to twist her mind until she actually thought she wanted him.

 

Did it really matter? She wouldn’t do what he wanted no matter what. Biology could fuck itself for all she was concerned. She’d bore a child for one mate, she’d never do that again.

 

She’d already made sure of it.

 

“Distraction will kill ya, honey. Eye’s on the prize.”

 

The petnames confused her. He’d call her sweetheart or honey, like she mattered, like it was something private they shared. There was nothing between them, nothing but biology deciding to screw her again. She’d rather he used her name, or hell, use nothing at all. The sweetness of the names made her uneasy, like the forging of a bond she didn’t want.

 

“I’m not distracted.” She went to turn a corner, but the unmistakable beep of a turret caught her attention.

 

Gage grabbed her arm and yanked her back, out of the line of fire, just before the first bullet tore into the wall behind her. It would have gotten her if he hadn’t moved her.

 

Nora pulled out of his grip and stumbled backward a step. “Don’t touch me.”

 

“Then pay some fucking attention, huh?” He twisted around, leaning out far enough to take out the turret with a single well placed shot.

 

And she didn’t like that. . . nope, not one bit. Nothing about that arrogance and skill made her the least bit interested.

 

He lifted the eyebrow without the patch, like he caught that line of thought, like he caught the lie without her even uttering. He took another step toward her, slow. “What are you thinking about?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

“Always lying to me, aren’t you? You think I can’t feel it? You seeing something you got some interest in? You don’t have to do anything about it, I just want to hear you admit it. No reason not to, just us here.”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

“Really? Because, honey, I gotta say, I like that spark of interest. Best fucking thing I’ve seen in a while. Not much of it yet, but I’ll take anything. The way you leaned in earlier? Shit, I’ll do anything you want for that again. Let you fucking strip me down and tie me up if it’s what it takes.”

 

“You’re wrong. I don’t want you.”

 

“Yeah, you do, even if you don't want to want me.” He took another step until he was right in front of her. He didn’t reach out, though. He just grinned down at her, like he’d caught her.

 

Had he? Yeah, sure, she could admit there might be some parts of him that she found not entirely objectionable. Of course, they were the same parts of him that scared her. The way he differed from Nate drew her, but they were the same things that made him more dangerous.

 

The beep of something just behind him caught her attention, but he didn’t seem to notice, his gaze only on her.

 

Nora lifted her rifle and shot the synth who had turned the corner before it could fire at Gage, like it clearly intended to do.

 

Gage jerked his gaze around to the now dead synth.

 

“Distractions will kill ya, honey,” Nora spat before sliding past him.

 

His chuckle followed her.

 

#

 

The voice of Kellogg floated through the hallways and rooms as they worked through the building, taunting them. “Look. You're pissed off. I get it. I do. But whatever you hope to accomplish in here? It is not going to go your way.”

 

Sure, Gage had heard of Kellogg, damn near everyone had. The man was a mercenary, but not just that. Most mercs were dangerous, sure, but they were like a gun that changed hands depending on who held it. Kellogg? Kellogg was a dog on a fucking chain. No one hired him, not that Gage had heard, which meant he had a single boss pulling all his strings.

 

And whoever that boss was, it wasn’t someone you wanted to fuck with. Course, all these gen 2 synths they tore through gave Gage a pretty good idea of whose ant hill they were kicking at.

 

Not that it mattered to Gage. He’d follow Nora anywhere, and if anywhere was right into Kellogg’s ass, well, he’d grab a flashlight.

 

They twisted around another series of tunnels, falling into an easy rhythm. He had to admit, he and Nora worked well together.

 

“You've got guts and determination, and that's admirable. But you are in over your head in ways you can't possibly comprehend.” Kellogg’s voice had Gage glaring.

 

At least Nora didn’t seem to startle. Hell, every time the merc’s voice came over the speakers, her anger notched up another level. She’d left a string of smoking speakers in her wake.

 

They searched the bodies as they went, picking up more ammo, stimpacks, anything they could sell for a good chunk.

 

And junk. Nora picked up junk like it was the best thing she’d ever seen. She liked scrap, tucking it into her backpack, mumbling about parts and resources.

 

Her small hands closed around a teddy bear in one of the rooms off the main hallway. Water had soaked into the fur, causing mold. It stunk like a stray mutt.

 

Her thumb rubbed across its face, eyebrows drawn together. And, fuck, her sorrow hit him like a physical blow to his chest. His hand reached up, like he could patch that shit up, like there was a hole there he could do something about.

 

She wrapped the bear in a piece of cloth, then tucked it into her pack.

 

Gage wanted to ask what the fuck that was all about, but Kellogg’s voice interrupted them, again. He wanted to kill the asshole just for fucking up his time.

 

“It's not too late. Stop. Turn around and leave. You have that option. Not a lot of people can say that.”

 

Nora hesitated, then turned to face Gage. “You don’t have to come.”

 

“The fuck are you talking about?”

 

“He’s right. You do have an option. This is between Kellogg and I, and you don’t need to be drug into it. You can wait here, and I’ll settle up with him.”

 

Gage’s hands clenched into fists at the idea of letting her go in there alone. That was on the top of a long fucking list of shit that wasn’t happening. “And if he kills you? Then what?”

 

“Then you have the hope of finding a better mate, one who will want you.”

 

The absolute truth in those words drove him backward a step. She honestly thought he’d be better off if she were dead. “There’s no chance in fuck I’m letting you go in there alone. And, for the record, I like you just fine. Not looking for a new mate.”

 

She took a deep breath, but nodded. “Alright. Look, I need answers from him, so no killing him right away.”

 

“As long as we get to kill him eventually, that’s fine with me.”

 

They crossed into the final room, a bedroom from the looks of it. A lock on the door clicked open, accompanied by the familiar rasp of Kellogg’s voice. “Okay, you made it. I'm just up ahead. My synths are standing down. Let's talk.”

 

Nora checked her rifle once more, and Gage followed suit.

 

They went to enter the room, but right after Nora walked through, the door slammed shut, locking Gage outside.

 

He slammed his shoulder against the metal, but it wouldn’t budge. There was no way he was getting through that door.

 

His mate was trapped alone in a room with Kellogg, and he couldn’t get to her.


	9. Chapter 9

Nora tried to control the rage that thundered through the link with Gage. He pounded his fist against the door, like he might manage to break it down. The rage mixed with her own, however, and had her walking forward.

 

“Got to say, I never thought you’d end up here. You’re persistent, you know that?” Kellogg his his hands up, but Nora knew better. He was still dangerous. 

 

“Give me my son.”

 

“Right to it, huh? Well, he’s not here, but I think you know that. What’s the saying? So close, yet so far away.”

 

“So where is he?”

 

Kellogg took a step forward, until he stood just in front of Nora. She kept her eyes locked on his, refusing to back down, to move away.

 

“You look different, you know that? When I shot that asshole of a mate of yours, you woke up. I saw the black eye you had, his handiwork I guessed. Figured even if you ever got out, you’d just curl up in a corner somewhere like a dog that’s been kicked too many times. Thought about killing you, too, just to be sure, but hell. What was the point? Who would have guessed you still had some fight in you?”

 

“Stop stalling. Where is Shaun?”

 

“He’s out of your reach. He’s home, with the Institute.”

 

Nora shoved Kellogg, though he didn’t budge. “Give him to me!”

 

“I can’t, even if I wanted to. I tried to you tell you, this wasn’t gonna end the way you wanted it to. No one gets into the Institute. Now, we’ve stalled long enough, don’t you think? Only one way this was every going to end.”

 

“I hope you go to hell so I can find you and kill you again.”

 

Kellogg laughed before pulling his pistol and popping a stealth boy.

 

Panic floated through the link, but Nora was better at dealing with it than Gage was, she’d learned over the years with Nate to use that link. She flung herself to the side, taking cover behind a desk.

 

If she could make it to the terminal, she could open the door, letting Gage in. Another gun on her side would help, since facing off against five synths and one pissed off mercenary wasn’t her idea of good odds.

 

She yanked one of the grenades from her belt, pulling the pin, then tossing it over the dividers toward two of the synths.

 

The explosion not only destroyed both synths, but gave her a distraction to dart back toward the desk. A bullet grazed her leg, sending her sprawling onto the floor. Her rifle slid across the floor, out of reach.

 

Wonderful.

 

Nora rolled to the cover of the desk, grabbing another grenade, throwing this one toward two more. Dust and debris rained down on her after it went off, but those synths stopped shooting two.

 

It left her with one synth and Kellogg, where ever the hell he was.

 

A few feet away, the terminal on the desk she needed. Nora took a deep breath, trying to shove the pain in her leg to the back of her mind. Instead, she stole more of Gage’s fury, let it fill her, let it take the place of the pain and panic in her.

 

She stayed low, rushing for the desk. Another shot, this one striking her arm. It twisted her to the side, but it didn’t matter. She’d made it. She reached up to the keyboard, working the buttons even as blood ran down her arm, covering her fingers.

 

The door slid open.

 

And from just beside her, Kellogg’s body flickered into sight, the stealthboy running out. He had the gun up, a smile too confident on his lips.

 

“A nice show, but it’s over. Why don’t you just give in. Doesn’t have to end with you dying. I’m half tempted to keep you around, I like this fire. Not many who could make it here alive.”

 

Gunshots from the door echoed in the room as Gage dealt with the final synth, making his way back.

 

But Kellogg was hers.

 

She kicked her leg out, hitting the hand that held his pistol. It flew to the side, out of his grip.

 

Kellogg was fast, though. He was on her in moments, hands wrapping around her throat. “You’re a fool. Shaun is out of your reach, your mate is dead, you’ve got nothing.” He pulled his hands forward, then slammed them back, causing her head to strike the floor.

 

Even as her chest struggled for air, Nora kept herself in check. She shoved her hands up, between his, then pulled them apart. The action caused his elbows to bend, his grip loosening.

 

Just enough.

 

She drew in a gasp before grabbing for the blade at her waist. One jerk upward, and she’d buried it into his side.

 

Kellogg flew off her, stumbling back, hands grasping for the knife, holding it still. He reached for where his pistol had flown, but Gage stepped between them.

 

“Hands where I can see, ‘em asshole.” Gage tilted his head, to make it clear he was talking to Nora even though his eyes never strayed from Kellogg. “You get what you needed?”

 

She hadn’t gotten the word “yes” out of her mouth fully before Gage unloaded a single shot into Kellogg’s head.

 

#

 

Gage wanted to tear the asshole apart. The sight of Nora, of his mate, bleeding from two fucking wounds, the bruises at her throat from being choked, it was enough to bring out an ugly side of him, one not a lot of people lived after seeing.

 

He took one deep breath, tried to settle himself, before turning and kneeling in front of Nora, trying to put himself between her and the corpse. She didn’t need to see that.

 

Instead, he pulled a stimpack from his pocket and jammed it into her leg. He needed those wounds to start healing so he could draw some fucking air into his lungs again. She didn't pull away, didn't flinch, just stared at the corpse. 

 

“You okay?”

 

She nodded, but her eyes seemed to go through him, staring still at the body. “It was all for nothing.”

 

“Well find whatever he took, okay? We’ll figure this out, together. I promise. Nobody steals shit from my mate. Hey, look at me, honey.”

 

“There’s something there.” She nodded toward Kellogg.

 

Gage turned, to spot something metallic in the mess that had been Kellogg’s head. It caught the light, something there that shouldn’t be. He pressed his fingers into the wound to grab it.

 

Nora gagged behind him, then scurried off to upchuck in a corner.

 

His fingers dug in the dead man’s skill until he could hook ‘em around the corners of the item and pull it out. Blood splattered as he shook it once, then held it up. Some sort of tech.

 

“That’s really gross,” Nora said, having crept back up beside Gage.

 

He tried to keep the smile off his face at the closeness. She was leaning over him to get a look, only a breath away.

 

“Yeah, well, this is the best lead we’ve got for whatever it is you’re looking for. You gonna tell me what it is, yet?”

 

She shook her head.

 

“All right, then, where we headed now?”

 

“Diamond City.”

 

He groaned. The trip would take ‘em a few hours, which seemed too long. He wanted to get her undressed and check her wounds. He wanted to give her a place to relax, to heal, but fuck, that wasn’t this place. With all the gen 2’s they’d torn through, if they stayed, they might find a few new waves breathing on their asses.

 

No, they needed to safe place to lick their wounds.

 

“Alright, sweetheart, let’s head out.”


	10. Chapter 10

Nora locked the door behind her, though the one person who should be on the other side of the door. . . wasn’t. He was right beside her.

 

He grinned, like he could read her mind. “You thinking I’m on the wrong side of that lock?”

 

“Yeah, I am.” She moved away from him, dropping her pack on the floor near the corner. Her place was large, spacious, and all hers. In Sanctuary, someone always wanted something from her. Home Plate? No one bothered her.

 

“Strip.”

 

Nora jerked back, giving them more space, but he hadn’t moved, hadn’t reached for her. “Excuse me?”

 

He pointed at her thigh. “You’re still bleeding, honey. You took a bit of damage, and we need to get you cleaned off, make sure you’re not leaking anywhere.”

 

“I can do that myself.”

 

“You can stitch up the back of your own thigh? Because while the idea of you being that flexible is sexy as fuck, I’m thinking it ain’t realistic.”

 

He was right, but damn it, it sounded like a bad idea. She didn’t want his hands on her, didn’t want to be undressed in front of him. She didn’t want to show him weakness, show him her wounds, like a dog who snarled instead of letting anyone see its injured leg.

 

She frowned, looking down at the blood that still soaked into the leg of her vault suit. After the walk, all she wanted to do was lie down and not move for a few days. She ached, every part of her tired, her throat so sore even talking hurt.

 

“How about I grab us some food while you clean yourself up, huh? Just put on something easy that I can work around so you ain’t naked, and when I get back, we’ll take a look at the wounds. Nothing else, just want to fix you up.”

 

She nodded. That was a better plan. That gave her some privacy and time to sort her head out. “Yes, thank you.” Her voice came out a whisper.

 

He offered a smile that said he wasn’t mad she didn’t trust him, that said he got it and it was okay.

 

Once he’d left, Nora struggled to pull the zipper down on her vault suit. Pulling the tight fabric off was agony, jostling every injury and scratch she hadn’t even realize she had, and she did the best she could to block that from Gage. She had a feeling he’d come storming back in if he felt it, if he knew just how sore she was, how much the wounds bothered her.

 

Not that he could do much. Well, he could help her get the clothing off, but that wouldn’t make it any better.

 

Once out of the blue fabric, she used a damp cloth to wipe herself down the best she could. The cloth, some level of white before, was dingy and brownish-red by the time she finished. She tossed it into the basket she used for laundry, wishing she could jump into a shower, that she could let the heat sear the day away.

 

All that work for nothing. Kellogg hadn’t given her anything useful. They already suspected the Institute was involved, so all he’d done was confirm it. How was she ever going to find Shaun?

 

She limped up the stairs to her dresser, pulling out clean underwear and a large shirt she usually slept in. The shirt hung to her mid thighs, the arms down to nearly her elbows, the neckline bagging over one shoulder. The last thing she did was pull her hair back into a ponytail to keep it out of her way.

 

Then she caught sight of herself in the mirror beside her bed. She looked like a woman ready to crawl into bed beside her mate, and that wasn’t what she wanted.

 

Her breath sped up for a moment, her knuckles going white as she clenched her fists. He’d get the wrong idea. He’d walk in, see her mostly undressed and all those damned promises he’d made wouldn’t mean anything. They were nice ideas, but when faced with her, his want would win out. A man didn’t just not take what he wanted, good intentions meaning nothing in the heat of the moment.

 

And he wanted. Even though he tried to hide it, tried to push that to the back of his head, she’d felt it. He’d watch her, suck in a breath, then try to shove that lust away before she caught it. His size made her whimper, her knees threatening to not hold her anymore.

 

She rushed for her pack, dropping to her knees, hands useless as she shook. She dropped things as she dug through it, looking for what she needed.

 

Near the bottom, she found it. She pulled the Med-x out and injected it.

 

Almost as good as being drunk.

 

#

 

Gage gripped the counter as he waited for the items he’d bought. The barkeep yelled, a boisterous bellow that held nothing but good humor.

 

But the panic he got from Nora? That fucking killed him. Still, he stayed put. He knew she was safe, and something told him that him showing up wasn’t gonna calm her any. She had to work out that shit in her head on her own, sometimes.

 

So, he stayed put.

 

“You came into town with Nora, didn’t you?”

 

Gage cast Nick Valentine a look full of all the 'fuck off' he could manage. Yeah, he knew the synth. Everyone did. Only one synth in that stupid costume in all the Commonwealth. Figured the idiot would know Nora. “Don’t see how it’s your business.”

 

“She’s a client, and turning into a friend. I take notice when a girl that skittish strolls into town with the likes of you on her arm.”

 

“Not on her arm, buddy.” Could he make buddy sound anymore like asshole? He doubted it. “And still none of your business.”

 

“Well, let Doll know I need to talk to her.”

 

Doll? Fucking pet names from the metal asshole? That level of friendliness set him off. Mates weren’t known for sharing, an over protective and jealous group. “Yeah, I’ll let my mate know.”

 

Nick hesitated. “Mate?”

 

“That’s right.”

 

“Well, didn’t think anyone could lose so bad twice in a row. Guess that woman is just fated to have the worst luck. Let her know to stop in and see me if she needs anything.” Nick shook his head and walked away.

 

Gage tossed the caps for the food on the bar, then gathered the bowls and headed back.

 

At least Nora had gotten a hold of her panic. She seemed. . . content? Hell, maybe even asleep. He just needed to see her, to help soothe the parts of him frustrated by Nick’s comments.

 

He pushed open the door of her place to find Nora on the couch upside down, legs over the back of it, head near the floor. An empty syringe of Med-x sat beside her. She giggled, face flushed and a stupid chem-fueled grin across her lips.

 

He set the food down, then rubbed his palms against his eyes in frustration.

 

She’d drugged herself just so she could deal with him.


	11. Chapter 11

 

“Hey, you.” Nora tilted her head, like that would make Gage right side up.

 

Gage sat on the floor beside her. “Hey, you. You decide to have a chem break?” He tried to keep his voice gentle, to not let his frustration show. Couldn’t imagine that would do anything good for her.

 

“Yep. Seemed a good idea.”

 

“Why’s that?”

 

She moved off the couch to sit beside him, flashing him the length of her toned legs, a sight he had to drag his eyes away from. “I didn’t have any whiskey.”

 

“And you need whiskey or med-x to deal with me?”

 

She nodded, brushing her cheek against his shoulder, leaning into the touch. A soft moan slid from her lips and over him. “Makes it easier. I used to take them at first. Numbed me, made it all easier to tolerate. Then Nate caught on and hid the chems from me.”

 

“Nate? That the name of that mate of yours?”

 

“Nathaniel Cooper Jacobs the Second.”

 

“Sounds like a prick.”

 

She tilted her head to meet his gaze, smiling. “Oh, he was.”

 

“How’d he die?”

 

“Kellogg shot him. I watched it happen. Who’d have thought between the three of us, I’d be the one still standing.” She frowned as she looked at where she sat on the floor. “Or, something.”

 

He wanted to ask her more, but his eyes caught the wound on her thigh. “Why don’t you sit on the couch, huh? I’ll take care of checking your wounds.”

 

She sighed, like she didn’t want to move away, then pulled herself onto the couch. He twisted, staying on the floor, moving to his knees. “This okay?”

 

Her eyes didn’t seem to track him, but she nodded. “Sure. Everything’s okay right now.”

 

Gage slid the shirt up her thigh, to her hip. The white cloth of underwear had him pulling in a ragged breath. At least she’d put those on, because he didn’t need any more tempting of his control. The wound on her thigh was red, but healing. “This one grazed ya. You were lucky, would have hurt like a bitch it if had taken any more off.” He moved to checking her arm, next. His fingers touched her skin, and her not pulling away was the best fucking thing. “Don’t think I told you, but you did good in there. How’d you learn to shoot like that?”

 

“My Dad taught me. Said I needed to be a tough son of a bitch to survive.” She leaned her head back on the couch, exposing her neck, and the bruises there.

 

“Can’t imagine a dad like that would be too happy about that mate of yours.”

 

She frowned. “He died before I met Nate.”

 

Pain slid through the link, and Gage rubbed his hand over her arm. Time or a subject change. “How are you feeling?”

 

She reached out, fingers touching his face, brushing over his eye patch. “What happened?”

 

“I haven’t lived an easy life, honey. Took a blade there when someone set me up when I was sixteen and stupid. Get along just fine without it, though.”

 

“Does it hurt?” Her eyebrows drew together, like the very thought bothered her.

 

“Nah, it don’t hurt. Just doesn’t look all that pretty. Don’t worry about it.”

 

Her fingers moved from the patch, down over his checks, then to his lips. Her touch lacked the hesitation she normally wore. This was exploration, the ability to give into that desire she’d had without thinking too much about it.

 

Not that he’d let her explore it far, since she was high and taking advantage of her wasn’t something he was about to do. He was trying to build some trust.

 

“You’re cuddly when you take med-x, huh?”

 

Might be fun to remember that for the future, once they were on a better footing.

 

She slid off the couch and into his lap. Her hands moved down over his throat, then to his shoulders. “You feel good.” She rubbed her face against his neck, her soft lips pressing against his skin. “Feels good to touch you. Takes away the pain.”

 

He groaned, then tried to swallow and keep himself under control. “You hurting? You were supposed to tell me if you needed contact, sweetheart.”

 

“I can’t. Nate, he used to use it against me. Make me hurt just to teach me a lesson. I didn’t want to give you anything to use against me.”

 

Fuck that mate of hers. Maybe it was petty, but he was going to find the fucker’s body and desecrate it some. Maybe put his head on a pike as a warning to anyone who might think to fuck with his mate every again.

 

He could picture her, shaking like she had been that first night, and the son of a bitch doing nothing.

 

“I ain’t gonna do that, not ever. You need me? You just fucking want me, you just say it and I’m here.”

 

Her hands slid beneath his shirt, dragging over his stomach, clutching like she couldn’t get him close enough.

 

“You gotta slow it down.”

 

“Why? You wanted this, I know you did. I could feel it.”

 

“Oh, I want this more than anything, but not with you high.”

 

“It’s easier like this.”

 

“I don’t want easy, I want real. If I gotta wait a fucking decade till you’re ready sober, then I’ll wait a decade. I ain’t in any rush.” He wrapped an arm around the small of her back and stood, taking them both to the couch. Not as comfortable as a bed, but hell, better than the floor.

 

He stretched out on the couch, settling her on top of him. Figured his body beneath hers might help keep the panic at bay.

 

“Come on, now. Take a rest, huh? Gotta sleep off that shit you injected into your veins.”

 

“But I like you when this shit is in my veins.”

 

His hand rubbed her back as she squirmed against him, seeming to try and crawl right into his skin. “I think you like me even without it.”

 

She shook her head. “Nope. You’re too big, and you’re scary, and you’re too strong.”

 

“There’s got to be something about me you like.”

 

She smiled. “I like when you call me sweetheart.”

 

He laughed and tugged her ponytail gently. “Well then, sweetheart, close your eyes and get some fucking sleep before you get us both into trouble, yeah?”

 

Her body warmed his, her legs wrapped over his hips, her face against his neck. She’d be pissed come morning. Women were confusing as fuck, but this was one of those no-win situations.

 

If he’d have fucked her, he’d been an asshole and she’d have been furious. It would have been proof that he couldn’t be trusted. Course, since he didn’t, he was gonna be in trouble for rejecting her, and women held their grudges from that like champions.

 

But, for that night, he just rubbed his hand along her back and enjoyed the feeling of his mate curled up against him.


	12. Chapter 12

 

Nora woke warm and content, something she wasn’t sure what to do with.

 

When waking up beside Nate, she’d always been cold. He hogged the blanket, and she refused to sleep any nearer to him than she had to, which had left her chilly. It seemed trivial, the idea that being cold while she slept was such a slight, when weighed against so many other things, but it was. Warmth was a basic need and she’d suffered without it, night after night.

 

She curled closer into that warmth, into the source of this calm that soaked through her. She didn’t want to open her eyes, to let the world intrude, to think of anything beyond how damn good she felt for once.

 

Then movement below her had her brows drawing together.

 

She cracked her eyelids to find a chest. A large chest, covered in a white tank top.

 

Gage.

 

She was sleeping on top of Gage, straddling him, her thighs parted around his hips, his arm over her back.

 

The night before came back to her, but her panic didn’t. Maybe it was a residual effect of the med-x, or maybe spending all night against her mate had flipped some switch but. . . she wasn’t afraid.

 

Anxious? A bit nervous? Hell yes. But fear and panic stayed away.

 

Gage still slept, head at an angle that couldn’t be good for his neck. She imagined he’d wake up with a hell of a stiff neck when he did wake up. His chest rose and fell in steady, even breaths.

 

She’d lay beside Nate in the old days and imagine killing him.  Even though mates couldn’t kill each other, she’d thought about it. Imagined drugging him, shooting him, something. She’d thought about setting a fire and burning them both alive in that damned bed they’d shared.

 

But that was two hundred years ago, and that was another her and a different mate.

 

Gage’s lips tempted her. She’d never really kissed Nate. He’d lean in and shove his tongue in her mouth from time to time, but she never kissed him, never felt that flutter she’d seen others have, that perfect moment of romance and want and everything.

 

Before she could think better of it, before her brain woke up enough to realize it was a bad idea, she leaned in and brushed her lips against his.

 

He inhaled sharply, the arm around her tightening, hand gripping her. His lips didn’t move, though.

 

It gave her courage to continue, to slide her lips against his, to taste him. His lips were softer than she’d expected, the touch gentle. She was so wrapped up in it she didn’t even had time to worry, to think about how stupid this was, to remember that she had no experience and was likely making a fool of herself.

 

Or that she was pushing boundaries she wasn’t sure she wanted to push.

 

But in that moment, she wanted more. For the first time in her life, she wanted more. She wanted to pull him closer, to feel him, to touch him. Everything. She wanted to curl up around him, to feel all the strength he had, to enjoy it rather than fear it.

 

She shifted, a tiny movement to ease the tightness in her hips after the long night, and it brought her core in contact with the very obvious erection of the man beneath her.

 

And the spell broke.

 

#

 

She was kissing him. He’d woken up when those soft lips had pressed against his, hesitant and slow and curious.

 

So, fucking tempting.

 

Then she moved, her cloth covered cunt pressing against his cock, which, hello, had taken notice of what was going on.

 

She all but flew off him, legs slipping on the floor, her back hitting the far wall like she’d just found a deathclaw in her bed.

 

Gage wanted to jump up and help her, but he only sat up. “That was a nice kiss, sweetheart.”

 

She yanked down the hem of her shirt to cover her knees, knees she’d drawn up together. “You’re. . .”

 

“Hard? Yeah, I am. Happens to men, especially around you, especially when you kiss me like that. Ain’t gonna do nothing about it, though. Just grin and bear it, like men have been doing for fucking centuries.” He stood, then walked toward the kitchen, staying away from her, giving her space to realize there wasn't any danger. 

 

After a moment, she slid up the wall, back to her feet. Her feet padded along the floor as she climbed the stairs. The dresser opened, then closed. Clothing rustled.

 

Gage made himself busy in the kitchen, setting some water to boil on the stove. He tried to get his body to relax, kept telling his dick to get its shit together, because it wasn’t getting anything today. Or for a hell of a while if the way she reacted told him anything.

 

He’d wait, because it wasn’t like there was a choice, but her body against his had reminded him just how blue things were gonna get pretty soon.

 

She came back down the steps, but he still didn’t turn toward her.

 

“I’m sorry,” she said, voice soft.

 

“Nothing to be sorry for. Everyone loses their nerve now that then.”

 

She set a hand on his arm. The touch unasked for, unexpected, and fucking amazing.

 

Gage turned to face her. “Yeah?”

 

“That was, well. . .” a blush covered her cheeks. “It was sort of like my first kiss. I mean, it wasn’t, but. . .” she sighed, not meeting his gaze. “It was nice.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah. Maybe, we could try that again?”

 

“You asking me to kiss you, sweetheart?”

 

She finally looked up, meeting his gaze. “Please.”

 

He had to take a second, to flex his hands, to steady himself. Fuck, had any word every sounded better than that? Had anyone asked him for anything he wanted more?

 

He slid a hand behind her neck, using a thumb to tilt her head up toward him, before leaning down. His hand remained loose so she didn’t feel trapped, so she could pull back if she wanted.

 

Only curiosity and want crossed the link, though. The panic had drifted away.

 

Gage kept his body off hers, not wanting to crowd her. The only points of contact were the hand on the back of her neck his lips against hers.

 

Her inexperience was obvious in the stiffness of her lips, in the way she moved, in how she hesitated. Not that it mattered to Gage, inexperience could be fucking delicious. That spark the first time someone discovered that pleasure, when they realize how much they wanted this, when they lose themselves in something they didn’t even know about.

 

He slid his lips against hers, gentle strokes designed to tempt her, to coax her closer.

 

She released a soft sigh that spilled her breath across his lips before she moved closer like she couldn’t help it.

 

And that was when he broke the kiss, rewarded with a disgruntled huff.

 

“Hell of a nice morning surprise, sweetheart. How about some breakfast?”

 

She nodded, and slid into a seat at the table while he placed food before them both. After a moment of silence, she looked up at him. “I don’t know anything about you.”

 

He tensed at the unasked question. “Not much to know.”

 

“Where you do live? What do you do?”

 

The fact she wanted to know about him excited and terrified him. On one hand, it meant she was curious. It meant she had at least accepted that they had some connection. However, he didn’t want to answer. He didn’t want to tell her his life story because it was fucking ugly.

 

How did you tell someone as skittish as she was that you were a raider? How did you try to explain that shit to someone like her?

 

“I move around a lot. Ain’t really got any one place I call home.”

 

“Seems like a lot of people are like that now.”

 

“What about you?” Desperation to change the subject clawed at him.

 

“I’m from here, sort of. It’s a long story. I got my law degree. It meant, well, I knew the laws of the country and helped bring criminals to justice.”

 

Criminals, like him. “Seems like a good thing to do with your life. Why’d you leave?”

 

“It wasn’t my choice. Everything just sort of. . . blew up.” She laughed, like it was the funniest thing she’d ever said, though Gage didn’t get it. “You didn’t tell me what you did, though. You handle that gun well, so I can’t imagine you’re just a farmer.”

 

He shifted once in his seat, eyes down on his plate because he couldn’t fucking look at her. “I’m a farmer. Learned to fight from my uncle; you gotta know how if you want to survive.”

 

The lie stuck in his throat, and he couldn’t get any more food down past it. He’d lied to his mate. Told her he was a fucking farmer, like that shit was even remotely true. He was a raider, hadn’t farmed since he was a kid, but right then he wanted it to be true. He wanted to be a simple farmer, someone with hands covered in dirt and not blood. That rush of relief all over her face, like she’d won a jackpot because farming made him good people or some bullshit, it killed him.

 

“Yeah, there are a lot of dangers out here. The first group of people I met were pinned down by some raiders in Concord. They were just settlers who were trying to escape the Quincy massacre. Made me realize that in this world, everyone needs to fight. You’re either tough, dead, or a raider. I knew which one I wanted to be.”

 

And eventually, she’d figure out which of those he really was, and she’d never look at him the same way again.


	13. Chapter 13

 

Nora smiled when she met the yellow gaze of Nick. Nick was like her talking Dogmeat.

 

No, wait, that sounded bad. She frowned for a moment while trying to take the thought back, like maybe he’d hear her and be offended.

 

Nick was wonderful. He was a good friend, and one who didn’t set off her panic. Maybe that was because he wasn’t human, or because he treated her more like a sister than anything else, but he was a rock for her. Hell, the first week, she’d slept on his couch. He’d wake her up from nightmares, metal hand on her arm like he knew that would help ground her.

 

“I was getting worried about you, Doll.”

 

“Sorry. Ran into some trouble.”

 

His gaze darted over the Gage. “I can see that. Any chance I can talk to you alone?”

 

“Anything you got to say, you can say in front of me. I ain’t got thin skin.” Gage crossed his arms over his chest, like he planned to go exactly nowhere.

 

But, Nora wanted to speak privately. There were still parts of her past she hadn’t told Gage about.

 

Like Shaun. How was she supposed to explain that to him? ‘Oh, by the way, I have a kid and I expected you to risk your life to help me find him.’ Right, because that was going to go well. No, she needed to play this close to the chest until she knew him a little better, until she knew she could trust him. If it was just her life, that was fine, but she couldn’t fail her son, not again.

 

She turned, ready to argue with Gage, but he took one look at her face and frowned. Gage shook his head and stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

 

“You okay, doll?” Nick nodded toward the chair on the other side of this desk.

 

Nora sat. “Yeah, I think I am.”

 

“You need help, you just tell me. We’ll figure it out. You went through hell with that first mate of yours, I’m not letting you do it again.”

 

“He’s not like that.”

 

“You think? Because I’ve got to say, men who look like him don’t get scars like that doing anything good. He walks around on edge, like someone real damned used to violence.”

 

Nora sighed and leaned her elbows on the desk. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Nick. I spent three months running from him already and it didn’t do me a bit of good.”

 

Nick frowned. “You never told me that. Should have told me.”

 

“I didn’t want you to know. He’d been looking for me since I woke up. It was why I wouldn’t stay in one place long. I knew it was only a matter of time till he found me, and I was just trying to draw that out as long as I could.”

 

“And now? What do you think?”

 

“I think he isn’t much like Nate. I think I want to give it a try, but I’m still scared.”

 

Nick reached out with his good hand and squeezed her hand. “Alright, darling. Offer stands, though. You change your mind, you let me know. We’ll get out away from him if you need it. Deal?”

 

Nora returned the squeeze. “Yeah, deal.”

 

Nick pulled his hand away and sat back in the chair. “So, onto business. How did everything with Kellogg go? Since you’re back, I’m gonna guess he got what was coming to him?”

 

“Yeah. He’s gone. He turned Shaun over to the Institute.”

 

“Well, we sort of figured that. He wasn’t the sort of man to chat, so no idea how to get in, right?”

 

Nora reached into her pack and pulled out the small piece of tech Gage had found. She handed it over. “Just this. Some sort of cybernetic device for his brain.”

 

Nick lifted the piece into the light. “This looks damned familiar. Look, there’s only one person I know who can give us any insight into this. Dr. Amari in Goodneighbor. She works at the Memory Den.”

 

“Then that’s where we need to go.”

 

“First, I got word from Garvey. He needs to talk to you. How long it been since you stopped in for a face to face?”

 

Nora fidgeted in the chair. “Not since I set them up. I’ve just passed word back and forth between others since then.”

 

“You can’t expect to be General if they never see you. Why don’t we head there before we go to Goodneighbor?”

 

Nora stared over her shoulder at the door, where she knew Gage stood on the other side of. “No. I’ll meet you in Goodneighbor in a week or so. I think I’m going to take him to Sanctuary.”

 

Nick hesitated before nodding, like he wanted to argue but knew it wouldn’t do any good. “Alright, doll. It’s up to you. Just, be careful around him.”

 

For once, she felt like maybe she didn’t need to be.

 

#

 

Gage glared at every person who looked his way, itching for a fight. A good brawl would help him control his desire to go in and take the synth apart. Because, hell, that wasn’t gonna please Nora none.

 

It was something he missed about Nuka World. Raiders got that if nothing else, they got that violence was part of people, that it was like breathing and fucking and eating. You needed it to blow off steam, to keep your head on straight.

 

How could Nora have wanted him to leave? They were supposed to be mates, it was supposed to be them against the world, but the moment that synth wanted him out of the room she’d turned to send him away like an inconvenience. Forced to stand by the door like a guard dog.

 

He knew hearing her say it would have pissed him off too much, so he’d made his ass scarce the moment she’d turned toward him.

 

The door opened, and she slid out of the door.

 

Gage struggled to wipe away the anger, the annoyance. She didn’t need to see it. She didn’t trust him enough to know that he could be pissed as fuck but he’d never hit her.

 

“Thank you,” she said, standing in front of him while he leaned against the wall, not moving.

 

“You know, your secrets are gonna end up getting you killed.”

 

She sighed. “He was worried about me. He wasn’t going to believe that I was okay if you were hovering around, would he? He’d just figure you were making me say whatever you wanted.”

 

That made sense, he guessed. He still didn’t like it, but it helped soothe a little of his jealousy. “What’s between you two?”

 

“Nick and I? He helped me a lot when I, well, when I got here. He’s like a brother.”

 

Brother? Gage snorted. Women could be blind as hell sometimes. That synth didn’t look at her like a brother.

 

She narrowed her eyes. “Are you jealous?”

 

“Yeah, I fucking am. I don’t like the way he looks at you.”

 

“You and I are mates. He and I are friends. How can you be jealous?”

 

“Just because we’re mates doesn’t mean you ever have to like me or want me. We ain’t exactly got a lot between us. Means I don’t like competition.”

 

She laughed, and it stole away more of his anger. She leaned in, moving to her toes, to offer him a soft kiss.

 

And, fuck, there went the last of his anger. It dissolved against her lips, against the way her hands pressed into his chest to keep her balance since she had to lean up so far.

 

She pulled away and smiled. “You forgive me?”

 

“You don’t fight fair, sweetheart.”

 

The ease in which they teased thrilled him. They traded the jokes like friends, like two people who knew each other. Fucking wonderful.

 

“So, where we going?”

 

That smile slid off her lips. She took a step back, hands drawing into fists. Anxiety filled her, crawling along their link into his head until he barely caught her answer. “Home.”

 


	14. Chapter 14

 

Nora stood on the bridge, just outside of Sanctuary. Her feelings were all over the fucking place, so many Gage couldn’t sort through ‘em.

 

Pain. Sorrow. Longing. Everything.

 

“You okay there?”

 

She took a deep breath, her tongue darting out against her lips. “Yeah. I should warn you, you’re about to meet a lot of people.”

 

“I ain’t scared of people.”

 

“Yeah, well, you haven’t met these people yet.”

 

They’d spoken a bit during the trip from Diamond City. She’d given him no details about where exactly they were going, or why. She only said that she had friends there and that she needed to see them face to face. After that, they were headed to Goodneighbor.

 

He mentioned that they were in two different directions, but she assured him, this had to be done.

 

Course, the sweet way she’d offered kisses along the way made him damn willing to forgive the trip. Felt like a fucking teenager again, stealing kisses along the way.

 

How this place could be home when she’d said she came from far away made no damned sense, but he hadn’t pushed. The woman liked to close down if he pushed.

 

As soon as they hit the edge of town, that dog of hers came charging out. She knelt down, and it hit her so hard, it took her to the dirt beneath ninety pounds of excited dog. Laughter spilled out of her as she worked at shoving the pup off her. “I missed you, too, boy.”

 

The dog hopped off her, sending Gage a growl before running into town.

 

After a moment, another man came walking out, stupid hat on his head, the dog prancing circles around him like he’d gone and gotten the man.

 

“General?” The man slid his rifle over his shoulder like he’d realized she was a friendly. “Good to see you.”

 

Gage leaned in to Nora’s side. “General?”

 

“Long story.”

 

“One you’re actually gonna tell me?”

 

“Maybe.” She walked over and stuck her hand out to shake the new man’s hand. “Sorry, Garvey. It’s been busy.”

 

“Yeah, I know you’ve been busy. The new settlements are amazing, General, and thank you for the supplies you’ve gathered. I just wish we saw your face here a bit more.”

 

“Yeah, I know. I’m really sorry.”

 

Garvey seemed to catch her unease, because he smiled and shoved his hands into his coat. “It’s all right. You spending the night with us? We’ll get your house together.”

 

Blood seemed to drain from her face before she shook her head. “No. No, thank you, but I’ll take the little place I set up on the outskirts.”

 

“You sure? I had Sturges work on your place and it’s coming along. It’s got to be more comfortable.”

 

“I’m sure. Thanks. We’re only gonna be here a night, anyway.”

 

Garvey peered over her shoulder, taking note of Gage. “And who is this?”

 

“Porter Gage, my. . .” she swallowed once, like the word stuck. “My mate.”

 

“Mate?” Garvey grinned, the sort of congratulations that normally accompanied one finding their mate. “Well, we’ll have to put together something special for tonight. That’s the sort of thing that should be celebrated.”

 

“You don’t to do that,” she responded quickly, like maybe she could dissuade him.

 

But Gage knew the look on his face. It would take an explanation of the problems between them for him to back off, and Nora didn’t look keen to air her dirty laundry.

 

“Nonsense, General. After everything you’ve done for us? It’s the least we could do. Go on, then. Take some time to relax and we’ll see you this evening, just after the sun goes down. I think we could all use a nice get together to keep moral up.”

 

Nora nodded, thanking him before passing him. Gage kept up with her. She didn’t take main street, instead winding behind the houses until they reached a small shack behind the town. Inside, it was small but cozy. A bed sat in the corner, then a couch with a bookshelf full of books. The old books, real with faded spines.

 

“Sorry it’s not much. Not as fancy as Diamond City.”

 

He wanted to tell her it was a hell of a lot better than he was used to, but he kept his mouth shut. No need to risk bringing up his shady past. “It’s great. So, you’re a General, huh? Never mentioned that before.”

 

“It’s not exactly something I talk about. I told you I helped out some people in Concord? Well, Preston Garvey was one of them, a Minuteman look to get them up and going. I helped out a couple settlements, got them on our side, and before I knew it he was making me General. Trust me, it wasn’t something I applied for.”

 

Gage dropped his pack on the floor. “It’s fucking amazing, that’s what it is. I can’t say I’ve ever been a fan of the Minutemen, goody-two-shoes and all, but pulling ‘em together? Building ‘em up out of nothing? That shit ain’t easy.”

 

She set her pack beside his, and something about that made him smile. The two packs, side by side, like a real fucking family or something. He rubbed at his chest before pushing that thought away, before it crept over his face or, fuck, over the link.

 

Something like that would send her running.

 

“So, you gonna explain to me what this is all about?”

 

“What?”

 

Gage sat on the couch, stretching his long legs out in front of him. “How about the fact that you call this home, but you said you were from far away. The fact that you got a house here you won’t step foot in. Any of this ringing a bell? Come on, Nora, I ain’t asking you for any deep dark secrets. Just wanna understand you a little. You wear a vault suit, so I gotta assume you’re from a vault, but you called this place home.”

 

Nora sat beside him, close enough she almost brushed against him. She folded her legs in front of her and turned sideways on the couch to face him. “I’m not really from a vault. Well, I am, sort of, but not really.”

 

“More specifics, sweetheart, because I ain’t smart enough to figure out that mess.”

 

She pressed her lips together. “I lived here, about two hundred and twenty years ago, in this town. In a house, just down the way.”

 

“Bullshit.”

 

“It’s true. When the bombs fell, I evacuated to a vault up the road, with Nate. I thought we were going to live there, but like most things with Vault-Tec, they screwed us. They froze us. I woke up once in that time, to see Kellogg shoot Nate, before they refroze me. The day our bond formed? That was the day I woke up, that was right when I fell out of that pod. My first day in this new world.”

 

Gage frowned as he listened. If anyone else had said it he’d have called ‘em a fucking a liar. Seemed like a hell of a tale to tell, a hell of a thing to believe. But when Nora said it? When he thought about all the things about her that didn’t make a damned bit of sense, well, it fit.

 

“Say something,” she whispered when he didn’t respond right away.

 

“So, you’re robbing the cradle with me, huh?”

 

 She released a soft laugh before leaning over and giving him another one of those soft kisses, the ones that seemed to come so easily now. She tried to slide into his lap, but he held her hips away.

 

“What?” She hesitated, face unsure. “Did I do something wrong?”

 

“Nah, but last time that position didn’t go so well. You kiss on my like this, I ain’t gonna stay unaffected, sweetheart, and my reaction isn’t one you like.” He figured he owed her an honest answer. Didn’t want her thinking he was turning her down, but the last thing he wanted was her scrambling across the room in a mad dash to get away again. That didn’t do good things for his heart.

 

He could tell she wanted to deny it, to say it was fine, but he knew better.

 

Instead, Gage held the back of her neck and pulled her in for another kiss, keeping her a safe distance from his dick, which had, as usual, gotten ideas of its own about where this was all headed.

 

He was going to have to deal with that soon, too, and he had no fucking idea what to do with that. No way she wouldn’t get the gist of what was going on through their link, so it wasn’t like he could wait for her to nod off then go jack off somewhere. But this constant on and off again shit was winding him up. Pretty soon he’d end up having wet dreams like a fucking teenager, and rolling over into that probably wasn’t something she wanted, either.

 

After a moment, she pulled back and rested her forehead against his. The touch felt intimate, something sweet.

 

“So, this why you didn’t want to come back here? Because it’s where you came from?”

 

She pulled back, but left her hand on his thigh. “Nate and I lived up the street.”

 

“The house Garvey was talking about?”

 

“Yeah. I let it slip on accident that it was my old house. He’d wanted to set it up for the guest house, and I didn’t want that. I guess he figures I must want to move back into it. I never want to step foot in it again.” She shuddered and scooted closer, pressing her side against his.

 

He lifted his arm to wrap it around him, but hesitated. They were doing good; he didn’t want to jeopardize it.

 

Nora reached up and grabbed his arm, pulling it tighter against her, the set her head on his chest. “I like this,” she said.

 

“Me too.”

 

“Are you going to go to the get together?”

 

“You want me there? Don’t want to crowd you or anything. Don’t want to embarrass you, either.” He knew exactly what he looked like, who he was. Didn’t want to try to fit in with a bunch of settlers and cause more problems between the two of ‘em.

 

“Please come with me. I don’t like gathering like that. I’d try to ditch it if I thought I could get away with it, but I really don’t want to go alone.”

 

He smiled at the plea, at the way she tightened her arms around him and snuggled into his warmth. “Sure, sweetheart, I’ll go.”


	15. Chapter 15

By the time the get together was over, Nora was strung tight, a headache pounding through her temples. Preston had talked to her about everything they needed from her, about all their plans. Always more to do, more tiny tasks that she needed to complete. 

 

Sturges had offered her food and told Preston to leave her be, sweet as he always was. But, everyone wanted something.

 

Gage had been silent, seeming to just taking in the fiasco. Everyone laughed, joked with each other, tried to pull Nora in.

 

She didn’t want to be pulled in. The air was thick, like the whole town was poisoned. She hated this town. This town was all memories and pain and a terrible past.

 

She remembered staring out the window of her house, watching the world go by, wishing so damned much to be a part of it, wanting to be anywhere but in that house. But her bruises? They kept her inside. Not to mention, as Nate's mate, she hadn't had any real rights of her own. Back then, mates were little more than property. Bearing children mattered more than petty things like individual rights, and so many held mates sacred, like a message from God, that they wouldn't break that apart. 

 

Gage’s hand brushed her arm, then squeezed it, like he’d felt her upset and wanted to help. She gave him a smile to reassure him.

 

“I think Nora needs to get some sleep.” Gage wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her to her feet.

 

“You can’t leave yet,” one of the farmer’s said. “We’re just getting started.”

 

Nora sighed, not wanting to cause problems. She went to sit back down.

 

“Nope, sorry. She’s tired and she’s going to bed.” Gage’s voice left no room for argument, the tone that said he knew he was an asshole and didn’t really care.

 

Gage pulled her from the fire they all sat around, releasing her once they’d gotten far enough away that no one else was going to bother them.

 

“Thank you for getting me out of there.”

 

“You gotta learn to tell ‘em no. They’ll run you ragged.”

 

“I know. I can’t help it. They were so helpless when I found them, and I understood that. I know how it feels to be powerless, to be afraid.”

 

“Yeah, but they gotta stand on their own two feet. No general builds beds for all their settlements. Sometimes you gotta make ‘em realize they need to do shit for themselves. Keep doing it for ‘em and they’ll never learn for themselves.”

 

He was right. She’d thought the same damned thing when Preston wanted her to plant crops at every settlement. She couldn’t take care of the entire Commonwealth; she was only one person.

 

They walked back into her place, securing the door behind them.

 

That one bed stared at her.

 

He paused by the door. “I can take the couch.”

 

“That’s absurd. You’ll never fit comfortably on that couch. We’re adults; we can share the bed.”

 

He hesitated. “I don’t know about that. We’re going good, but that seems like it’s asking for trouble.”

 

She reached for the zipper at her throat, and he turned, giving her his back. “What’s the worst that can happen?”

 

“You can panic, fall out of bed, and break your neck?”

 

She peeled the vault suit off and retrieved another large shirt from her pack. “Well, I’ll sleep on the side with the wall, then. Problem solved.” She slid the new clothing on.

 

“You decent, sweetheart?”

 

“Yeah, I am.”

 

Gage turned around eyes lingering on her legs, bare to her upper thighs. He released a soft groan. “Fuck, sweetheart. This is a bad idea.” He rubbed his hand against his face. “Look, I don’t know how to say this, okay?”

 

#

 

Gage couldn’t believe how fucking innocent Nora looked in that damned shirt. It barely covered her ass, showing off her legs that seemed way too long for such a short girl.

 

“Say what?” She tucked some hair behind her ear.

 

And admitting that he really needed some release? Yeah, that didn’t rank up on his list of shit he wanted to do, but it was better than her sensing that across the link and freaking out, right?

 

Fuck, how had he ended up here?

 

“Ain’t no way to say this delicately, okay? You are fucking pretty and you’ve wound me up a few times. Things are getting a little tense.”

 

She took a step backward, eyes wide.

 

Gage held a hand up. “Not saying anything like that. I just mean, it’s something I’m gonna need to handle myself. I’d just do that, but you’re probably gonna catch some of that through our link. Didn’t want to freak you out.” He rubbed the back of his neck, ignoring the heat on his checks.

 

She drew her eyebrows together. “You’re going to. . .”

 

“Yeah, yeah I am. Like I said, I ain’t saying this to guilt you or make you uncomfortable. It’s just, well, we’re taking shit slow. That’s good, that’s what you need, I’m good with that. I just don’t want you to get wind of this through the link and end up sending you into a panic attack.”

 

Her tongue came out and ran over her bottom lip. “You could do that here.” Her voice came out a whisper. 

 

“You are excelling at shitty ideas tonight, ain’t ya?”

 

She flinched.

 

Fuck, he didn’t mean to make her feel bad. “I ain’t mad, sweetheart. I’m just thinking of you. If I thought just catching some lust through a link was gonna set you off, can’t think that you watching me jerk off is gonna do anything good for you. Why would you want that, huh?”

 

Nora let her gaze fall on the floor. “Because I want to. Because I know this is headed that way, and I know I’m not ready for anything more but I thought, maybe I could just watch. Maybe it would help. I just think about it and. . .” A flush covered her cheeks.

 

And yeah, his dick responded to that, and to the desire he felt through the link. Not just an education then, huh? “You been thinking about me touching myself? What do you think about it?”

 

She met his gaze. “I don’t know. I’m not used to this sort of want. I never was interested before, never wanted anything to do with this, but I think about you, doing that, and I,” that fucking tongue of hers darted out again, leaving a sheen on her bottom lip, “I want to see it.”

 

Well, when she put it like that, how the fuck was he supposed to say no? Not to mention, her watching him, her so fucking close, turned on and interested while he stoked himself? Fuck, that’s what dreams were made of.

 

He moved past her, sliding onto the bed, against the wall so she wasn’t trapped no matter where she wanted to take her seat for the show. 

 

His fingers touched the button to his pants. “Alright, sweetheart. You ready?”


	16. Chapter 16

 

Nora moved over to perch on the edge of the bed, one foot still on the floor in case she decided to agree with Gage about this being a terrible idea.

 

Gage’s fingers popped the button open, then drug down the zipper. “You want to toss me that towel?”

 

Nora reached over to the one set on the side of the couch and threw it to him. “You aren’t going to get naked?”

 

“You wanting to see me naked, sweetheart?” He grinned but didn’t make her answer before talking again. “I’m thinking just moving the shit in the way is a better idea. You bolt? Don’t want to try to chase you with my pants around my ankles. That’s the sort of story you won’t ever live down.”

 

Nora chuckled at the idea, before trying to relax. The room had a soft glow from the lamp in the corner, enough for her to see but not bright enough to feel on display. She had to admit, she had wanted to see him naked. She hadn’t gotten much in the way of glimpses of his skin beneath the tank top and pants he always wore. When they traveled, he had on the heavy, metal armor, but that he removed as soon as the reached a settlement or stopping place for the night.

 

But he was right. Naked seemed more dangerous. Naked brought her back to Nate. Naked turned him into a body, not into the man she’d traveled with, the one she’d started to trust.

 

“You doing okay?”

 

Her gaze jerked up to his. “Yeah. Yes. Sorry. Keep going, please.”

 

He pulled open his pants, sliding them down his hips just enough to catch a glimpse of his underwear. His hand slid down, into them, his other grasping the waistband of this underwear before he pulled his cock out and tucked the underwear beneath.

 

She frowned, moving a hair closer. She’d never really spent any time looking at Nate. Avoiding him had been her method of dealing with him. Why would she ever choose to inspect him, to spend any time trying to know more about him?

 

She’d wanted nothing but less of Nate in her life.

 

Gage though? He fascinated her. She drew closer, noting the way he wrapped his hand around his cock, already hard and long. Through the link, his lust seemed to swallow her whole. It made her want even more, wrapping that need around her like a safety net.

 

He drew his hand up toward the head, then back down in a slow, leisurely grip.

 

Nora tilted her head.

 

“What’s wrong, sweetheart? Gotta say, looking confused when you’re checking out my goods is a mood killer.” Humor laced his words, no real insult there.

 

“You look different. Nate didn’t have that skin.”

 

Gage looked down, then released a huff. “Right. Forget you’re damn well from the past. Gonna guess he had himself snipped. We don’t do that much anymore. I got no desire to have anyone removing parts of me in that area, thank you very much.”

 

“Does it make anything different?”

 

He shrugged, continuing that slow motion until he reached the top, pulling down the foreskin to reveal the head of his cock. “Not really. Pull back the skin like that, it’s pretty much the same. Not a lot of complicated use in this particular appendage. Does what it’s supposed to do, pretty fucking well if you ask me.”

 

Nora reached out to set a hand on his ankle, mirroring how they’d sat that first night, her fingers snaking beneath his pant leg until she brushed his skin.

 

Gage released a groan as he stroked himself, the head of his cock disappearing into his hand when he reached the top. “You got any idea how much I like your eyes on me? You keep me so wound up I can’t think straight. Ain’t gonna take me long to come.” His voice caught before he laughed softly. “Don’t get that wrong though, I promise I’ll last for you when you’re ready.”

 

“Why would I want you to last? Sex hurts.”

 

He closed his eyes, and she caught a spark of anger before he shoved it away. “Cuz it won’t hurt. Not with me. With me, it’ll feel so fucking good you won’t want it to end, honey. I can’t fuckin’ wait to show you. To lay you down, spread you out, and show you exactly how it can feel. I want to kiss every damned inch of you, taste every part of you.” His hand sped up more, twisted at the top. His other hand reached down, cupping his balls beneath. He angled his knee out more, giving himself more space.

 

“Taste?”

 

“You got no idea, huh? They really didn’t teach you all shit back then, did they? Yeah, sweetheart, I want to taste you all. I want to devour you. Wanna lick those pretty tits of yours, want to dip down between your thighs and just feast. I want to hear you moaning on my tongue, and I want to see you come from it.”

 

Her hand tightened at the idea, at the way it made her want those same exact things. Hell, she couldn’t tell where his lust ended and hers began, which parts were his part of the link and which had started in her own head. All she knew was that her body felt heavy and like she no longer controlled it.

 

The man in front of her controlled it, with every stroke he gave himself, the way his hips had started to thrust up into his hand, like he couldn’t help it.

 

“You like that idea, do you?”

 

“Yes,” she answered even though he didn’t seem to expect an answer.

 

He grabbed the towel, covering himself with it as he came, head dropping back and hitting the wall. The tendons of his neck stood out, muscles flexed, the strength in him so damned tempting. Right then she wanted to crawl over to him, to be the one doing the tasting.

 

She went to move, realizing her hand gripped his ankle.

 

Blood.

 

She yanked her hand back, pulling her nails from his skin. “Are you okay?”

 

He lifted his head, took one look at his ankle, then laughed. “Ah, shit, that’s nothing. Spilling a little blood don’t bother me. You want to bite or scratch a bit, hell, I don’t care.” He grimaced as he wiped himself clean, then tucked himself back into his pant. “You okay there?”

 

“I want that.”

 

He laughed. “Yeah, bet you do. I think you’ve gone far enough tonight, though. You gonna come ‘ere and let me hold ya?”

 

She moved over to him while he laid out on the bed. Her head set on his arm, her back pressed to his chest. He didn’t wrap the other arm over her, only pulled the blanket over them both.

 

“Get some sleep. We’ll discuss getting you off tomorrow, when your head isn’t clouded by my feelings. Sound good?”

 

She huffed. “I guess.”

 

Gage pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “You’re cute when you pout, you know that? Now, close those eyes.”

 


	17. Chapter 17

 

Nora couldn’t sleep. It just refused to come. Even after Gage had drifted off behind her, as slumber replaced the wariness of life, she remained awake.

 

It took a while for her to figure out what was wrong. Finally, it hit her.

 

She was pissed.

 

She’d spent so long being scared, drowning in shame, in what ifs. She’d been so busy surviving, she hadn’t had time to think about how damned unfair it all was. Now? Now she was furious. Nate had done this to her. She laid beside her new mate, and they couldn’t even have sex, all because of Nate.

 

Because Nate had fucked her up. And he’d gotten away with it all. He’d escaped any sort of retribution by letting Kellogg take him out. Hell, she’d survived Kellogg, but Nate had fallen? It felt like she had nothing to do with all the anger surging through her, nothing but impotent rage with no where to go.

 

But she could think of one place to put it.

 

Nora slide from the bed, slow so she didn’t wake Gage.

 

#

 

Gage woke to a gunshot. He shot up, reaching for Nora, checking on her before he’d even fully woken.

 

Gone.

 

On her side of the link, nothing but anger and pain. He leapt out of the bed, grabbed his rifle, and rushed from the house.

 

Another shot. This time he was sure; it was Nora’s gun.

 

For whatever reason, she was shooting shit.

 

Gage got to the house with Nora in it. Garvey stood outside, eyes wide, like he’d seen a fucking ghost.

 

“What the fuck is going on?”

 

Garvey pointed, arm shaking. “She just went into her old house and started shooting. I have no idea what she’s doing.”

 

“It’s fine. Pull anyone around back, yeah? Don’t need any stray bullets.”

 

Garvey went into motion like that’s all he needed, someone to give him an order, to tell him what the fuck to do.

 

Gage peered into the house, slow. Didn’t need to get his own head blown off. “Nora?”

 

No answer.

 

Through the darkness, he caught sight of her. She sat in a chair just inside the door, rifle in her hands. She lifted the rifle and unloaded another shot at the wall.

 

Gage moved in until he stood just behind her. He crouched down and put a hand on her arm to lower the rifle. “Hey there, sweetheart.”

 

“I fucking hate this house, you know that?”

 

He nodded at the holes in the wall. “Yeah, figured as much. This is the house you shared with that asshole, huh?”

 

She nodded. “He moved us here just after we mated. Said we should live in a house like this. He was so damned proud of this prison, like between the house and the mate he had everything. I spent all day cleaning it, but you know what? Only thing I liked was that he was gone all damned day.”

 

Gage reached into his pocket and pulled out a lighter. He held it up to her. “You want to bun the fucker to the ground? Because, I gotta say, might do you some good to see the bitch in flames.”

 

“The settlement-“

 

“-will be fine. You got steel houses here and enough people to keep the fire from spreading. You built this shit, you can burn some of it if you want. Might feel a lot more satisfying that just putting a few holes in it.”

 

She wrapped her fingers around the lighter and nodded. “Yeah. Let’s burn the fucker down.”

 

He smiled, pressed a kiss to her cheek, then started gathering everything that would in the hallway. It was gonna be a hell of a blaze.

 

#

 

An hour later, only the smoking remains showed that anything had ever been there. Nora laughed as the last tendrils of smoke that escaped into the still dark sky.

 

A few people had tried to say something, but a sharp look from Gage had had them moving along. Seemed no one wanted to say anything to him, not when he held that rifle and glared. He worked better than Dogmeat at keeping people away. And he’d been right. She’d burned the place along with every last bad memory.

 

Every time Nate had hit her, every time he’d grabbed her, every time he’d climbed on top of them, they all had turned to ash beneath her hands.

 

“Told ya it would help,” Gage said from beside her.

 

Nora gazed up the hill. “I’ve got something else I think I want to show you, if that’s okay.”

 

“Course. Told you already, I’ll follow you anywhere.”

 

Nora nodded and headed toward the vault.

 

Gage didn’t ask any questions, even as they took the elevator down. He just followed her, like he’d always be there.

 

Nora laughed. “Funny, I thought this would bother me more.”

 

“You ain’t been back since you left, have you?”

 

“I was a little busy running from you.” She gave him a smile as she went up the stairs. “Besides, what was the point? There’s nothing here, really. Just a lot of dead bodies.”

 

“He’s here, isn’t he?”

 

Nora paused outside of a large door, the one that lead to the room she’d been kept in, the one Nate’s body was still in. “Yeah, he is. I should have buried him, maybe. I just, I couldn’t see him again.”

 

“You don’t owe him shit. Let him rot if you want, burn him, whatever the fuck you want.”

 

“I know. I don’t know what I want, I just know I need to see him again. I have to face him. I finally have my feet under me, and I want to look into his face and know that I’m here and he isn’t.”

 

“You want me to come with you?”

 

She pulled her shoulders back and shook her head. “Not at first. I need to stand on my own.”

 

Gage nodded, leaning himself against the door. “Alright. You need me? I’m right here.”

 

Nora leaned up and gave him a kiss before walking into the room.

 

Why did this feel so scary? Nate was dead, it wasn’t like he was going to reach out of that cryopod and kill her. She’d won. She’d survived everything he’d done to her.

 

“I win,” she said softly to the empty room. “After everything you did to me, all the times you tried to destroy me, I’m standing here and you aren’t. I’m not the weak mate you thought I was, not useless like you said I was. I’m here, and you aren’t, asshole.”

 

Her breathing echoed off the walls, harsh and loud, but each word made her feel more confident. She was strong. She was powerful. She didn’t need to cower beneath anyone. Even after everything he’d done, she was rebuilding a life, creating what she wanted.

 

She moved in front of his cryopod and gasped, stumbling backward.

 

It was empty. Nate was gone.

 


	18. Chapter 18

 

Nora’s wave of panic hit Gage before her scream left her throat. He rushed into the room to find her back against one of those weird pods, knuckles white as she grabbed the metal of the pod to keep her upright.

 

“What is it? What’s wrong?” He had his rifle out, looking for an enemy, something to kill for her. This level of fear from her made him want to tear something apart, demanded he shed some blood.

 

She pointed at the cryopod across from her. “Nate’s gone. He’s gone. He was right there and he’s gone. How is he gone, Gage? What does this mean? I don’t understand, he was dead, I know he was dead. I felt him die. Where is he?” Her words spun from her lips, around and around like she had no control over any of them. They moved past logic and spun into hysterics as she just kept talking, saying the same thing over and over.

 

Gage moved in front of her, pressing his forehead against hers and setting his hands against her cheeks. “Slow down for me. You’re gonna pass out you keep this up. Gotta take some deep breaths.”

 

She put her hands on the outside of his, nails digging into him, drawing blood. “Where is he, Gage?”

 

“I don’t know. Maybe someone came in here and drug him out to bury him?”

 

“And left everyone else? Why would they only bury him? I don’t think he has any weeping family left around for that shit. Not like anyone now even knew about him.”

 

Gage knew she was fucking right. This didn’t make any sense, none of this made any sense. He pulled away, though she latched onto his arm, and even with the mess they were in, he fucking loved that. She leaned against him, like she trusted he could figure this out, that he could fix this, that they would deal with this as a team.

 

And she was fucking right, they would deal with this, whatever it meant.

 

The pod was closed, so he hit the button to open it. It hissed as it opened, a blast of cold air. Had it been working all this time? Other bodies rotted in their cryopods, but this one still seemed to work, just like Nora’s.

 

Blood stained down the back of the pod, though not nearly as much as a shot to the chest would usually take to kill someone. Not enough to bleed out from. What did it mean? What did any of it mean?

 

Fuck, he didn’t know and he needed to. How could he keep Nora safe if he didn’t fucking understand?

 

But what Gage needed right then was to get her the fuck out of this place and get her somewhere defensible. Somewhere he knew, somewhere where he didn’t have to worry about a fucking ambush around every corner.

 

“Let’s get out of here, huh sweetheart? We’ll ask Garvey if anyone has been up here. Hell, maybe he thought you’d want him buried. Nick knew about him, maybe he wanted to do you a solid and take care of this, huh?”

 

She nodded, but he wasn’t sure she heard a word of it. She only stared off into the distance as he led her through the vault. Her side of the link didn’t even have fear anymore, only numbness, like she couldn’t feel a fucking thing. He hated it, made him feel like she'd retreated into herself, like she'd pulled totally away.

 

If the synth had buried Nate, he would have said something. Nick wouldn’t just trek all the way out there, bury Nate, then not say a word. That wasn’t the sort of thing you spring on someone. Finding a dead body wasn’t where you left it wasn’t the sort of thing that anyone wanted to discover by chance.

 

But, Nate was dead. He had to be. Her mate bond had broken with him and that shit didn’t happen unless they were dead. There were some basic truths, like mates were mates until one of them died. She was Gage's mate, now, so Nate had to be dead. 

 

Maybe someone needed his body for something? Pre-war genetics could be useful to some, though why they’d take him and no one else he didn’t fucking know. Couldn't imagine the asshole was all that special, not enough to warrant someone springing his corpse and leaving the others to rot. Then again, his cryopod seemed to be the only one still working, so maybe he was better preserved than the others?

 

They had to figure it out because even if he was still dead, even if his corpse was turning to goo somewhere, Nora wouldn’t ever sleep well again until they knew for sure. She’d never be able to relax believing he might be somewhere, lurking, readying to leap back on her. Nora needed to see that fucking body, and Gage would give that to her, somehow.

 

“What am I going to do, Gage? I can’t live through him again, I can’t do that again. I swear, I’ll kill myself before I go through that with him again.”

 

Gage stopped just before the vault door. He turned on her and gathered her against his chest, holding her tight for himself as much as her. “Sweetheart, let me make something clear since you don’t seem to get it. I ain’t letting shit happen to you, not ever. No one will ever hurt you again, not that asshole, not anyone. You’re mine, you got that? Nothing is ever going to happen to you again. I believe that fucker is dead and rotting somewhere, but even if life wanted to screw us and he were alive? We’d just kill him again, okay? Do you understand me? Tell me you hear me.”

 

She nodded, shuddered then pulled in a deep breath. “Yeah, I hear you.”

 

“What did you hear?”

 

“That we’ll kill the fucker again if we have to.” Her voice held an edge, that venom that said if Nate had lived, he was gonna regret the shit he pulled, and she’d make sure of it.

 

“Good girl, now let’s get back. You need some sleep before we head out to Goodneighbor. It’s a long fucking walk.”

 

He steered her out of the vault, and made sure she didn’t see the bloody hand print on the final door, the one made when someone bleeding and wounded had stumbled from this vault, a hand print far too large to be Nora’s.

 

It had to be Nate’s.


	19. Chapter 19

 

Nora stretched her legs out in the small shack, her thighs aching. She just couldn't seem to get used to all the damned walking. Gage had secured the exits, checked the perimeter, and now started a fire.

 

They hadn’t spoken much during the long walk. She didn’t know what to say. Preston had said no one had gone into the vault he knew of, and she doubted Nick would have done it.

 

 

So, what did that mean?

 

Was Nate really alive?

 

She shuddered at the fear.

 

A hand closed on her shoulder and Nora yanked away.

 

“Just me, sweetheart.”

 

Nora took a deep breath. “Sorry, Gage. I’m just jumpy.”

 

“I get it. You hungry?”

 

She couldn’t think about food. “No.”

 

He sighed, shrugging his armor off. “You gotta eat. We have a long walk tomorrow. I know you’re frustrated and worried, but starving ain’t gonna make you feel any better.”

 

“My stomach is in knots. I can’t eat.”

 

He nodded, then reached into the pack. He handed her a piece of jerky. “Here, chew on this. It’ll give you some calories and protein but it’ll go down easy. Just take it slow and you’ll keep it down.”

 

She took it from him and chewed on the corner. “How can you be so calm?”

 

Gage sat down beside the fire, next to her. “Dealt with a lot of shit I can’t control in my life. I learned to just keep moving on and trust that I’ll deal with it when it comes up. You can’t control the world, can only deal with what’s in front of you. No need to worry about shit you can’t do shit about.”

 

Nora moved closer, until her arm pressed against his. “I can’t relax. I've just got all this tension in me I don't know what to do with.”

 

The eyebrow of Gage’s good eye cocked up. “Are you trying to seduce me?”

 

She ignored the way her cheeks flushed. “You don’t have to.”

 

He bumped his shoulder against hers. “I ain’t saying no. Ain’t exactly a secret I’ve been dying to touch you some. Just wanting to make sure you want this, that it isn’t some reaction to stress.”

 

“I wanted this after I watched you, before that vault. Please?”

 

He nodded. “Get yourself ready for bed, honey. We’ll crawl into the sleeping bags and see what happens, okay?”

 

#

 

Gage hooked the bedding together to give ‘em a big enough area for them both. Honestly, he wasn’t expecting much.

 

Nora might think she wanted something, but he expected her to think twice, to realize she wasn't ready. But, hell, if he got to touch her at all it’d be worth it, no matter how far they went.

 

Nora appeared in her shirt, those damned shirts she wore to sleep in that showed off her legs.

 

He hadn’t ever thought he had a thing for legs, but fuck, he had a thing for hers.

 

Gage held the top blanket up, and she slid beneath it, facing him. He set his hand on the curve of her hip. “Ground rules?”

 

“I’m not great at following rules.” Nora grinned, mimicking his words from before.

 

Gage leaned in and nipped her bottom lip, a rougher touch than usual, but she moaned into it. “Listen, you. Rules are that we can go ahead start this, but we ain’t gotta go far with it. Can start with just some touching, huh? See where it goes. You get your fill at any point, you tell me. Won’t make me mad, won’t upset me. Got it?”

 

“I understand. I promise, I’ll tell you if I want to stop.”

 

He smiled at the way she spoke, like a kid who would promise anything just to get whatever they’d been promised. His hand slipped up her side, over her ribs, running over each hill and valley on the outside of her shirt. She didn’t have much muscle, not like the women he’d grown used to over the years. Her pre-war past had left her softer than most women.

 

His fingers drifted up over the outside edge of her breast, careful to avoid too direct a touch. Her back arched, seeking more, and it had him laughing.

 

“Patience.”

 

“You didn’t have any patience when you took care of yourself.”

 

“You want to take care of yourself, hell sweetheart, I’ll sit back and watch you go just as fast as you want to.”

 

Her eyebrows drew together and she tensed. “I don’t exactly know what I’m doing.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“Nate and I mated when I was only eighteen. The world was a different place then, sex, or anything like sex, was some big mystery. People didn’t talk about it. I hadn’t really, well girls weren't really supposed to.” She tried to add some distance between.

 

Gage moved his hand to the small of her back and pulled her forward again. “Don’t be embarrassed, not with me. Just surprised me, I guess. And you never did anything like that while with that asshole?”

 

“No. After things started with Nate, I just didn’t want anything like that. I tried to shut down that part of me. It was easier that way.”

 

Yeah, he could get that. But, fuck, the idea that she hadn’t ever gotten herself off? It made him desperate to help her, to watch her discover it.

 

“You want me to help you?”

 

She nodded. “Please.”

 

Gage turned her, then pulled her closer so her back pressed against his chest. They’d laid like this before, so it should keep her relaxing.

 

He took her hand into his, situating his hand behind hers. He pressed her fingers against her neck, drawing them down over her throat. She shuddered beneath the touch, but he continued down, stroking over the curve of her breasts.

 

He drew the touch over her nipples, already hardened, and to his surprise she pressed harder. “You’re getting the idea, sweetheart.” He used her hand to cup that breast, and she rubbed her thumb over the nipple, her legs moving like it was having one hell of an effect on her.

 

“You wanting something more?” He kissed her ear as he teased her.

 

She nodded, moving her hand lower. Gage followed her lead as she drug those fingers down her stomach, then slipped beneath her shirt.

 

Only to find bare skin.

 

“Fuck. You planning this or something? Because that’s fucking tempting.”

 

“I was hoping.”

 

He laughed. “Yeah, you ain’t gotta hope much with me around. Can’t imagine turning you down for shit.” Gage moved to his elbow so he could look down at her a bit. He wanted to see her face, to be able to judge her reactions.

 

Her fingers stilled when she moved them between her legs, like she’d run out of either confidence or ideas. Gage used her fingers to run up her cunt slowly, a teasing movement. When they got to her clit, she sucked in a harsh breath and repeated the motion.

 

Yeah, he knew she’d figure this out fucking fast.

 

Her thighs parted more, fingers becoming more determined, more confident, as she chased every good feeling, every touch that drew moans from her lips.

 

His hand went lax over hers, letting her control the movements, the pressure.

 

She slid a finger back and slipped one inside of her, hips moving forward, causing his hand to slide directly against her skin. Fuck, she was soft, and warm, and so fucking wet.

 

“That’s it, honey. Fuck I like the way you moan, the little shivers in you. You close?”

 

“I don’t know,” she moved her other hand down, so one hand could press that finger into her, her other taking over rubbing her clit.

 

Gage moved his hand to her hip, and she didn’t notice. “Well, you are. I can hear it in your voice, feel it in you. Just a little more and you’ll be able to relax, I promise.”

 

She arched her back, bringing her head against his shoulder, and he took it as an invitation to kiss her ear, to pull the earlobe between his lips.

 

She gasped in a breath, her back arching further, muscles tightening up, and fuck she looked pretty, all lost to anything but feeling as she came. Her fingers didn’t stop as she rode out the orgasm, as she drew every last little wave from her body, when she finally sucked in a breath, body shaking. She leaned forward slightly, breathing hard.

 

He squeezed her hip and pressed a kiss to her shoulder. “You okay?”

 

“I thought you were going to do it for me.” Her voice came out soft, almost impossible to hear over the crackling of the fire.  

 

He chuckled, thumb rubbing soft circles on her hip. “Nah, sweetheart. I knew you didn’t need me. You gotta realize you can do this shit all on your own. You don’t really need me, you don’t really need anyone. You can do a hell of a lot more than I think you realize. You feeling better now?”

 

She was silent for a moment, and he could feel uncertainty through their link, like she was mulling over what he said. She didn’t address his comments, though. “Yeah, I am feeling better. Thank you.”

 

He pulled her tighter against his chest and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

 

She drifted off to sleep fast, but it was his turn to stay awake, to worry. Even though he’d told her he didn’t worry, it was a fucking lie. He worried, he planned, he plotted. But how was he supposed to plan for a problem like Nate? How did you with issues you didn’t know shit about?

 

Nate was an issue to be dealt with, and he planned to fucking deal with it in as bloody a way as possible.


	20. Chapter 20

 

Gravel bit into Nora’s knees as she hooked her sleeping bag to her pack.

 

Gage slid his own backpack onto his shoulder, having already secured all his gear.

 

Nora frowned at the way he tensed beside her, his knuckles white around the strap of his pack. “Are you okay?”

 

He nodded and stood. “Yeah. Look, I gotta take a piss, okay?” He didn’t wait for an answer before walking off, leaving Nora sitting by the fire alone. They were only an hour or two walk from Goodneighbor, and had already packed up their things, getting ready to head off.

 

But Gage had acted weird the past ten minutes, tense and wound up. From his side of the link she sensed anxiety and anger.

 

To her surprise, it didn’t startle her, didn’t make her want to retreat. Nate’s anger through the link had always made her shy away, but Gage’s didn’t.

 

She tried to push it away. She had enough to worry about for herself without taking his on as well, not to mention she already knew the things he had to be tense about. If he didn’t want to talk about it, she wasn’t going to push.

 

Someone moved across from her, so quiet he sat comfortably before she even noticed him. She jerked backward, hand scrambling for her weapon.

 

“Not here to kill you,” he said softly, smiling like this was normal behavior, like he snuck up on people all the time.

 

He was unremarkable, wearing jeans and a white t-shirt, black hair slicked back and a pair of sunglasses on his face. He struck her as familiar, but she couldn’t place him.

 

“What a shitty world this is where that’s the first thing you have to say to someone. I miss the days when it was all ‘hello’ and ‘nice to meet you.’” She remained still, not wanting to push this meeting toward the possibility of violence. He hadn’t tried to kill her yet, and that made them damned near friends in her experience.

 

He laughed and nodded. “True enough. Without it though, people like to start screaming and shooting and that sort of ruins the chance of a good first impression, doesn’t it?” He pushed his sunglasses up his nose as he leaned his elbows on his knees.

 

Gage stepped up from behind the new man, pressing his rifle against his temple. “Sneaking up on people is rude.”

 

“Ironic, coming from someone who snuck up on me, isn’t it? I was just here having a nice conversation with Nora. No need to shoot me, Gage, I’ve got no designs on your mate.”

 

Gage pressed his lips together and cut his gaze to Nora. The question passed between them, unsaid. Was it Nate? Was this that asshole and could he shoot him? Nora shook her head.

 

“I don’t like games,” Gage said.

 

The man laughed and shrugged, like he didn’t have a gun to his head, like none of that mattered a bit to him, like it was all part of his everyday life. “Well, I love games. Games are sort of the foundation of everything I do. But, since you’ve got the gun, and I only enjoy a bit of gunplay with people I trust, I’ll fill you in. I’ve been watching Nora here for a while. No one makes a splash like she has without catching the attention of a few people, including the ones I work with.”

 

“And who are the people you work?” Nora asked.

 

“Nope. I’m not that cheap a date. I expect dinner and dancing before I put out. Let’s just say that Kellogg was our public enemy number one, and we owe you a case, hell, a whole truck full of Nuka Cola for taking him out. I was hoping you’d find your way to us on your own, but well, you were a bit distracted I guess.” The man nodded toward Gage. “I’m not a patient person as a rule, so I thought I’d just say hello.”

 

Gage moved the rifle forward to bump his temple, to remind him the risk. “So far, I haven’t heard shit that tells us why we should care about you or your little group.”

 

The man grinned, pinning Nora with his gaze and all but ignoring Gage. “Because I know what you’re looking for, and we can help you find it.”

 

Nora lifted her hand to Gage, and despite his unhappiness with the choice, he lowered the weapon and took a step back. Still, he kept his grip on the rifle, making it clear he still didn’t trust the man.

 

“Out with it. What exactly are you asking me to do?”

 

“It’s simple, just come visit us. Hear us out. You can decide if you want to throw your lot in with us or not.”

 

“I don’t have time right now; I’m supposed to meet someone.”

 

He grinned. “It will only take a few extra hours, and we can send word to Nick so he doesn’t worry.”

 

She straightened her back. The man knew way too much. He knew her name, Gage’s name, who they were meeting and where, and according to him, he knew about Shaun. Or at least he was damned good at bluffing.

 

Still, she needed alliances. She needed friends if she hoped to find the Institute. That wasn’t the sort of thing she could do alone. She couldn’t let the chance pass that he might be able to help her find Shaun. Even if it was risky, she had to do it.

 

Nora nodded. “Alright, we’ll go.”

 

Gage grabbed the man’s arm and pulled him to his feet. He pulled the sniper rifle from the man’s back. “But I don’t trust you a fucking bit, so know that if I even smell a trick, I’ll kill you.”

 

#

 

Gage watched the new man walking ahead of them. He made Gage uneasy, not just because he knew a hell of a lot.

 

Gage had learned early how fucking important information was. Sure, he could hold his own in a fight, he could handle a gun, but he preferred to use his head to put himself in a position where he’d win without those things. Meeting someone who knew so much when he knew nothing about the man fucking sucked.

 

Worse, it was the ease in which the man rolled with changes. He was too damned confident, cared too little about risk. It either meant he didn’t care or he knew he’d get out of it. Either a nut job or a dangerous man, and either didn’t made Gage very fucking happy.  

 

Nora had fallen behind, busy trying to collect some scrap, as usual. She collected shit all the time, and he’d stopped trying to talk her out of it.

 

“You know I wasn’t kidding, right? Don’t care if she thinks you might be useful, I’ll kill you if you give me any reason to. Not about to let anything threaten her.”

 

The man turned around so he walked backward. “You’re bloodthirsty for a, what did you tell her? A farmer?”

 

Gage narrowed his eyes. “That’s right, a farmer.”

 

“If I have to pay up on my Nuka Cola offer, I bet you could get me a good deal, couldn’t you? You’ve got an in there, don’t you?”

 

Gage shoved the man against the closest wall, holding him still by a grip around his throat. “You threatening me?”

 

“Not at all. You want to lie to her? Not really my business. I just want you to know that I know exactly who you are. Don’t think for a minute you can lie to me. Whatever is going on with you two? That’s between you two. Don’t let it interfere with what I’m doing and we never need to have this conversation again.”

 

“Or I could just shoot you now and not have to worry about it.”

 

He grinned, that fucking grin that said he’d already read Gage and knew damned well Gage wasn’t gonna do that. “Yeah, but then you’d have to explain that to her, right? And, I wasn’t kidding with you guys. I know exactly what she wants and I can help her get it if she works with us.”

 

“And what does she want?”

 

“You don’t want me spilling your secrets? Well, I’m not going to spill hers either.”

 

“Is everything okay?” Nora walked up, gaze darting between the two men.

 

Gage tightened his grip for a moment in warning, before pulling away. “Yeah, everything’s fine. Let’s get going. Can’t be far now, right?”

 

The man walked ahead like his life hadn’t just been threatened. “Nope, not far at all. Let’s go meet some new friends.”


	21. Chapter 21

 

“I don’t trust ‘em.” Gage sat on the pew beside Nora in the church above the Railroad HQ. “No one does shit for other people. You get wrapped up with them, you might end up just running errands for a whole new group.”

 

He was right. Desdemona, the leader, had given them a whole spiel. They were all about saving synths, about saving the world. Nora could respect that, could understand it, especially after meeting Nick. She just didn't have the time to save everyone. She had her own problems to fix.

 

Still, they had connections, they were on the shit list of the Institute, the only people directly opposing them, so it was a good relationship to foster. They’d agreed to find her in a few days to discuss details after she’d had time to think it over. They hadn't directly mentioned her son, avoiding the subject, only offering that they knew about the Institute and knew they had what she was after. 

 

And the man who had found her? Deacon. She’d gotten little other information than to know he was far more dangerous than he let on. He liked to look harmless, and in her experience, only lethal people did that. Everyone else tried to look as scary as possible. 

 

Nora leaned her forearms on the pew in front of her, leaning forward. Hell, it reminded her of going to church back before the war. “You know, I used to go to a church like this one. Every week I’d put on a pretty dress, do my hair, and I’d go to church.”

 

“Oh yeah? Can’t imagine you in a dress, sweetheart.”

 

“I wore them a lot. It was the style, really. Not always, but a lot of times. Always for church, when going out on the town, things like that.”

 

“I’m going to find you a dress and get you to wear it,” Gage said, casting her a grin that promised all sorts of things. “You got some amazing legs and I want to see ‘em in a dress.”

 

A blush crept up her chest, so she tore her gaze away and looked forward.

 

“You gonna tell me what we’re looking for yet? What Kellogg stole from you? Because your buddy seems to know, and I feel like I’d like to know, too.”

 

She opened her mouth, but the words caught in her throat. They refused to form, to escape.

 

A soft sigh came from Gage, and hurt trickled through the link, drawing a flinch from her. Of course, his face gave nothing away. “You still don’t trust me, huh?”

 

And it was stupid. After everything he already knew, the ugly parts of her past, why couldn’t she tell him about Shaun?

 

Because she was afraid it would change things. She was afraid he’d look at her differently, that he’d see her differently. What if he decided a child was too much to deal with?

 

“Soon, I promise. After we deal with Nick, we’ll talk.” The words came out soft, slow, and really damned reluctant.

 

“Yeah, sure.” He sat back, but his voice didn’t ring with trust.

 

Nora turned, moving to straddle him, to put her face in front of his.

 

His hands set on her thighs. “I told you before, you don’t fight fair.”

 

Nora placed her hands on his chest and leaned in, brushing her lips over his in more of a tease than a kiss. “I don’t want to talk about this in the middle of an old church. I want to be able to sit still, to not be worried about ferals sneaking up on us. I just need to have this conversation somewhere private and comfortable and safe.”

 

He tilted his head a moment, examining her face like he couldn’t trust what he felt through their link. “You’re afraid. Whatever it is, it scares you.”

 

“Yeah, it does.”

 

His hands flexed around her thighs. “Okay, I’ll wait. Just, remember, you ain’t got nothing to be scared of anything from me.”

 

She forced a smile, but doubted he believed her. “Sometimes you’re scary.”

 

“Oh yeah? When’s that?”

 

“When you look at me sometimes, you remind me of a predator. Sometimes you make me feel like prey.”

 

“And that scares you?”

 

“What scares me is that after all the running I’ve done, I think I want you to catch me.”

 

That hurt melted away, and Gage grinned. “Nothing I ever wanted to catch more than you, sweetheart. Trust me, I’m not one to chase just anything.” He gripped her thighs tighter before moving her off his lap. “But that’s got to wait. Not a great place for any catching here. Come on, let’s get to Goodneighbor before we lose the light.”

 

Nora sighed and stood. “Fine, let’s go.”

 

#

 

Gage wanted to punch the fucking synth as soon as he saw him. Nick had a cigarette clamped between his lips, still in that stupid outfit.

 

Worse was the way Nora ran over and hugged him, like best fucking friends.

 

Who knew Gage could be jealous?

 

To keep from acting on his impulse, because he knew it would just piss Nora off, he tore his gaze away and took a seat on the couch while they started talking with the doctor about science shit he didn’t have a hope of understanding.

 

Gage knew his limits. He could shoot, he could manipulate people, he could fight, but science? Fuck that. Being able to stab people with stimpacks was the limit of his ability.

 

The fact that Nick shared that with her? The fact that Nick and she shared their stupid fucking past? Yeah, he hated that, too.

 

He didn’t understand most of what they said, talking about Institute tech, and implants, and fuck only knew what else.

 

It wasn’t until the doctor started suggesting plugging Nora into this shit that Gage took notice and stood up.

 

“You ain’t plugging her into shit. Fry the bot if you want, but she can’t take that risk.”

 

“Thanks, buddy,” Nick offered, voice full of more static than usual. “Glad to know you worry for me.”

 

Nora turned, but amazingly she didn’t look annoyed. Instead, she smiled. “It’s fine. This is no different than going into any memory here. They do this lots of times every day. No big deal. Right, Amari?”

 

The doctor nodded. “It is perfectly safe for Nora. Mr. Valentine is the only one who runs a risk, but even that is a very small one.”

 

“What’s gonna happen?”

 

“We will use the processing power of both their minds to overcome the security-“

 

“-yeah, I ain’t got a clue what that means. Dumb it down.”

 

“She’s gonna take a spin around Kellogg’s memories,” Nick offered, static not covering the insult.

 

Nora reached out and grabbed Gage’s hand. “It’s fine, I promise. You can stand next to Amari and watch, okay? She’ll keep an eye on me. I trust her; she’s good at what she does. Okay?”

 

“I don’t like this, but okay.” He kissed her before walking over to stand next to Amari.

 

The process was simple, even if he wasn’t a fan of it. Nora laid down in a memory lounger.

 

“Have you ever tried one of these Mr. Gage?” The doctor’s accent made her sound even smarter than she was, or smarter than he figured she was, and he’d guess that was pretty fucking smart.

 

“Ain’t got any memories worth reliving,” he said.

 

“Well, on this screen we will see a representation of what she sees in the memories. So we will see, in real time, what she sees.” Amari smiled and patted Gage’s arm, like he was a child and not a fully fucking grown male. “She will be fine.”

 

He wanted to glare, but something about her sweetness had him just ignoring the help and focusing on the screen.

 

The memories floated past, and they were so fucking similar to his own story. Kellogg was an asshole, but hell, was Gage any less of one? Hell, Gage couldn’t even blame it all on heartbreak from losing his family. Gage was just an asshole who’d made some shitty choices in his life to survive.

 

A new memory filled the screen, and he recognized the place. Vault 111.

 

This was when Kellogg shot Nate, from Kellogg’s memories.

 

Fuck. “Can we skip this? She don’t need to see this again, trust me.”

 

“There is so little brain left here, we may have nothing to skip to.”

 

“Look, she’s about to relive someone shooting her husband, okay? Don’t think she needs that shit.”

 

“Oh, my, yes. Let’s try to move this along.” Amari worked at the keyboard, but nothing happened.

 

The scene followed. Kellogg walked up to a pod and Gage got his first look at that fucking mate of hers. Tall but thin, pretty boy looks. Hair brushed back, high cheekbones, high class written all over him. Yeah, Gage could see him as an officer type, a fuckwit Gage would love to take down a few pegs, to teach a few lessons.

 

“Open the pod,” Kellogg said.

 

The pod open, and Gage frowned. In Nate’s arm rested a baby.

 

“Just hand over the baby.”

 

“No, I’m not giving you Shaun!”

 

“I’m not asking again. Let go of the baby.”

 

Nate struggled again to keep hold of the now screaming infant before Kellogg lifted the pistol and unloaded a shot into the man’s chest. The person in a hazard suit cradled the baby against their chest, bouncing it, trying to soothe it. They shut the pod, closing Nate back in.

 

 

Kellogg stopped in front of Nora’s pod, and she was awake. She slammed her fist against the glass, like she might break it and crawl through it.

 

Kellogg’s voice floated, disembodied, a commentary. “At least I know those Institute bastards will soon get what's coming to them, too. If she could take me out, they won't be able to hide from her for long.”

 

Gage stared at the screen, the truth soaking in.

 

Nora had a kid. That’s why they killed Kellogg, that’s what he’d taken, that’s what she hadn’t wanted to tell him.

 

Nora was a mother.


	22. Chapter 22

Nora stumbled out of the lounger, heart pounded, head aching, vision blurry. 

 

“Take it slow,” Amari said, standing in front of her to catch Nora. “Breathe slowly, now.”

 

“Is Nick okay?”

 

“Mr. Valentine is fine. I unplugged him first. He is waiting upstairs for you.”

 

Nora frowned and looked around. “Where is Gage?”

 

Amari steadied Nora, kept her on her feet. “He left.”

 

Left? Nora’s brain seemed to start working again, and she felt anger from Gage’s side of the link. Everything she’d seen came back to her. “He saw about Shaun, didn’t he?”

 

“Yes, he did.”

 

She tried to send him calm, to reach out, but he yanked away this time. It hurt, to feel him pull away, to feel him retreat.

 

Fuck.

 

“I need to go.”

 

“We need to talk about what happened.”

 

She couldn’t think about anything else. “Later.”

 

Amari called after her, but Nora rushed the stairs. She paused by Nick, checked in on him, but she wasn’t sure what she heard from him. None of the words stuck with her as she stumbled past him. He was alive and breathing, or whatever it was he did, so the rest could wait. 

 

She went to the Rexford, to the room they’d already rented. The bond drew her there, she knew that’s where he was.  She opened the door, sliding in to find Gage sitting in the chair. The door clicked closed behind her.

 

“You should go,” Gage said, not lifting his head, not looking at her.

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

 

“Go, Nora.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because me pissed isn’t something you’re gonna want to see.”

 

“You’re kicking me out?” She took a step backward, eyebrows drawn together.

 

“I’ll leave if you want, but with everything you been through? Nothing about me being fucking furious is gonna be something that makes you feel very safe.” He stood up and walked toward the door.

 

Nora grabbed his arm to pull him to a stop. “Talk to me.”

 

“What do you want me to say, Nora? I fucking love you and you don’t even tell me you’ve got a child? One that we’re tearing through the commonwealth to find?”

 

“You’re mad that I have a child?”

 

“No, I’m pissed that you refuse to trust me enough to let me in! If I’d known, I would have been trying to find him for you. I get some of this, I do. I don’t expect you to fuck me, I don’t expect you to be fine with me, but when you keep something like this from me, fuck, I worry we might never get anywhere. For the first time, I start thinking, maybe this hill is too high for us to climb. If you can’t even tell me about this, fuck, where do we go from there?” He shook his head and walked toward the door, his arm slipping from Nora’s grasp.

 

She couldn’t even argue with him. He was right. She hadn’t trusted him, hadn’t been willing to make that leap to let him know what was really happening.

 

After everything Gage had dealt with for her, every time he’d gone slow, looked out for her, she’d hurt him. Beneath that anger, there was hurt.

 

It was the reason she didn’t pull away, the reason she didn’t flinch. Nate had always just been pissed, but Gage? Gage was hurt, and scared, and that was new.

 

And that hurt her.

 

She sat on the edge of the bed while he walked out.

 

Had she just lost him?  


 

#

 

Gage walked Goodneighbor for an hour, until the rage in him gave way the weariness. He’d tried to block out Nora’s side of the link, because the sadness there made it hard to control his own feelings, hard to manage his anger.

 

It wasn’t the kid. It was realizing she had so many secrets. He knew some of the darkest parts of her, but she’d believed she couldn’t tell him about having a child, about something so damned important. Something he'd bet Nick knew. 

 

Of course, a part of him was fucking terrified, too. She still thought he was a farmer. What would she think about him getting around her child when she found out the truth? How could he expect to be in her life, in the life of her kid, as a fucking raider? 

 

How could he even be pissed at her when he was lying his ass off to her?

 

But, fuck, he’d had an idea that they’d create something between them. A family, maybe? The fact she lied to him, that she had a family she’d never told him about? He didn’t know what do with any of that.

 

The sun peeked over the walls of Goodneighbor by the time he was ready to go back.

 

And he would go back. That was the thing about mates. They couldn’t really ever leave each other. But she’d lived through one mating where they hated each other, he couldn’t put her through another.

 

Gage opened the door to find her on the bed, asleep but shaking.

 

Fuck, she was hurting. He’d been gone too long.

 

He was as fucking bad at Nate, forcing her to suffer just because he was mad. Sure, he hadn’t realize she’d be in pain, mates were still new to him. Strong emotions could make them need each other more, but he hadn’t been thinking straight.

 

Gage rubbed his hand over his face before crawling into the bed beside Nora.

 

She woke, pulling away before realizing who it was. The tears came in a rush, alongside whispered apologies. “I’m so sorry, Gage. I didn’t mean to lie to you, I was just afraid. Afraid you’d be mad, that you wouldn’t want me anymore, that you wouldn’t want to find him, that you wouldn’t help me.”

 

“Shh. You’re hurting. I shouldn’t have left.”

 

She shook her head, but her jaw trembled. “It’s fine. Don’t worry.”

 

“Shut up and come ‘ere. We’ll deal with everything after you feel better, okay? Ain’t gonna having this talk with you shaking like this.”

 

Nora moved toward him without hesitation, and it helped to soothe him. There was trust there. She slid her hands under his shirt, spreading them flat against his stomach, her face burying against his neck.

 

One last shudder ran through her before melted against him, her hands sliding over his side, then clutching his back to hold him closer.

 

Her voice was muffled against his skin. “You already know, but, yeah. I’m looking for my son. His name is Shaun. Kellogg said he gave him to the Institute. It’s why I need the railroad, because they’re my only hope right now, the only ones who are fighting against the Institute. Kellogg’s last memory, it had Shaun in it. He’s like, ten now. I lost so much time with him. But, I know what we need to do. They use teleportation to get in and out. We need to go to the Glowing Sea, to find a scientist named Virgil. He can help us.”

 

Gage laughed as she spilled out the story, the way she talked about heading out into the most dangerous, most irradiated part of the Commonwealth like it was nothing. But that wasn’t the thing that had him smiling.

 

She wasn’t saying her. She was saying them. She said us. She talked about the whole thing with them as a team, as two people who needed to handle the situation together, and that helped cool off any other hurt.

 

Gage scooted back enough to capture her lips in a kiss, a way to apologize for getting pissed, for walking out. “You know you never said anything to me saying I loved ya.”

 

“Because you were yelling at me at the time. I’ve learned never to listen to anything someone says when they yell.”

 

He leaned in and kissed her ear, whispering into it. “This better? Because I still fucking love you. You ain’t gotta say it back, in fact, I don’t want you to. Not right now, because you might just say it because I did. So think about it and say it when you’re ready.”

 

“When, not if? You’re pretty confident.”

 

“Oh, I am.”

 

Her hands gripped tighter, nails digging into his skin. “I want you. Now.”

 

The words went straight to his cock, along with the images that sparked in his head. He imagined sliding into her, grasping her, feeling all her heat and tightness around him. Fuck, he wanted that, to hear those breathy moans of hers while he showed her exactly what sex was supposed to feel like. He wanted to see the blush on her face when she felt him push in, when she realized how fucking good it could all feel, when she came beneath him. 

 

But then he thought about the risks, and the damned fear if they went to fast. “Fuck, I don’t know about this.”

 

She slid a leg over his hip, grinding herself against him. “Please. I’m ready, I swear.”

 

He groaned at the friction, and there went all his fucking self-control. “Okay, but you change your mind, we stop.”

 

She nodded, sitting up to strip off her vault suit in a clumsy rush. She gave him a grin that made his heart stutter. “Does this mean I’m going to get to see you naked?”

 

“Oh, you’re about to get a lot more than that, sweetheart.”

 


	23. Chapter 23

Nora held her breath as Gage pulled his tank top off, giving her her first good look at him.

 

Fuck. She’d underestimated just how much muscle he carried, and how many scars covered that muscle. How did a farmer gather up scars like that? Gunshots, knives, burns. So many she couldn’t count.

 

He pulled his pants off, taking the underwear with them, but her eyes didn’t stray from all the healed wounds, all the stories she wanted to know. 

 

Nora moved forward until she straddled him, her fingers tracing a vicious wound on his chest. “What happened?”

 

He sucked in a breath, but she was too focused on him to notice. “I, uh, took a shotgun blast at close range. Didn’t see an asshole taking cover behind a counter top and he got off a shot. Took some stimpacks to patch me up.”

 

She leaned in and pressed a kiss to his chest. “Guess it shows how different the world is. In my day, farming was safe work. You didn’t take shotgun blasts to the chest for growing food.”

 

He groaned when she moved, and for the first time, she realized why. Nora dropped her gaze down to realize she was straddling him when they were both naked, and she was pressed against the length of his cock.

 

“Oh,” she said softly.

 

“Yeah, oh.” His voice came out rough. “You wanting to move off me, sweetheart?”

 

She took a deep breath. Did she want to stop? Some anxiety got her, threatening to pull her under, but with Gage beneath her hands, it couldn’t gain footing. She shook her head. “No. I’m okay.”

 

His hands went to her waist, thumbs moving up her ribs. Damn, his hands were big. His thumbs brushed the bottom curve of her breast. “This okay?”

 

“Would you stop asking me and get to it, already?”

 

He laughed and leaned down capturing a nipple between his lips. His tongue slid against it, circling the nub, and she shifted her hips. The action caused his cock to drag against her clit, and she gasped at the sensation.

 

He released her nipple and sat back. “You’re killing me, love.”

 

“So get to it.”

 

He chuckled and scooted down on the bed. It caused his hips to lift, to press against her, something that drew a whimper from her. He laid back flat on the bed.

 

Nora frowned. “Aren’t you going to?”

 

“Nah, sweetheart. Given your experience with that asshole, I think like this is better. You’re in control, you decide what you want, how deep, how fast, and you take what you want and nothing else.”

 

She swallowed hard, once. She felt. . . on display. He laid beneath her, her thighs over his hips, his hand on her waist still. He brought one thumb to his mouth, wetting it between his lips, before pressing it against her clit.

 

Nora jerked back at the touch, and he stilled. After a moment, she nodded, setting her hand over his.

 

He moved his thumb again, stroking her. “You’re so fucking pretty. Haven’t gotten the chance to see you like this, but fuck, sweetheart, it was worth waiting for.”

 

Nora’s thighs clenched as she started to move her hips against his touch, which drug her over his length. The hand of his still on her waist cranked down, like he couldn’t help it. His hand flexed before loosening, like he had to will it open.

 

Nora couldn’t wait any longer. Part of her was terrified of losing her nerve, of something happening and stealing this moment. She felt like she'd waited forever for it. Not just since she met Gage, but since she'd first started thinking about sex. This was her first time she'd wanted, the one she'd thought she'd get with Nate, the one stolen from her. 

 

She pressed one hand on his stomach as she went up to her knees, leaning forward. Her other hand wrapped around his cock, which caused her to freeze for a moment. It was the first time she’d touched him like this. Everything froze, and she lost her nerve, lost her footing on what she'd wanted. 

 

Something touched her face, and it took her a moment to realize it was Gage’s hand. It guided her gaze to his face.

 

“It’s just us here, sweetheart. We can stop. This is all up to you. Take a deep breath for me.”

 

She sucked in a lungful of air, then turned her face slightly and pressed a kiss to his palm. Her hand stroked him in one slow motion, just testing, feeling. His groan helped her, reminded her who it was spread out beneath her.

 

She lifted herself high enough to position him at her entrance, brushing her clit on accident once, making her hips jerk down a bit.

 

She lowered herself, slow, expecting pain. Even though Gage had said it wouldn’t hurt, part of her was terrified he was wrong, that there was something wrong with her, that it would hurt. It had hurt every damned time, why wouldn’t it hurt this time? It wasn’t like Gage had a magic dick that would change anything.

 

She tensed up, and stopped making progress. Her breath came in shallow pants, and she winced when she tried to take more of him.

 

That hand on her check brushed a finger along her lip. “Easy, now. You’re tensing up, getting tight. Ain’t gonna feel good if you tense up. Slow it down.”

 

She tried to slow her breath, tongue darting out to wrap around his thumb. It helped distract her, helped her to remember where she was, again.

 

Would this be how it was every time? Would she never be able to just relax? She couldn’t expect him to never have sex, to stay with her if they never could do this.

 

“Hey, hey. Come on, sweetheart. Talk to me.”

 

“What if I can’t ever do this? What if it’s never good? What if it always hurts?”

 

He dropped one hand behind him to sit up, pressing his forehead against hers. “Then we never do this. Pretty fucking simple. I don’t want you to do anything that hurts you. Come on, you can stop. I’ll just hold you, huh?”

 

She shook her head. “I want this. I do.” She pressed his chest until he laid back down, like a sacrifice to her.

 

That’s what got her moving again, the way he surrendered to her. He outweighed her, made a mockery of her size and strength, but here he was surrendering to her without reservation. He made her feel cherished, but also powerful. She took a deep breath and convinced her body to relax, to ease. As soon as she did, he slid another inch into her.

 

And it didn’t hurt.

 

He hissed in a breath between his teeth, hands returning to her thighs. She kept moving forward, taking inch after inch. After another moment, her body pressed against his pelvis.

 

His chest rose and fell in quick breaths, the muscles in his arms standing out.

 

#

 

Staying still was the hardest fucking thing Gage had ever done. Nora was above him like a pin-up, beautiful and flushed and just like he’d imagined.

 

And now he was inside her. Her cunt wrapped around her, tightening in maddening squeezes.

 

He’d been sure she’d stop this when she’d frozen, and then again when she’d tensed up. But he should have known better; she was tougher than he gave her credit for. If she wanted something, she’d get it, and she wanted him.

 

“That feel okay?”

 

Both of her hands went to his chest as she leaned forward, bringing her hips up a testing inch, then sinking back down.

 

“Fuck. Talk to me, huh?” The words came out broken between needy sounds he couldn’t believe came out of his own fucking throat, but he couldn’t think straight. He needed to check in with her, but her body made it so he couldn’t remember a fucking thing.

 

“It doesn’t hurt.” Her nails pressed into his chest as she raised her hips higher and brought down harder.

 

“Well, that’s a good fucking start. Just keep going and it’ll feel a lot better.” He reached between them again, hand on her hip, thumb returning to her clit. The moment he touched it, her cunt squeezed around him and her movement faltered for a second.

 

“I like that.”

 

“I can tell.” He sped his finger against her clit, because he wasn’t going to fucking last. He’d promised her he would last for her, but fuck, that didn’t seem to mean shit once he actually got between her thighs.

 

He’d had plenty of sex over his life, lots of one night stands and quickies, but they all were shit compared to this. Each touch that drove her higher crossed their link and bled into his own lust, made him want more, need more. It was a fucking connection on a level he’d never known before.

 

She lifted her hips until he was only barely inside her, then slid down his entire length, repeating the movement, teeth pressing into her bottom lip.

 

He was so fucking close, it seemed time to play dirty, because he wasn’t going to come before her, no fucking way.

 

Gage tightened one hand on her hip to bring angling her hips back to rub against to the front of her cunt while he pinched down on her clit.

 

She gasped, her hand going behind her to his thigh as she came. She clenched down on his cock so tight that he thrust up once more before he came, tossing his head back against the pillow.

 

She leaned forward, head resting against his chest, like she had no energy to even move.

 

After a few minutes, Gage ran a hand through her hair. “You okay?”

 

She nodded but didn’t look up.

 

“Come on, Nora. No hiding.”

 

“I didn’t realize it would be like that. Never thought I'd like it.” Her voice came out muffled by his chest.

 

He laughed as he wrapped his arms around her. “Oh, sweetheart, just wait for the things I’ll teach you.”

 

She yawned, reminding him they’d both had a long night.

 

“Well, things I’ll teach you after you’re better rested, huh?”

 

She curled tighter against him, and probably mumbled something that sounded like a yes, but who the fuck knew.

 

And really? He didn’t care. All he cared was that he had his mate in his arms, and it was fucking perfect.


	24. Chapter 24

 

Nora groaned as she stood outside the Cambridge Police Station. “You’re sure about this? There’s no better way?”

 

Gage shrugged. “You want to go into the Glowing Sea? We need two sets of power armor, and not the scrap sets raiders have. We need good shit. Only two places to get that. Brotherhood of Steel or the Atom Cats, and the Atom Cats ain’t fans of the Minutemen. Leaves us here.”

 

“And they’re just gonna give us power armor?”

 

“Probably not, but everything has a price, and since they just hauled that damned ship into the Commonwealth, I’m gonna guess they could do for asking for some shit. Probably could trade 'em for some food.”

 

“Alright. Try to look friendly, would you? I don’t want to be shot on sight.”

 

“I look very friendly.”

 

“Yeah, like a feral mutt.”

 

The trip from Goodneighbor had taken them all day and most of the night. They’d stopped at a little settlement just north of the Police Station to rest. Gage and she had gotten along well, the tension they carried seeming to have drifted away. They settled into a comfortable back and forth that had her smiling.

 

Gage had been a lot of things, but for the first time she realized he was funny. He was charming, in a rough way.

 

She found she actually enjoyed being with him.

 

The first guard to see them, wearing a full set of Power Armor, lifted their minigun. “Identify yourself!”

 

Gage shoved Nora behind him so fast, it seemed more instinct than thought. “We’re friendly. Here to talk to whoever is in charge.”

 

“Why should we let Commonwealth filth like yourself in?”

 

Nora moved out, beside Gage, despite his attempt to keep her behind him. “Because my name is Nora Jacobs, and I’m the General of the Minutemen. I’ve come to discuss a trade.”

 

The soldier hesitated for a moment before nodded. “Very well. Paladin Danse is in charge. Go on in, but watch yourselves.”

 

Gage glared over his shoulder. “You should stay behind me.”

 

“They had a minigun. Those are the sorts of bullets that would just go through you and into me anyway.”

 

He rolled his eyes and set a hand on the small of her back as they walked inside.

 

#

 

Gage hated this place. The soldiers were all hard asses, he could tell. They were the kinds of by the rules people he couldn’t stand. Just people so convinced of their own moral rightness they acted as shitty as everyone else, just pretended to be better.

 

He and Nora entered the police station and went up the stairs. Behind the counter stood a man in power armor, but with no helmet on. “I am Paladin Danse and I’m in charge of this outpost. You were let in for a reason, so explain.”

 

Nora moved away from him, shoulders back. Fuck, he liked when she did that. Sure, he wished sometimes she’d cower behind him a bit, but he liked seeing her stand on her own two feet.

 

“My name is Nora Jacobs and I’m the General of the Minutemen.”

 

“Yes, we’ve run across your patrols. They’ve gained a presence recently. We’ve yet to have any issues, which is surprising given the primitive nature of them.”

 

“Yeah, well, insult aside, I’m looking to trade.”

 

“What are you wanting to trade?”

 

“You’ve got a lot of men, both here and I’m sure on that ship. You haven’t been here long enough to set up any crops. I imagine you all are getting tired of cram and squirrel bits. We have enough crops to offer some.”

 

Danse cocked up an eyebrow. “And what are you asking for in return?”

 

“I need two suits of power armor. Looking around, it seems like something you all could spare.”

 

Danse tapped his fingers on the counter. “It is not outside of the realm of possibility. However, you’ll need to head up to the Prydwen to discuss this with our leader, Elder Maxson. Power Armor is considered technology, and we do not share that easily.”

 

Nora nodded. “Fine. We’ll head up.”

 

Danse shook his head. “No, I’m sorry. Only you can go up. The Prydwen is our main base of operation, and you are going up to see our leader. That is already a big enough risk. I refuse to allow your bodyguard to accompany you. He may remain here, which is where you will return to when the meeting is finished. The trip by vertibird is not long, and you’ll return in only a few hours.”

 

Well, that sounded like a fucking bad idea. Gage started to speak, but Nora lifted her hand to him.

 

“Deal.”

 

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

 

Nora turned to him. “It’s okay. We need those suits. If we cause problems here, we can kiss them goodbye.” She set a hand on his arm.

 

Danse spoke this time. “Mates?”

 

He nodded.

 

“I understand your concern. You don’t know me, but I am assuring you that no harm will come to her. This is only a security issue. You can stay here, and through your link you’ll know that no harm has come to her. She’ll be escorted by one of my best Knights. His mate, Scribe Haylen, will remain here as well. You two can keep each other company.”

 

Gage hated this fucking idea, but what choice was there? Nora was right; they needed the suits. He had to trust Nora, that she could handle this.

 

“Okay. Be careful, sweetheart.” He pulled her against him and kissed her, as much to tell her he was gonna fucking miss her as to let everyone else know she was taken.

 

She pulled back after a minute, a pretty blush over her cheeks. “You be careful, too.”

 

 

#

 

Nora hauled herself onto the vertibird, trying to bring her stomach with her.

 

“Nervous?” Knight Cooper asked from behind her. The vertibird groaned as his power armor settled in.

 

“You see how many of these fucking things are in pieces all over and you realize maybe flying them is a bad idea.”

 

A soft laugh came from the power armor, distorted by the helmet. Nora had noticed that the soldiers rarely removed any of their power armor.

 

Probably compensating for something.

 

“Your mate going to cause us problems while you’re gone?”

 

“I don’t know, is yours?” She settled into the seat of the vertibird, the engines powering up.

 

“I doubt it. She’s just a field scribe, so the worst she can do is bandage someone. Yours looks more dangerous.”

 

“He is dangerous. I’d suggest you think about that before you think about double crossing me.”

 

He made a sound, non-committal, so she leaned back in the seat and tried to ignore the wavering of the vertibird.  

 

By the end of her meeting with Maxson she’d struck a deal and gotten a hell of a headache. It wasn’t his negotiating, he wasn’t that good at that. It was his rhetoric, his attempt to recruit her. He wanted to explain how much better the Brotherhood was, how pure they were, how they were there to save the Commonwealth.

 

But she knew it was just blowing himself.

 

And there was no way she'd join them. They were bigots, plain and simple. There were people like them in every age, and she'd seen them before. 

 

She’d gotten out of that room as quickly as she could. She’d offered crops from Sunshine Tidings, and in exchange, Maxson agreed to give her two good looking sets of power armor. The sets were already at the Police Station, and she could gather them back up upon landing. It meant she and Gage could pretty much take off from there and head to the Glowing Sea. 

 

“You’re good at negotiating,” Knight Cooper said as they got outside, to the vertibird.

 

“Not really. It was an easy choice. Any smart leader would have gone for it. Power armor is useless if your men starve.”

 

Nora went to pull herself up onto the vertibird when Cooper grabbed her arm in his power armor covered hand.

 

She glanced down at the hold. “You’re going to want to let go of me.”

 

He reached up with his other hand, removing the helmet of his power armor.

 

Nora tried to yank away, the metal of the fingers cutting into her arm, her eyes wide.

 

Nate smiled down at her. “I missed you, mate.”


	25. Chapter 25

 

Nora’s heart thundered in her chest as she stared at Nate. He looked so much the same, even down the grin across his lips. For a moment, she was back in the past, living with him, suffering him.

 

Then a surge of anger from Gage had her shaking her head. No. She wasn’t back there. She wasn’t that woman anymore. “How are you alive?”

 

“A trader saw my cryopod, next all the broke ones, and opened it. Turns out those things not only keep you frozen, but if you’re almost dead, they keep you in that dying stage. Two stimpacks and here I am. Of course, I killed the trader outside the vault, I don’t care for loose ends and I needed his gear.” He ran his other hand over her cheek, the metal cold and hard against her skin. “Oh, I missed you, Nora. You look just the same. I followed our bond when I woke up, as soon as I was back on my feet, I went looking for you. Nothing mattered but finding you, getting you back. When I reached the Police Station and found Haylen at the other end of the bond, and not you, I assumed you’d died. Oh, how I grieved. Haylen is too soft, a poor replacement.”

 

He must have been so injured he hadn’t felt the snap of the new bond, probably just one sensation in a mess of pain. To think they could have found each other at any time, that all those times she’d been running from Gage, she could have run right into Nate, it turned her stomach.

 

“Let go of me.” Nora yanked again, the metal still cutting into her arm, but she didn’t care. She’d had far worse injuries from him before, this was nothing, and she refused to let anything show on her face. “I’m not your mate anymore.”

 

“Not technically, not right now, but you will be. I’ll take care of Haylen and that man you were with, and our link will snap right back into place, just like it’s supposed to be. Links are all biological, and we fit. Prewar genetics like ours, the only ones to survive an apocalypse? No way we aren’t meant to be together. As soon as they’re out of the way, nature will take it from there, and you’ll be mine again.”

 

“I will never be yours.”

 

“You will be.” The absolute sureness of that statement chilled her. He had no doubt that he'd get what he wanted. “I’m going to find Shaun, and I’m going get my family back. It’s mine, and no one steals what’s mine. I’ll destroy whoever tries. Is that what you’ve been doing? Trying to get our son back?” He asked the question like it was adorable, like a puppy trying to climb stairs.

 

“He’s mine, not yours.”

 

“He’s mine, just like you are. You should just sit yourself down somewhere safe before you get hurt. Let me handle this. No one can keep anything from me, you of all people should know that by now. I’ll find our son and bring him back home.”

 

She slammed her fist against his armor but the metal didn’t even groan. “You’ll never touch him. You’ve been awake long enough to join these assholes but what else? I built up the Minutemen out of nothing, I found and killed the man who stole my son, and I know exactly where Shaun is. You’ve got nothing, like always.”

 

No anger crossed his face, and damnit, that was almost worst. He looked charmed, like her acting up was the best thing he’d ever seen, like she’d learned a trick he enjoyed. “God, Nora, do you know how much I like this new you? I always knew you had strength in there, under all those layers of fear you liked to wrap yourself in, I knew there was something amazing.” Nate leaned in and pressed his lips against hers, his tongue shoving into her mouth, like a fucking worm, wriggling and wet and vile.

 

She bit down, but he pulled away quick enough she only caught the tip. Damn, she wanted to take the whole thing off. 

 

He spat blood then laughed. “I can’t wait to feel you beneath me again. It’s been too long. Haylen is a poor substitute, she gives in too fast. I dream about you, every night, the bite of your nails, leaning in and licking the tears off your face. Oh, I missed you.”

 

Nora tried to keep her panic under control. If nothing else, Gage had taught her that. She was strong; she could deal with this as long as she used her head.  “What are you doing with the Brotherhood? You don’t care about their mission.”

 

“No, not really. However, I am a great tactician, and I needed an army to get what I wanted in this world. No better place to find one. I’ve got all this muscle and steel at my command, now.” His arrogance hadn’t changed. He thought he controlled everything.

 

“You don’t command them, Maxson does.”

 

“And Maxson is a child who has no idea what he is doing. He wants to win, and he’ll give me anything I want so I’ll keep helping them. You’ve been outmaneuvered. You have a few farmers with guns, what hope do you really have? Just sit back and I’ll find our son, then I’ll come for you. Be a good girl, Nora, and remember your place.”

 

She laughed, trying to soak it in every bit of hatred she’d developed over the years. “Shaun is somewhere you’ll never get him. The Institute has him, and for the first time, I’m glad. He’s out of your reach, just like I am. You’ve lost everything, but don’t worry, you won’t have to suffer it for long, because Gage will kill you.”

 

“Is that the name of your new mate? He’s irrelevant. Just an obstacle I’ll deal with when the time is right. Don’t go up against me. You aren’t strong enough for that. Every time you’ve fought me, I’ve won. Every time you’ve defied me, I’ve broken you. Two hundred years doesn’t change a thing, not between us, I will always win and you’ll always submit.”

 

Nora bared her teeth in a snarl. “Forget what I said about Gage. I’ll kill you myself.”

 

He laughed before he released her. “I look forward to your attempt. Now, why don’t you get on that vertibird and go collect your power armor. If I show back up at the police station with you, there is no chance this ends in anything but a firefight, and until we are mates again, the Brotherhood won’t give me my rights over you. Everything in due time. That’s okay, though, I’m a patient man. I can wait.”

 

Nora pulled away and refused to stumble like she wanted to. She wanted to drag her body away from him, to flee, but fuck that.

 

She hauled herself into the vertibird, standing tall.

 

She could be just as patient.


	26. Chapter 26

Gage paced, even as Danse kept the weapon pointed at him. “If she’s hurt, I’ll take you all apart.”

 

Danse wasn’t even the only one to have him in their crosshairs. Three other soldiers had their rifles trained on him, but he couldn’t really blame them. He was a hair from violence after feeling all that panic in her. He just needed an outlet.

 

He’d sat with Danse at first, easy enough. The man was fucking straight-laced but not as bad as some others. Scribe Haylen had never come out, not feeling well according to the soldier who had reported in, so Danse had tried to prop up a failing conversation.

 

At least until that wave of panic had Gage tearing around and the brotherhood pulling their weapons.

 

“I’m sure there is a misunderstanding.”

 

“Fuck your misunderstanding. She was terrified! I felt it.”

 

Danse’s voice remained steady, just as fucking steady as the rifle. Yeah, the paladin would shoot him if he had to, and without hesitation. Only the fact that Nora seemed to be getting closer kept Gage from risking it.

 

“Perhaps their vertibird was fired upon. Don’t make any unwise choices until you have all the information. I can’t imagine she’d be happy to find out you got yourself shot because you wouldn’t relax for just a minute.” Danse darted his eyes to the sky. “Here they come.”

 

Gage jerked his gaze to the vertibird. Yeah, Nora was on it. Her figure stood in the doorway, gripping the side, light pouring around her. He released a shaky breath.

 

No matter what happened, she was there.

 

The time it took the vertibird to land was for fucking ever. She hopped out, landing on the roof, and he was on her in a heartbeat.

 

Gage wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against him. “You fucking scared me, sweetheart.”

 

She released a warm breath against his chest before returning a quick hug then moving away.

 

The pilot stepped out of the vertibird, addressing Danse. “Maxson has agreed to her terms. She is to be given the two spare power armor suits here.”

 

“Understood. Thank you.”

 

Nora turned on Danse. She jammed a finger at him. “Did you know?”

 

“Know what?”

 

“Tell me you didn’t know about Cooper.”

 

“What about him?” Danse drew his eyebrows together, a face that said he had no fucking idea what Nora was talking about.

 

Not that Gage had a clue either.

 

Nora walked up to Danse like he wasn’t far taller and covered in metal. “Tell me you had no idea who Cooper was, that you didn’t send me with him on purpose.”

 

It all slid together. Gage reached for his weapon before remembering they’d already taken it. “Cooper is Nate?”

 

Nora turned back, nodding. It’s when Gage caught sight of the blood on her arm. His anger went through the roof. He met Danse’s face, and the brotherhood soldier had the good sense to take a step backward. “You had better not knowingly put my mate in danger.”

 

“I have no idea what either of you are talking about. Knight Nate Cooper is an exemplary Brotherhood soldier. He isn’t even from here, so I have no idea how you could have had any dealings with him.”

 

“I was his mate, two hundred years ago.”

 

“That’s not possible. He is Haylen’s mate.” The name stuck in Danse’s throat.

 

Was that unrequited love? Fuck, that had to sting. To be in love with someone who had a different mate. It happened a lot more than people liked to admit, which was probably why relationships with non-mates were so fucking hard. You never knew when it would get broken up by fate.

 

“He was basically dead. It broke our bond.”

 

Danse frowned. “We are helping Knight Cooper find his son-“

 

“It’s my son! I’ll never let that asshole within a mile of my son!”

 

“Why this animosity? I don’t understand.”

 

“Because he was an abusive prick who made my life hell. And now? Now he’s doing to the same thing to Haylen.”

 

A spark of anger flew into Danse’s eyes. “Let us go discuss this somewhere private.”

 

As they walked, Gage moved beside Nora, arm wrapping around her. “Are you okay?”

 

“No, not really. I will be, though. Like we said, we’ll just kill the fucker again.”

 

#  


 

Nora wanted to cry when Haylen walked in.

 

Haylen walked slowly, the same gait Nora had used many times. Nate wasn’t gentle, and Nora recognized that sort of pain. No visible bruises, but then again, with the way Danse watched her, Nate probably knew better than to leave anywhere they could be seen. Nate was not a stupid man, and she doubted he was a match for Danse.

 

“Scribe Haylen,” Danse said, voice gentle, so at odds with how he'd spoken to anyone else. “There have been some allegations made against Knight Cooper. Can you shed some light?”

 

“What sort of allegations?”

 

“This woman claims to be Cooper’s previous mate. She is claiming he did not treat her well.”

 

“Fuck your sugar coating. He beat on her and raped her!” Gage’s voice came out barely over a growl, but everyone in the room flinched.

 

Haylen’s eyes went wide. “I don’t know anything about that, sir.”

 

Danse swallowed once, then crossed the room in a few steps. He cradled her chin, tilting her face up to his. It seemed like he’d forgotten the rest of world as he spoke softly to her. “Talk to me, Haylen. I want to protect you if what they say is true. You have changed since he came, withdrawn. Is he hurting you?”

 

Tears fell over her cheek, tears that Danse captured with his hand, making the metal of his power armor glint in the light. That fear in her eyes? Nora knew that fear. She’d lived that fear.

 

Haylen’s voice came out a whisper. “No. Of course not. Nothing like that, sir.”

 

The lie filled the room like a rotting carcass, something they all knew but no one acknowledged.

 

Danse sighed and released her. “Okay. Go on. You’re off duty for now. Rest.”

 

After Haylen left the room, Nora spoke. “She’s lying.”

 

Danse nodded, eyes still on the door she’d walked through. “I know.”

 

“So what are you going to do about it?”

 

Danse rolled his shoulders. “I don’t know. Cooper is not under my command anymore, and right now? There is no proof. Maxson wouldn’t separate mates, not without proof of some sort, and Haylen won’t say anything. Even if she said anything, I’m not sure Maxson would do anything other than some form counseling.”

 

“So you’ll do nothing?”

 

Danse shook his head. “I didn’t say that. I’ll ensure Haylen is never alone with him. Haylen is still beneath my command, part of my team, and I’ll shield her from this. For now, she can’t be removed from him.”

 

Not good enough. Nora had lived under Nate’s thumb long enough to know what it did to a person. Haylen wore that same pain. “I’m going to kill him. If I see him anywhere, I’m going to put him down.”

 

She expected Danse to balk, but the need for revenge flashed across his face instead. “I hope you do. For now, take your power armor and go. I’ll do what I can here.”

 

Nora and Gage picked up the power armor, and Nora knew Gage had been right. They’d never have found sets this complete or well-maintained anywhere else.

 

Once they’d left the station, Gage stood in front of her. In their suits, he couldn’t hug her, so he only set a hand on her shoulder, not that she could feel it through the suit. “Are you okay? Really?”

 

She thought about the question a moment. She was scared and pissed, but she really was okay. “I am. I thought if I ever saw him again, I’d crumble. He said as much, said he always broke me, but I didn’t even wilt. He has no idea what he’s in for, no idea what’s coming for him.”

 

“That’s my girl.” Gage tried to lean in to kiss her, but their chests bumped in the suits, drawing laughter from them both.

 

“Hate to break this up, but do you have an answer?” Deacon stood to the side of them like he’d always been there. Hell, maybe he had. The man moved like a whisper.

 

Nora turned toward Deacon. “How do you feel about the Brotherhood?”

 

“They’re assholes and I’d love to blow their ship out of the sky.”

 

“Then you’ve got yourself an ally.”


	27. Chapter 27

“Breathe sweetheart.” Gage helped Nora from her power armor, his hands grasping her sides as she coughed and heaved.

 

He grabbed a bucket and handed it to her just before she started throwing up. His hand rubbed over her back as she went to her knees to curl around the bucket.

 

Turned out, his mate didn’t tolerate radiation as well as he did. Had to be the whole prewar thing, she had no tolerance to it. Even the power armor hadn’t been enough to keep her from getting sick.

 

Gage pulled out the Radaway, guiding Nora and her bucket to the couch in Home Plate. He hooked the bag to a nail on the wall and pulled her arm out to slide the needle in.

 

“You’ll start feeling better soon, okay?”

 

She wiped her sleeve across her mouth as she sat back on the couch, the medicine flowing into her veins. Her color already had started to darken again, that ashy color sliding away. “Thank you.”

 

“No problem, but try not make a habit of it, huh? My heart can’t fucking take it.”

 

Still, it had been worth it. They’d met Virgil, the scientist hiding there, and got another step closer to the Institute and to her son. All they had to do was kill a courser and dig some fucking chip from his neck and Virgil would tell them how to build the transporter.

 

The idea of scattering whatever the fuck his body was made of and reassembling it sounded like a bad idea, but hell, he’d follow Nora wherever, no question.

 

He’d started to wonder what life would be like when they got her son back, though. Could Gage really be a father? Did he have an ability to do that?

 

Nora leaned forward and rubbed her thumb between his eyebrows, smoothing away the wrinkles from his frown. “What are you thinking about?”

 

“What will happen when we get Shaun back?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“How will I fit into that?”

 

She stilled. “I don’t know. I guess I don’t know how you want to fit in. I don’t know how you feel about children at all and I don't want to make assumptions.”

 

“I never really thought of kids, to be honest. Not really a problem if you ain’t got a mate. Probably need to think about it now, I mean, we've already, well, you know. You could be pregnant.”

 

“No, I couldn’t.”

 

He frowned at the pain in her voice. “What do you mean?”

 

“I never wanted to bring a child into that world, into the ugliness between Nate and I. I had my tubes tied a few months into our mating. It’s a surgery so I can’t get pregnant. I was lucky to not get pregnant in that time, and I found someone willing to do it behind Nate’s back.”

 

“Then how did you have Shaun?”

 

“Nate figured it out when he took me in for a check-up after I didn’t end up pregnant. He refused to give up his desire for kids, though, so he had them do IVF, which is just a way to get me pregnant even after that. Unless anyone out here can do that sort of thing, well, I can’t get pregnant.”

 

Gage stared at the floor. No children? He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He hadn’t been wanting children, but knowing he wouldn’t ever look into a face that looked like his, that he’d never have that, it was a loss.

 

He took a deep breath before meeting Nora’s gaze again. “That’s okay. Sort of a relief in a way. At least we ain’t got to worry about you getting pregnant while we’re still looking for Shaun. But, tell me, what do you imagine when we find Shaun? How will it work with us? Don’t think about what you think I want, I wanna hear what you want.”

 

“I imagine setting up a house with you. The three of us would be together. We’d tuck him in at night, keep him safe. You’d teach him how to farm, how to handle a rifle. I imagine we’d be a happy family.” Her voice was soft, like she wasn’t sure how he’d react.

 

Gage reached over and squeezed her hand. “I like that idea a lot.”

 

All the parts except the one where she thought he was a farmer. He could only keep that secret for so long. Would she want that same picture with the real him? Could she see a raider tucking in her child, teaching him to shoot?

 

But, fuck, he wasn’t gonna waste a minute of this because who knew how she’d react when she found out the truth.

 

#

 

Nora woke to find Gage asleep on the couch. She pressed a kiss to his cheek and let him know she was going to go visit Nick.

 

He growled out something that didn’t sound very polite, but then he rolled over and went back to sleep.

 

Would he ever get along with Nick? Didn’t seem very likely.

 

The heat had crept in early, and despite it only being nine in the morning, it had to be in the nineties. It meant Nora has left her vault suit and dressed in her tank top and jeans. It meant the heat seared into her skin, but that was better than baking in long sleeves.

 

Nora turned a corner and ran into a woman with a metal mask over the top half of her face. The woman was accompanied by two more, dressed in the same.

 

Raiders, no doubt about that. Especially with the dried blood on their armor and coating the blades.

 

“Raiders aren’t welcome in Diamond City,” Nora snapped.

 

The woman smiled, though without being able to see her eyes, it lacked any warmth. Not that she thought there was any warmth there. “So, you’re Gage’s mate? I’d been curious. You don’t look like you’d last long.”

 

Nora reached for her gun, but the woman yanked a knife from her belt and stopped it a breath from Nora’s throat.

 

“That’s not a very nice hello. My name is Nisha.”

 

“Nora.”

 

“Nora? What a plain name for a very plain little girl. Gage ever decides to bring you back, you’ll get eaten alive.”

 

“Back where?”

 

“He hasn’t told you? Why does that not surprise me? Gage is a slippery prick, isn’t he? So good at getting what he wants by twisting everyone else around him, by spinning whatever lies he can think of.”

 

“So tell me.”

 

“Only because the idea that fucking him over pleases me. Gage is a raider, from Nuka World. Whatever sob story he told you is all lies. He’s an adviser to Colter, the raider who controls three raider gangs.” Nisha used her other hand to run a finger over Nora’s pulse. “Such beautiful heartache. Maybe I should slit your throat and leave you for him to find. Maybe that would be more fun.”

 

“Or maybe you should quit while you’re ahead, or while you still have a head.” Deacon’s voice had Nora releasing a breath. It meant she wasn't alone. “Take a step backward or you’re going to need more than that mask to hide the damage this rifle will do to your face.”  

 

Nisha didn’t react right away. “Who are you?”

 

“A friend of hers.”

 

“Pick your friends more carefully. Do you have any idea who I am?”

 

“Nisha, leader of the Disciples who somehow think you can still seem tough when you all live in a theme park. Knife. Away. Now. Last time I’ll ask it.”

 

Lines of tension bracketed her lips, but she did as he said. The blade disappeared, tucked into her belt. “Very well, friend. We’ll be seeing you around.”

 

“You haven’t seen me around yet, so I don’t see that changing. Like she said, Diamond City isn’t a good place for raiders. Run back to your kiddie park, sweetheart.”

 

Nora took a deep breath then the three raiders turned and left.

 

“You need better situational awareness, Fixer.”

 

“Fixer isn’t my name.” Nora turned to face Deacon.

 

“It is now. Normally you get to pick your own, but Dez was sick of you not having one yet. I voted for Runner. Or diver, I saw your leap off Trinity Tower. Or my favorite, Spewer after your reaction to that whiskey, but I was outvoted.”

 

“There are still miracles then. And exactly how close have you been watching me?”

 

Deacon grinned, sliding the strap of his rifle over his shoulder. “Close enough to save your ass today. I think you pronounce it as ‘thank you.’”

 

“Are they telling the truth about Gage? You knew who he was, so you know.”

 

Deacon’s smile slipped. “I think you should talk to him about that.”

 

And that answered it, didn’t it?

 

Gage wasn’t a farmer. He’d lied to her.

 

Gage was a raider.


	28. Chapter 28

 

Gage woke up, dragging himself out of the bed. Mornings had never been his strong suit, never something he cared for. Nora seemed to like waking up early, but fuck, there were some things even she couldn’t change about him.

 

He rolled his head, trying to ease the stiffness in his neck.

 

Something bothered Gage, but it took a moment to realize what. Nora wasn’t close by.

 

He yanked on his clothing, then rushed over to Nick’s office. The door slammed against the wall as he shoved it open. “Where is she?”

 

Nick looked up from his desk. “Gone.”

 

Gage slammed his fist down on the desk. “Where did she go?”

 

Nick didn’t react, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms like Gage wasn’t that close to violence. “She found out about who you really are.”

 

Gage’s back straightened. Fuck. “How?”

 

“An associate of yours pulled a knife on her.”

 

And there came the rage, mixed with a healthy dose of fear. He didn’t sense any pain from her, so he didn’t believe she was hurt, but that didn’t fix the fear. “Was she hurt?”

 

Nick tilted his head, like he hadn’t expected that response. “No. Deacon was there to get them to back off.” Nick pointed at the seat across from him.

 

Gage took the seat. “Who was it?”

 

“Why do you care? What would you do to your raider buddy?”

 

“I’ll put down anyone stupid enough to threaten my mate. No matter what you think you fucking know about me, I won’t let anyone hurt her if I can help it. So, tell me who the fuck it was stupid enough to go after her.”

 

“Deacon said it was someone named Nisha.”

 

“That bitch. Should have figured. She’d had it out for me for a while, but she knew better than to try anything with me directly. Never thought she’d show up here or bother Nora though, I swear. I wouldn’t put her in danger like that.”

 

Nick tapped his metal fingers against the desk, the sound filling the office. “Why’d you lie to her?”

 

“What the fuck would you have done? After her past with that asshole mate of hers, she looks at me all sweet and trusting and asks me about my life. The fuck was I supposed to say? Hey, sweetheart, I’m a raider. Hope you still want me. I mean, it’s not like either of us had a choice in this.”

 

“You planning on going back to that life?”

 

“I plan on sticking with Nora, wherever that takes me. Ain’t planning on heading back to Nuka World if that’s what you’re asking. My place is with her, now. Since we’re having this heart to heart, what’s your play?”

 

“Play?”

 

“Yeah. She may say you’re like her brother, but I ain’t stupid. You don’t look at her like a brother. So fess up.”

 

Nick reached into the desk drawer and held out a cigarette to Gage. “She’s a sweet girl. Reminds me of the old days, the ones from when the real Nick lived, the old world. And, hell, I’d be a liar if I said a damsel in distress didn’t pull me in, and her story breaks my heart.”

 

“So?”

 

“So, I’m not a flesh and blood man. I was never gonna be her mate. Just wasn’t gonna happen and I’m okay with that.”

 

“Seems like unrequited love is fucking everyone over.”

 

“Nah, I don’t think it’s unrequited love, I just think it’s this world. Likes to show people things they want that they’re never gonna get.”

 

Gage flicked ash into the ashtray on Nick’s desk. “I hear you about that.” He released a breath the spread smoke out in the space between him and the synth.

 

They sat in silence for a moment, and Gage rubbed his eyes with his fingers, digging in like he could ease the ache. Nora had run from him. Sure, it was based in anger, not fear, but fuck, she’d run.

How was he gonna fix this?

 

Worse, he couldn’t even argue with her. He’d lied. How could she trust him now? Hell, why would she think he was different than any other raider she’d dealt with?

 

Fuck. His skin crawled with her being so far away. He wanted to rest his eyes on her, to know she was okay by seeing her, to run her fingers along her skin.

 

“You really love her, don’t you?”

 

“Yeah, I really fucking do.”

 

Nick nodded. “Well, you can find her without my help. All you gotta do is follow that link, so why are you still sitting here with me?”

 

“Because I don’t know what to say to her when I find her. Don’t know how to make her understand that I ain’t that person.”

 

“Nora’s a smart girl. You just be honest and she’ll understand. You kids will figure it out. Now, go on. Get out of here and go get her.”

 

“Yeah, thanks Valentine.”

 

The synth waved him off, and Gage laughed at the unlikely friend.

 

 

#

 

“Never fight angry!” Deacon yanked Nora behind cover. “You have a death wish, you know that?”

 

“I thought you’d watched me long enough to know how I fight.”

 

“Yeah, I guess it feels different when I have bullets whizzing by my head. I get you’re pissed, but let’s try not to get ourselves killed over it.”

 

Nora took a deep breath, and once she settled, he removed his arm from his chest. “Sorry.”

 

“We all have bad days, Fixer. We aren’t going to get any fun courser box prizes if we die down here, though, so head in the game. You can worry about your love life later.”

 

“You’re going to find a mate someday and I hope I’m around to laugh at you when she turns you inside out.”

 

“Never going to happen, Charmer. I’m a solo agent.”

 

Nora rolled her shoulders, then shook out her hands.

 

Gage was close. Hell, it felt like they were back at the beginning again, with her running and him chasing her. Only this time she wasn’t afraid, she was pissed.

 

He’d lied to her, over and over again. It didn’t shock her, and made a hell of a lot of sense when she thought about it. No farmer had those sorts of scars, or his sort of skills with a gun. He carried a gun like he lived with the thing, like it was part of him. He was a man who had spent his life in violence.

 

His eye told her that. He’d said he’d been sixteen when it happened, barely older than a kid.

 

“So, talk to Dr. Deacon about your problems.” Deacon fired a shot at the next group of raiders that stood between them and the courser whose chip they needed.

 

“What are you talking about?” Nora followed him, firing at the enemies as they progressed through the plaza.

 

“So he’s a raider. So what? Why pull this ‘I am an Island” bull?”

 

“Are you really trying to give me therapy right now?”

 

“I’m great with people. The best. People come from all over to ask me to help them with their problems.”

 

“While people are shooting at you?”

 

Deacon tossed a grenade. “That’s called multitasking and it usually costs extra. Now, come on, talk to me.”

 

“What do you want me to say? He lied to me. How can I trust him?”

 

“Because people have pasts they aren’t proud of. We all screw up, we all do things in our past we aren’t proud of. Sometimes we just hope we’ll find someone who can maybe look past it.”

 

Nora knelt and peered through an open window, targeting a turret on the far side. One bullet and it fell in a mess of scrap. “And how do I know that isn’t still him? He can sit there and say he’s different, but how do I know?”

 

Deacon ducked down behind the window beside her. “Easy. Don’t go by your assumptions, go by what he’s done. Go by his actions, not what you think his actions might be based on who you think he might be.”

 

Nora frowned, casting Deacon a sidelong glance. “What exactly makes you an expert on this?”

 

He smiled, but it didn’t hide the tension in his face. “Just someone who understands what it feels like to wish your past was different.”

 

She let his words roll around in her head before she rose to continue down the hall. “Thanks, D.”

 

“Don’t say thanks until you see my bill.”

 

Nora laughed at the way Deacon could frustrate her but still make her smile. The only thing she could admit was that he was far smarter than one would assume by looking at him.

 

Gage was close, in the building she’d guess. Deacon and she had cleared all the bottom floors, so he’d catch up in no time.

 

It meant she and Deacon needed to take on the courser now.

 

#

 

Gage took floor after floor in a dead run. He passed the bodies spread across the floors, evidence of what Nora and Deacon had done without him.

 

They drove him faster. She’d taken that two-bit liar with her instead of him, and the idea that she could be hurt made him move faster.

 

The elevator crawled up until he reached the top, and a voice he didn’t recognized reached him. “If you’re not here for the synth, you must be here for me.” It lacked emotion, like nothing mattered.

 

“I just want that shiny chip inside your neck,” Nora said.

 

“That, you cannot have.”

 

Gage took the stairs in a few steps, reaching the room where Deacon stood, gun up, and a courser stood across from them, gaze on Nora.

 

He slid over until he stood beside Nora. She didn’t turn, didn’t acknowledge him, but he knew she’d seen him.

 

“I’m not leaving here without it,” Nora said.

 

“Yes, you are.” The courser lifted his rifle.

 

Gage had two options. Option one: Pull his weapon and try to shoot the courser and hope he managed it before the courser managed a shot at Nora, or option two.

 

And option two sucked.

 

He twisted Nora behind him just before the courser’s gun fired, and pain seared through his shoulder.

 

Yep, a stupid fucking option, but he’d never claimed to be smart.


	29. Chapter 29

 

“You’re an idiot!” Nora grasped Gage’s arm, gentle despite her frustration, to inspect the wound. At least the bullet had gone through clean.

 

“Probably, yeah, but I’ve taken enough hits over the years. Ain’t about to let you, sweetheart.”

 

She tried to glare as she pulled a stimpack from her pack, then jammed it into his arm harder than she needed to.

 

Deacon had taken the courser out in a single shot when his attention had been on Nora. “For future reference, when you need something out of the head, neck area, don’t shoot right there. This is really gross.” He pushed some of the mess aside, searching for the chip. “It looks like jello with fruit in it.”

 

“How do you know about jello?”

 

“Saw it in a book once. Is this what is was made of?” Deacon’s eyes went wide as he lifted a piece.

 

Nora shook her head, turning her attention back to Gage. “What are you even doing here?”

 

“You really gonna ask that? Seems pretty obvious.”

 

“You lied to me.”

 

Gage sighed, reaching up with his bad arm before wincing, then using his good arm to rub his eyes. “I know. I didn’t know how you’d react to the truth. You were so fucking skittish anyway, last thing I wanted was to give you another reason to be afraid.”

 

Deacon walked back over, holding up the chip. “Found it! Hey, come on, we’ve got stuff to do that doesn’t include whatever this is. What was my first rule, Fixer?”

 

“That I’m not allowed to steal your snacks.”

 

“Second rule, then.”

 

“That I’m responsible for killing all radroaches because they creep you out.”

 

Deacon sighed, holding the chip up. “Okay, well, somewhere on that list was that we don’t screw in the field. You wait until we get back to HQ, where I can sit comfortably, because I want to watch, but I also have a bad back.”

 

"If you think this is screwing, you have weird sex." 

 

"Probably true." Deacon grinned.

 

Nora glared. “I’m going to take Gage to Goodneighbor. You go to HQ and get Tom working on that chip, because you’ll move faster on your own. I’ll meet you there tomorrow.”

 

The power armor suits were already ready at Somerville Place, the closest settlement to the Glowing Sea. Before Deacon and she hit the courser location, they’d dropped the suits off. It meant that when she needed to head back to Virgil, the power armor was ready.

 

“Sure, fixer. Don’t let me watch, fine. Just send me home alone with the chip.” Deacon spoke over his shoulder as he left.

 

Once alone, Gage captured Nora’s hand. “Look-“

 

Nora shook her head. “Not here. I can’t do this here.”

 

He frowned, but nodded. When she went to pull away, he kept hold. “Don’t talk to me, fine, but you can’t tell me the touch doesn’t help. Don’t be stubborn.”

 

Nora laced her fingers through his and nodded. It did help.

 

#

 

Gage dropped his gear in the hotel room, glad his shoulder had finally stopped hurting. It still ached, wouldn’t work well for a few days. He’d taken the bullet near his collarbone, and while it went through clean, and hadn’t hit bone, it had a nice chunk of his muscle and ground it up.

 

They’d said nothing during the trip, and her feelings had been all over the place. Still, she was there, and that had to mean something. If she’d been done, she wouldn’t have agreed to travel with him alone, right?

 

Fuck if he knew, but he was holding onto that chance.

 

“Look, Nora, I’m sorry.” He spat the words out fast, afraid she’d stop him. “I shouldn’t have lied. I just didn’t know what else to say. I wanted to be the person you thought I was, I wanted to be a farmer, someone you could look at and be proud of. And then you asked me, and I just couldn’t fucking tell you the truth.”

 

She sat on the edge of the bed. “So tell me the truth now.”

 

Gage took a deep breath, then sat beside her. “Truth is I’m a raider. Have been most of my life. I was a farmer, or, well, my parents were. Saw ‘em get screwed, saw ‘em roll over and give the raiders whatever they wanted whenever they showed up. And my parents struggled because most of what they got went to raiders. They could barely feed themselves. I said, I wasn’t gonna be that person. I wasn’t gonna let people roll me over, so I left. Took odd jobs, worked for caps, but I saw the same thing everywhere. Raiders were at the top of the food chain. No one was willing to stand up against ‘em, and I was tired of getting shit on. So I went on the offensive and I joined up with some raiders. Better to be a predator than prey. I’d rather be the yao-guai than the radstag.”

 

Nora didn’t speak, but she did reach over and squeeze his hand.

 

It helped him continue. “Hooked up with a medium sized group and realized my brains might do some good. Offered some suggestions, but eventually the leader thought he’d gotten all he could get from me and worried I might try to take his place. Set me up for an ambush that gave me this.” Gage pointed at the eye hidden by the patch. “I’ve been in so many raider outfits since then, seen ‘em all tear themselves apart because of stupid choices, because of chems and anger and fuckups, and I ran before it happened each time. Ended up in Nuka World, helping out an asshole named Colter. Talked him into a stupid plan to gather up three different raider gangs and take over the whole park. Fuck, I don’t know, I just wanted something solid. Back at home, people took everything from me, from my family. I kept on losing everything and swearing I wasn’t gonna let a single thing get taken from me, not anymore. But, Nuka World is a mess just waiting to collapse. Gangs are realizing Colter ain’t doing the shit he said he would, and they’re ready to turn on me since it was all my idea.”

 

“Yeah, I got the sense from Nisha that she wasn’t happy with you.”

 

“Fuck, I’m sorry about that. I woulda never thought she’d pull that shit or I wouldn’t have put you in danger. You know that, right?”

 

She didn't answer his question. “So what now? Are you planning on going back to that life? Because, I don’t think I could stick by you while you were hurting people, while you were doing those things.”

 

“I ain’t going back. What I’ve been wanting this whole time is something I could have, something of mine, something that I could't lose, but you made me realize something.”

 

“What’s that?”

 

Gage set a hand on Nora’s cheek so she met his gaze. “That I finally found something I ain’t gonna let go of. Nothing is gonna take you from me. I never had anything I cared that much about before, but I ain’t gonna let shit take you away from me.”

 

Nora frowned, like she couldn’t believe that. “Really?”

 

“Really. I’m going exactly nowhere. You can hiss at me all you want, but I’m here, with you, no matter what. When we figure out how to get into the Institute, I’m with you. When we deal with Nate, I’m with you. No matter what happens, I'm with you.”

 

“And when we have to deal with Nuka World when this is over, I’m with you.”

 

The words let Gage suck in a full breath. “You know, I ain’t never had anyone have my back, had someone I could count on. Everyone I’ve known has been in it for as long as I could do something for them, then they were just as happy to gut me. Can’t believe after all the shit I’ve done I could ever have that, especially from someone like you.”

 

Nora grinned, sliding closer. “So that was our first real fight, wasn’t it?”

 

“Yeah, sweetheart, I think it was.”

 

Nora reached down and cupped Gage through his pants. “Does that mean we get to make up now?”

 

“Like I’d ever turn you down.” He pulled his shirt off, then scooted back on the bed and beckoned her over. “Now, come on over here and let me make it up to you.”


	30. Chapter 30

 

Nora unzipped her vault suit and peeled it off before joining Gage on the bed. The ease in which she dealt with him pleased her. With Nate, she’d always been on edge, always worrying how he was going to react. With Gage, she just was there, she didn’t have to think too hard.

 

“You got any idea how pretty you are?”

 

She laughed as she crawled over to him, fingers popping open the button of his pants.

 

“Eager, huh? Maybe I need dinner and drinks.”

 

Nora hooked her fingers into the waistband of her panties and pulled them off.

 

Gage’s eyes locked on her. “Never mind. I’m good.” He removed his own pants.

 

The playfulness had Nora smiling. She liked this, the way they joked. Nora leaned over Gage until she could capture his lips in a kiss. His hand grasped the back of her neck, pulling her in closer, taking over more the kiss.

 

She enjoyed the way he took more initiative. He never went too fast, never pushed her, but he’d kiss her back now, deepen that kiss, pull her closer. Still, it felt normal, natural even, when he tightened his grip, when she felt how much he wanted her.

 

Nora’s hands ran over his shoulders, fingers tracing the scars. The more she knew about him, the more she loved those scars, especially now that she knew how he’d gotten them. He’d suffered, lived a life like so many these days, one where he had to do things to survive, things she’d never had to think about.

 

“They bother you? Remind you what I’ve done?” His voice dripped with shame.

 

“No. They make me think about what you’ve been through.” Her fingers came up to his eye patch, but she hesitated. Would he want her to touch that? Would it bother him?

 

“You don’t want to go removing that. Already told you, it ain’t pretty, it’s why I wear it.”

 

“I don’t care what it looks like.”

 

He frowned. “Fine. Go ahead, but don’t say I didn’t warn ya.”

 

Nora leaned in and brushed her lips against his until he started to relax again, until his muscles loosened, then she slid the patch off. Gage tensed again. She didn’t open her eyes, just continued the kiss, coaxing him to relax.

 

When he did, again, she leaned back. His eyes were closed, but she could already see some of the damage. A scar ran over that eyebrow, then ended on that cheek, deep but white from healing and age. Gage opened his eyes, though his gaze remained lower. The eye was solid white, like the pupil had been washed away.

 

“Stimpack saved the basic eye structure, but it doesn’t work anymore and it doesn’t look right.” Gage leaned back, adding space between them. “Guess it’s what I got for being stupid, huh?”

 

Nora slid into his lap and cupped his cheeks between her hands. She leaned in and pressed a kiss to the scar on that eyebrow, then the scar beneath, then to the eyelid. “It’s just proof that you’re tougher than what tried to kill you. Which makes me wonder, did you deal with the asshole who set you up?”

 

“No. Heading back guns blazing would have only given him the chance to finish me off. I was barely older than a kid, still.”

 

Nora kissed his temple, where a red mark from the strap remained, almost burned into his skin like he never took it off. Then again, he’d never taken it off since she’d known him. “Promise me something?”

 

“Anything, sweetheart.”

 

“That if we find him again, you let me kill him.”

 

Gage laughed and reached for his eye patch.

 

Nora set her hand on his. “Don’t put it back on. Just, leave it off, for tonight? Not really a reason to hide, is there? Please?”

 

He hesitated, but tossed the eye patch to the table. “Get’s too hard to look at, you tell me. I’ll put it back on.” He wound his arms around her waist, then leaned down to kiss her collarbone, then over her chest. He used his tongue over the curve of her breast before capturing a nipple between his lips.

 

Nora’s hands gripped behind his neck as she gasped. “Fuck.”

 

He pulled back. “You know what I love? Those sounds you make, how damned much you like it when I touch you. Nothing better than that.” His hands replaced the touch of his lips, going up to stroke across her breast.

 

She arched into the touch, trying to get more, harder, something. Her hips ground against him. “Please.”

 

“Please, what?”

 

“I want you.”

 

He nipped at her bottom lip, then placed his hands behind him, leaning back. “Go on then.”

 

Nora released a soft huff. “I thought you were going to do some of the work one of these times.”

 

He rolled his hips up, pressing his length against her. “Oh, it’s not about doing the work. You still need to be in control. I want you to learn to take from me, to trust me. No better way to do that this. You learn you got no reason to be afraid of me.”

 

“I’m not afraid of you.” She reached between them, wrapping her hand around his cock, warm and solid and tempting. She didn’t freeze this time, didn’t need a moment to gather courage. She rose on her knees and sunk down on his length, taking him easily.

 

Gage let his head drop back for a moment, a deep groan escaping, rumbling out through his chest. It took him a moment before he responded to her. “Not in your head, no, you ain’t. But it’s still in there. Hell, it’ll probably always be in there. You seen all my fucking scars on my skin? Well, you wear yours deeper, and sometimes they’ll hurt. But we keep at this? They’re gonna hurt less and less.”

 

She set her hands on his shoulders, careful to avoid the wounded spot, and started a rhythm. She lifted up, then sunk down. Her pace quickened above him, taking him deep. He stretched her, the fullness wonderful, something she craved each time she lowered back against his waist, each time she seated him inside her.

 

Gage let his weight rest on one hand, lifting the other to her waist, thumb stroking over her side. He stared at her, seemed to drink in the sight of her. His gaze would drift down, between her legs, where he pushed in, then up her body, over her breasts, and up to her face.

 

His damaged eye should bother her, some distant part of her thought. It didn’t, though. It was just another part of him that she loved.

 

Her rhythm faltered. Love? Fuck, she wasn’t ready for that, was she? Mates were one thing, she’d lived through mates. But love? That was. . . new.

 

Gage’s hand rubbed down her thigh. “You okay there, sweetheart?”

 

Nora leaned in and kissed him, then rested her head against his. “I love you. I’m sorry it took me so long to say it, but, yeah, I do.”

 

Gage laughed, his hands going to her hips. “I thought doing stupid shit was my job, huh? Hard to complain, though, because it sure works out in my favor.” He used his grip on her to get her moving again. “This okay?”

 

She nodded, sliding her arms over his shoulders and arching her back as she rode him, using his hands as guides, giving in to his rhythm, to his speed. The muscles of her thighs clenched as she used them, giving herself over to Gage, trusting him to guide her.

 

And, damnit, she liked it. The first time she’d been in complete control, but this time, this time she gave a measure of that away. It healed some part of her, let her relax. He brought his other hand between them, rubbing her clit.

 

It only took her a few more movements before she came, tightening around him so much he didn’t move anymore. His grip on her hip cranked down as he came, as his cock twitched inside of her, but she didn’t mind, even if she bruised later, it wouldn’t bother her.

 

He buried his face against her neck, his breath spilling out over her skin, warming her. “Fucking love you so much, sweetheart.”

 

Nora smiled as she eased against him, allowing him to use all that strength of his to hold her. “Yeah, I fucking love you, too.”


	31. Chapter 31

Gage eyed the settlers, figuring he’d never grow used to these farmers. He always wanted to run when they stopped in at one of Nora’s settlements. Reminded him of his parents, he guessed. Or maybe it reminded him of all the fucking people he’d hurt over the years. Either way, they made him itch.

 

Nora walked out of the main house, since Gage had figured he’d keep his ass near the fire instead of making people nervous.

 

“Suits are in that far shack. They also set up a bed for us. We’ll spend the night, then head out first thing in the morning for Virgil.”

 

Gage nodded and followed her.

 

The shack had little in it, but enough for them. A bed cleaner than most he’d ever slept on, the power armor in the corner, a table with food and water.

 

They ate, undressed, and crawled into the bed.

 

Nora rolled on her side, facing him, both naked. She looked so damned small beside him, and even if it was some primitive part of him, he liked that. He liked how she fit against him, how he could wrap his arms around her, curl his body around hers like a shield. Fuck being evolved, he liked that part of him.

 

He laughed when something brushed his leg: her foot. “You sure about that?”

 

“We’re running off into the most irradiated part of the Commonwealth to give a chip to a super mutant scientist. Who knows if we’ll ever get another chance.”

 

Gage chuckled and used a grip on her hip to pull her close enough to kiss.

 

She melted into the touch, and he fucking hardened just from that. She didn’t yank away by instinct anymore, didn’t pull back out of some fear. Instead, she drew closer at every chance she got. It soothed that part of him that thought he’d never get this, that he’d never deserve it.

 

Nora hooked her leg around his thigh, pulling at him. He eased over her, slow, careful. His knee and a hand by her side kept him from pressing down on her. Nora had a tendency to want to run head long into shit sometimes, and he liked to take it slow, so he kept his body off to the side. Didn’t want to crowd her.

 

She didn’t seem to notice. Her hands ran over his chest, down to his stomach. She clawed her hands and drug her nails over his skin, not hard enough to break the skin but hard enough to offer a bite.

 

“Told ya before, you don’t play fair.”

 

“You have more experience than I do; I’ve got to take any advantage I can get.”

 

“For a lack of experience, you sure put me to shame. Got me always feel like a fucking teenager around you.” He leaned in and pressed his lips against her neck, kissing across her throat then up to her jaw on the other side.

 

Gage reached one hand between her thighs, running it across her slit, groaning at the wetness already there. He pressed his thumb against her clit though, to make sure she was ready. Fuck knew he never wanted to hurt her.

 

A minute later, Nora’s hips were lifting, her hands having wrapped around his ribs, nails digging in.

 

She bent her knees, pressing them against the outside of his hips, lifting her hips up against him in a silent plea.

 

Gage chuckled and wrapped his hand around his own cock, dragging it against her cunt, watching her carefully. No fear, no worry. She jerked when his cock brushed her clit, but the only other thing she did was lift her hips to try to force him into her.

 

Greedy girl. He fucking loved it.

 

He pressed forward, sinking into her heat, slow. She released something between a whimper and a moan. It felt good to be in control, he had to admit. Yeah, they needed to do things the other way for her, he got that, he was fine with that, but he loved this. It felt like claiming her, like having something special.

 

Once he’d pushed all the way in, he waited, sucking in a deep breath while telling his body to fuck off with its demands. It wanted to shove fast, to fuck her as hard as he wanted to, but that was not happening any time soon, if ever.

 

Nora lifted her hips again, using the leg she’d wrapped around him to pull him closer.

 

“Demanding thing, ain’t ya?” He bit down softly on her lip before giving her what she wanted. He slid back, then thrust back in. Deep, slow thrusts that have him pulling almost all the way out before sliding home again.

 

She writhed beneath him, eyes closed, lost to the feeling of him in her. Best thing he’d ever fucking seen.

 

He started to lose himself in the rhythm, and injured arm grew weary. He let his weight settle against her more, dropping down.

 

And that’s when she froze.

 

Like a fucking gunshot, she went from passionate to terrified. Hands lifted, shoving at his chest in frantic moves. Her nails caught his cheek as he pulled out, then rolled off her.

 

Nora yanked away, her breath thundering in a way that had nothing to do with want.

 

Wetness tracked down his face, and he wiped it with the back of his hand. It came away with blood on it. Fuck it, didn’t matter. “Breathe, sweetheart.” Fuck, he was always saying that, wasn’t he? He needed to be better at knowing what to say. “It’s just me.”

 

Nora stumbled off the bed, collapsing back into a chair, leaning forward. She drug her hands through her hair in a rough move that probably pulled at least a few strands. Her head hung forward then and she shook. Fat tear drops splattered against the floor.

 

Gage yanked on his pants, figuring him naked wasn’t gonna do a thing to help this. He crouched down in front of her but didn’t touch her. Didn’t know if that would help or make it all fucking worse. He’d already fucked this up, didn’t need to make it worse. “Just me, honey. You’re here, safe.”

 

“It’s not fair,” she whispered.

 

“What’s not?”

 

“We had sex. I said I loved you. I’m supposed to be better. This is all supposed to be behind me. I’m supposed to be able to do this.” She still didn’t look at him, and more tears joined the wet circle beneath her.

 

“Remember what I told you already? You got scars that ain’t never going to go away completely. It’s just how we are. I took a knife, here.” Gage pointed at his thigh. “Healed up well enough, but when it rains? It still fucking hurts. I know it feels like you and I have been doing this a while, but this new. Wasn’t that long ago you were still being hurt. Gonna take a lot fucking longer than a couple months for your body to start realizing it’s safe.”

 

“I want to be better. I want to feel you on top of me, like it’s supposed to be.”

 

Gage reached out and used a single finger beneath her chin until she met his gaze. “There’s no supposed to be.”

 

“It’s not fair to you to have to put up with this. I should be able to do this.”

 

He laughed and shook his head. “I don’t fucking care if we never do this like that. If me being on top of you makes you panic, then we never fucking do that, and that’s fine with me. Can’t think it’s that big a problem to get to see you on top of me.”

 

She shook her head, then rubbed her cheek against his hand, smearing the tears onto his skin. “It’s just not fair. Nate took so fucking much and he’s between us now, and I hate that.”

 

“He ain’t between us. He’s never gonna be able to get between us. Nothing he could do could pull us apart. And we’ll deal with him, don’t you worry. But, us? We’re good, no matter what. He can’t do fuck all to screw with us."

 

Nora reached a hand up but stopped before she touched his bleeding cheek. "I hurt you."

 

"Just a scratch, honey, nothing to worry about. Come on, would you? Come to bed.”

 

Nora stared at the bed like it was a deathclaw waiting to grab her.

 

“Nah, sweetheart, not for that. We ain’t gonna to a thing but lay there. Maybe let me hold you if you think it’ll help? Some sleep and tomorrow will be better. You'll see, it'll be better.” He held his hand out and waited.

 

After a moment, she set her hand in his, and he pulled her to her feet. They moved to the bed, him taking the side by the wall, giving her enough room to not touch him at all. She took her spot, but after a minute she’d rolled to her side and scooted back until her back pressed against his chest.

 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered so soft he almost didn’t catch it over the whir of the generators outside.

 

“Ain’t nothing to be sorry for. Close those eyes and get some sleep.”

 

They both ignored the tears that fell from her eyes, the ones that drenched her pillow and broke his heart.

 

Nate better fucking enjoy his time, because Gage would take him apart the moment he found him.

 


	32. Chapter 32

 

Sweat poured down Nora’s back, running between her shoulder blades, causing the vault suit to stick to her. The power armor hissed and clanked as she walked, but the green was starting to disappear.

 

“How you feeling, sweetheart?” Gage had made her take rad-x throughout the trip to prevent a repeat of their last time, and so far, it seemed to be working. She was tired, sweaty, and a little sick, but not nearly as bad as before.

 

“Can’t wait for this to be over, but I’m okay.”

 

“Look, why don’t stop soon? We’ll get the schematics to Dez tomorrow. Passing out on the trip ain’t gonna make it go any faster.”

 

Nora wanted to argue, but he was right. They’d already mostly worked through one night, getting only a couple of hours at Virgil’s before heading back. Her son was so close, though, it was hard to stop, hard to wait. She wanted to create the teleporter, to get to the Institute, to get her son. Rushing it wouldn’t do any of that, though, it would only end up with her over stretching herself and maybe dying. So, she gave in. “Alright. Let’s see. Sunshine Tidings? They’d got a few houses so you shouldn’t have to deal with ‘em too much.”

 

“Good. Settlers make me nervous. They’re easy pickings for raiders and I don’t like to get caught up in that.”

 

“You know, maybe you could help me sometime.”

 

“With what?”

 

“With getting the settlements on better footing. No one understands what they’re lacking better than you. Help me teach them what they need to do to defend themselves, how to set up the settlement defenses. You could make it so they didn’t even need the minutemen to come save them all the time.”

 

Gage didn’t say anything back right away. After a few minutes, he picked up the topic like it hadn’t ever stopped. “Settlers bring heartache. They never learn and if you help ‘em, you just end up having to bury ‘em later.”

 

“Well, think about it at least, okay?”

 

“Yeah, okay.”

 

Gage was wandering and she knew it. He needed something to work at, something to do. She understood his past, his hesitation with settlers, with farmers, but he could do some good. Doing some good might help work out the regret she felt from him, the way he looked back over his life in disgust. He’d worked so hard to not lose anything again, to not be screwed over, and yet his life as a raider had done little else to him.

 

But he had to reach that decision on his own. She’d never push him.

 

They reached the outskirts of Sunshine Tidings after another hour. They secured the power armor in a shed before heading the small house the settlers had given them for the night.

 

Hell, it seemed like every settlement had a place just for her, just in case she stopped in.

 

Nora dropped her stuff then rolled her arms, trying to ease the ache from the long trip. She and Gage had been strained since the morning when she’d panicked.

 

She just couldn’t get it out of her head. She’d wanted things to be perfect, to be right. She wanted to just be normal, and when it didn’t happen, she’d lost it. Would she ever really heal? Would this ever not be between them?

 

Sometimes she wondered if it was all worth it. How fair was it for Gage to have to put up with this all? To have to suffer through her wounds and scars and all the bullshit that rattled around in her head from Nate?

 

Gage deserved someone a lot better than her. Someone he didn’t have to gentle himself for, someone who could do everything he wanted, someone less fragile. He was a good man even if he didn’t see it himself, and fate had sure screwed him by landing him with someone like her as a mate.

 

As if he could read the thought right out of her head, Gage pressed a kiss to her cheek and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against his chest in a tight hug. “Don’t know what’s going on in that head of yours, but I know it ain’t good.”

 

“You shouldn’t have to deal with me.”

 

Gage pulled away and released a soft laugh. “Ah, sweetheart, you can be stupid, you know that? You ain’t a problem, you’re the only thing worth a damn in my life. Before you, I lived in a theme park, waiting for one of the raiders to get sick of me and gut me while I slept. Can’t say this isn’t a hell of a step up.”

 

“But-“

 

“-But nothing. Get the idea that I’d be better off without you right out of your head, you got it?”

 

She frowned, but when he cocked up an eyebrow, she grinned. “Okay, I got it.”

 

Any show of annoyance from Nate would send her running, but she finally had started to get the fact that Gage wasn’t Nate. She could annoy him, she could piss him off, and he wasn’t going to haul off and hit her. He wasn’t going to use his size and strength against her. It had her relaxing around him, able to joke and play with him.

 

“Good. Now, let’s eat and then get off our feet because my legs are fucking tired.”

 

“Sounds good.” Nora offer a kiss like an apology before reaching to pull open the door.

 

Something flew at her face, striking her hard in the temple and knocking her to the ground. She rolled over, but her vision flickered in and out. Dark spots appeared before her, lining her sight.

 

Everything went black.

 

#

 

Gage took a step forward but the man who had struck Nora pointed the rifle at him. She hadn't moved after hitting the floor, and everything in him wanted to go forward, to check on her. He knew better though, the man with the gun could kill 'em both easy. Had to do this smart. 

 

"Stay right there. I can kill you both before you can get get close."

 

"And just who the fuck are you, huh?"

 

The man grinned, flashing flawless, white teeth. "I'm Nate, Nora's real mate." 

 

 


	33. Chapter 33

 

Nate looked like a fucking poster child for perfection. He didn’t have a scratch on him, no dirt, nothing. His black hair was slicked back, nothing out of place. An orange jumpsuit showed off a lean but strong body, tall as Gage was but less muscle, the sort of body made for quick work.

 

“So, you’re the dickless asshole who terrorized her.” Gage forced himself to stay still even when everything in him wanted to strangle Nate. Finally, a fucking face to go along with the monster.

 

“Is that what she told you? She is dramatic. Nora never understood the world, not really. She lived in a fantasy where mates were some cosmic gift, some happily ever after story. But us? We’re men, and we know that isn’t true. Mates are basic biology, the same biology that made us bigger and stronger and more aggressive. Biology decided we’re in charge. Nora would have had an easy life if she’d just realized that and given in. It never needed to go the way it did.”

 

“Only a weak man needs to use his strength to get what he wants from a woman.”

 

Nate laughed. “A man doesn’t get scars like those by not using his strength, so don’t try to fool me. You can tell Nora whatever lies you want, but I know you, I know the kind of man you are. I can see right through you. Not that it matters, really. I don’t care who you are or what you’re like. I’ll have Nora back soon enough.”

 

“You ain’t never touching her again.”

 

“I will.” Nate leaned down, and when Gage took a step forward, Nate pressed the gun against Nora’s temple. “Stay right where you are. I don’t want to have to kill her, but I will if I have to.”

 

Would he? Gage was pretty fucking sure it was a lie, but he wasn’t about to risk her life to test it out. Bide your time, wait for an opening. “What do you want?”

 

Nate ran his fingers over her cheek, dipping into the blood from a wound on her head where he’d hit her. It smeared the blood over her face. “She’s beautiful, isn’t she? I used to think it was just the bond that made me think so, but even without that, she’s beautiful. Especially in this world, full of irradiated filth.”

 

“Get to the point, fucker.”

 

“I’m not going to kill you. Not today. Well, unless you do something incredibly stupid that forces my hand. Killing you would risk her bond jumping to someone else, meaning I’d have to find that person when the time was right. I can’t do that until Haylen has been dealt with. Not to mention, you’ve proven yourself useful. You’ve kept her alive. I know her, and I know how hard that can be. She’s stubborn, refuses to listen.”

 

“You gonna stand there and bullshit all day?”

 

“I want the schematics.”

 

Fuck. How’d he even know about those?

 

Nate rubbed his finger across her lips, even as Nora’s eyebrows pulled together like she was starting to wake up, like just the touch of her former mate made her want to crawl away. “I’ve been following you two. Nora admitted to me she knew where Shaun was, so I figured, why rewalk paths she’s always walked? After you left Virgil’s, I went and had a chat with him. He told me he’d given you the schematics for a transporter. Well, he told me after a little while. Don’t bother returning to him, you won’t find enough of him to help you. I require those schematics, now.”

 

“Fuck you. I ain’t giving you shit.”

 

Nate wrapped his fingers around Nora’s throat. “Yes, you will. What use will those be if she’s dead? There is no way you’ll allow her to be hurt just for some schematics to help find a kid that isn’t even yours.”

 

“Shaun is hers, which makes him mine, too. I’ll do anything to keep ‘em both safe from you.”

 

Nate tightened his grip on Nora’s throat. It seemed to wake her up, because her hands came up and wrapped around his wrist. “All I want are the schematics. You give me those, I’ll walk out of here. Our time will come soon enough, but not just yet. I want Nora, yes, but if she has to die,” Nate shrugged and cranked his grip down more. “Well, I have Haylen, don’t I?”

 

Gage’s lips pulled back in frustration before lifting his hands. “Fine. Stop. I’ll get them.”

 

“Get them first, and I suggest you hurry. I tried to teach her to hold her breath but she’s never been any good at it.”

 

Rage consumed Gage at the implications of that comment, but he kept it in check as he pulled the schematics from the pack on the table. He threw them to Nate who released his grip on Nora.

 

Nora rolled over onto all four, coughing. “You asshole!”

 

“Well, at least I know where you got this new language from now. We’ll have to see what we can do about that, won’t we? Not that I mind, I like training you. Sadly, it isn’t time for that. I have to go get Shaun.”

 

“You leave my son alone.”

 

Nate laughed as he tucked the papers into the pocket of his jumpsuit. “I told you once, Nora, just relax. Stop fighting this all. Why waste so much energy to chase this? I’ll handle it, like I handle everything. I’ll go get Shaun, then come back for you. And, Gage, if you keep her safe, I’ll make sure your death is quick.”

 

Nora laughed, an almost deranged cackle, harsh from the damage on her throat. “You’re a fool.”

 

Rage crossed Nate’s face, but even when Nora met that rage, she didn’t back down. Nate reached down and wrapped his fingers in Nora’s hair, yanking her to her feet and tilting her head back. “I am no fool. You’re a silly little girl who is playing with things so above where you are. You’re going to get yourself hurt.”

 

“I took the gun Kellogg used to shoot you with after I killed him.”

 

“How sweet. Mourning me?”

 

“No. I wanted to frame it, hang it above the bed and toast to it every fucking night as the gun that killed you.”

 

Nate tossed her against the wall, and she slammed into it hard. “Lofty dreams you have, and a vicious streak I’m not used to. Too bad your plan didn’t work out, since the gun didn’t kill me.”

 

Nora grinned, then pulled Kellogg’s gun from beneath her jacket. “Not yet.” She squeezed the trigger, her arm shaking, unsteady, so the bullet struck Nate in the arm.

 

He pulled back, stumbling from the shack. A crash outside said he’d shoved something across the door, preventing them from following.

 

Nora threw her body at the door like she could get out on her own. “I could have fucking killed him! Everything’s blurry, though I can’t see shit.”

 

“That hit to your head probably gave you a concussion.” Gage shook his head and pulled a stimpack, administering it even as she pounded on the door. The sound of a vertibird taking off told him what he already knew. Nate had gotten away, again.

 

“He took the schematics.” She sighed and sat on the bed. “It’s always a step forward and two back, isn’t it?”

 

“Seems like it sometimes. But, hey, he didn’t get shit on his own. Who says he’ll even figure out how to make that thing? He hasn’t been able to figure anything else out. We'll talk to the Railroad, we'll talk to the Minutemen. We’ll figure this out, sweetheart. We’ll find Shaun, and we’ll keep him safe from Nate. I promise.”

 

She leaned into him, but she didn’t seem to believe him.

 

Fuck, right then, he wasn’t sure he believed him either.

 


	34. Chapter 34

 

“You can’t walk in there acting crazy,” Gage said for the hundredth time in their walk from HQ.

 

“For once I agree with the raider.” Deacon jogged to keep up.

 

“You’re not helping, Deacon.”

 

Deacon stopped and frowned. “Did you really expect me to? Honestly?”

 

Nora tried to ignore them both as they neared the airport. Neither had been a fan of this plan, but she was tired of dancing around each other. “Then you two can stay out here. But Nate took my schematics, and the only person who has a chance of telling him what to do is up there.”

 

“Right, we’re really going to let you wander onto the Prydwen alone. Sure, Fixer. Remember my first rule?”

 

“It was about snacks.”

 

“Was it? Damn it. I need an assistant to write these down. Well, somewhere in it was that you don’t go into enemy territory alone.”

 

Nora turned around to walk backwards. “You do that all the time.”

 

“That’s right, because I said you don’t do it, not that I don’t. Whatever, let’s do this. Blaze of glory and all that. I’ve lived long enough.”

 

Gage took her arm and pulled her to a stop. “Look, just be careful, okay? We’re walking into the middle of a lot of enemies. If we get killed there won’t be anyone to take care of Shaun.”

 

“I’ll be careful. Promise.” They both recognized the lie. Nora was a hell of a ways past careful.

 

#

 

Maxson turned to face the three, his hands folded behind his back. He cocked up an eyebrow. “Nice to see you again, General. Are you here for more negotiating?”

 

Gage got his first look at the Elder, and realized what a fucking kid he was. The beard didn’t do shit for making him look older, and neither did his battlecoat. This was the enemy? Pathetic.

 

“I’m here to talk about Knight Cooper.” Nora took a step closer. She still had to look up into Maxson’s face, but she kept her back straight, chin raised.

 

Gage grinned. Looked like a fucking kitten staring down a mutt, but he’d bet on that kitten any day.

 

“I received a report from Paladin Danse about the matter. Knight Cooper denied any misconduct, and since there is no proof, there’s nothing that can be done. We are talking about allegations from two hundred years ago.”

 

“And what about Haylen?”

 

“I personally spoke to Field Scribe Haylen. She denied that Knight Cooper has every harmed her. I am not about the separate mates on the word of someone I don’t know over something that happened two centuries ago. Is that the only reason you’re here? Because if it is, you’ve wasted both our time.”

 

Nora’s jaw ticked, and Gage got ready to grab her. She sucked in a breath and released it in a slow measure. “Nate stole something from me.”

 

“The schematics for the transporter. Yes, he did a good job on that mission.”

 

“Is that what you all do here? Steal shit from those of us with the ability to actually get them?”

 

Maxson narrowed his eyes. “Watch your words, General.”

 

Nora pointed a finger at him. “No, you watch yourself, Elder. Your precious golden child Nate couldn’t figure out shit for himself, so he stole it like a fucking coward. You want to see what he’s done in the last two hundred year? How about this?” She yanked down the collar of her vault suit that still showed Nate’s finger sized bruises. “That’s who you’re protecting. And let me tell you, you’re betting on the wrong horse on this one.”

 

“Even if I don’t care for his methods, he completed his mission. He brought back the way to get into the Institute. He has gotten results for us time and time again.”

 

“He doesn’t give a shit about you or what you want. He’s using you to get what he wants.”

 

“And for now, at least, our wants are one in the same. We both wanted into the Institute. Nate secured the ability to do so, and has already made it in. It makes us allies if nothing else.”

 

"He's already there?" Nora's lips thinned as she pressed them together.

 

"Yes, he is. So if you were planning on beating him there, you've already failed." 

 

Nora took another deep breath, like she was centering herself, then opened her hands before pulling them tight. “It’s going to come down to him against me in the end of this. Are you sure you’re on the right side of it?”

 

Maxson jerked his gaze out of the window, to look over the commonwealth. “Will you truly allow a lover’s spat to throw this land into chaos? Will the two of you tear the Commonwealth apart all because of your own personal little fight?”

 

Nora moved between Maxson and the window so he had to look at her again. “I will burn this whole place if it gets me my child. Any parent would. This isn’t a line you can walk for much longer, Elder. Decide carefully which side you want dig in on. And think it through, because if you pick the wrong side, I’ll burn you, too.”

 

Maxson leaned into Nora’s face. “Don’t threaten me, General. I’m a soldier forged by a lifetime of war. What are you that you think you can stand against that?”

 

Nora walked toward the door, pausing to speak over her shoulder. “Pick the right side and you won’t need to find out.”

 

They reached the vertibird before someone’s voice had Nora pausing. Gage and Deacon both stood between her and the man who ran up. “General Jacobs?”

 

“Yes. What do you want?”

 

“My name is Knight-Captain Cade, the doctor for the ship.” He said nothing else, just stood for a moment.

 

“Okay. Just a warning, brotherhood aren’t my favorite people right now, so if you’re here to make friends, you’re barking up the wrong tree.”

 

“Were you telling the truth about Scribe Haylen and Knight Cooper?”

 

“Yes. Cooper admitted to me that he was hurting her, and when asked, she turned white as a fucking sheet. She’s terrified of him, too scared to admit anything.”

 

Cade ran a hand over his head. “Here. Please, give this to her. It’s the only way I can help.” He handed three vials of medication.

 

“What’s this?”

 

“It’s something I’ve been working on for soldiers in the field with mates. It will help with the pain and discomfort that comes from being away from one’s mate. It won’t eliminate them, but it does ease them. With this, she can run. Hopefully, Cooper is too distracted with other things to go after her. I wish I could do more, but Maxson doesn’t listen to reason when it comes to mates. He feels that the next generation of brotherhood matters more than anything else. Our ranks will never increase if we don’t have more children.”

 

“How long will this last?”

 

“Each dose will last about a week. I’ll have more dropped off by a patrol in a mailbox outside of Goodneighbor for her. I’m sorry this is all I can do.”

 

Nora tucked the serum into her pack. “This is amazing, thank you. As someone who knows what it feels like to be trapped, I can tell you that this is a lot. This is freedom, this is a chance. I’ll make sure she gets it.”

 

#

 

Nora stood across from Danse in the small room in the police station. Gage stood behind her, with Deacon leaning against a far wall, keeping his gaze anywhere but on the people in the room. “Maxson won’t do anything. I talked to him and he won’t protect Haylen.”

 

Haylen sat in a chair by the desk, curling in on herself. “I can’t leave.”

 

Nora knelt in front of the chair. She set a hand on Haylen’s knee. “I’ve been where you are. I know how you feel. Nate did this to me for years before I could do anything, and it eats away at you. Every day, every hit, it chips away your insides. I didn’t have anyone to help me then, but you do.” Nora held up the serum. “This will take care of the need for contact. Cade gave them to me for you, for you to get away. I can smuggle you anywhere in the commonwealth, hide you in any settlement, keep you moving.”

 

Gage spoke up from behind her. “I’ve got a friend in Nuka World, not one of the raiders, more of an information man. He’s trustworthy, and it’ll give you a good distance between you and Nate and a hell of a buffer. Nothing deters a man like three different raider gangs.”

 

Deacon chimed in, too. “I’ve got friends from here to the Capital Wasteland and a way further than that. I can get you anywhere you want to go.”

 

“What if he finds me? He said if I ran away he’d. . .” her voice trailed off.

 

This time Danse knelt, out of his power armor for once. It made him look so much smaller, or maybe it was the helplessness on his face that made him seem like it. He took Haylen’s hands in his. “I’m going with you, Haylen. I wouldn’t let you do this on your own.”

 

“You love the Brotherhood, you can’t just run away. It’s your whole life.”

 

“If the Brotherhood will allow this to happen to you, then they aren’t what I thought they were. We’ll leave together, go to Bravo Listening Post, and I promise I won’t leave you. He won’t get anywhere close to you. I should have seen this sooner, should have put a stop to it sooner. Let me make that up to you, please.”

 

Haylen stared down at where Danse touched her, and he released the grip like he worried she might not want his touch.

 

And, damn it, Nora knew that feeling. It broke her heart to see Haylen live it, just like she had.

 

“I don’t know,” Haylen whispered, fear lacing her words.

 

Deacon pushed off the wall, walking closer. He had those tension lines he got around his mouth when he wasn’t happy, but was busy playing his part. Nora had gotten better at reading him, and he was pissed as soon as he’d seen Haylen. He’d leaned against that wall and fumed behind his sunglasses.

 

He cupped Haylen’s chin and lifted her gaze to his. The touch surprised Nora, because in her experience Deacon wasn’t big on much contact. “Do you want to die?”

 

She shook her head but didn’t pull away.

 

“Because that’s what he’s gonna do to you. The moment he thinks you’ve run out of usefulness, he’s going to kill you. So, decide if you want to live or not, because that makes this an easy choice.”

 

Danse knocked Deacon’s hand away. “Don’t touch her.” He stood up, ready to fight with Deacon.

 

Instead, Haylen’s soft voice quieted the two men, had them turning to face her. “How long will I need to hide?”

 

Finally, an answer Nora could give. “Only until I can kill him. I’m hoping that won’t be long.”

 

Haylen nodded. “Okay. I’ll go.”

 

The first good news she’d had. At least Haylen would be safe.


	35. Chapter 35

 

Nora sat in the backyard of her old house, or at least the burned rubble that still sat like a Viking funeral where the house had once been. She liked looking at it, remembering the heat as it all burned away. Best thing she’d done in a while.

 

Gage was off cleaning his weapons, leaving Nora and Deacon to sit and drink. She loved spending time with Gage, but some time on her own helped, too. It reminded her that she could handle things on her own, that she wasn’t just someone’s mate, that she was a person.

 

“So, what do we do now?” Nora rubbed the bottle across her head, thankful the ice machine they’d gotten working managed to bring the beer to cold. She’d give Sturges anything for that miracle.

 

“Hell if I know. Talked to Dez, but Nate was right. No sign of Virgil, but a lot of blood. I’m thinking something crawled into his cave after the defenses were destroyed and ate whatever was left.”

 

“Lovely thought. Guess that means I don’t need to get him his serum.”

 

“You could get it anyway. I wonder what Strong looked like human. I bet he was a little old man. We’ll sneak up on him when he’s not looking and inject it.”

 

Nora kicked Deacon’s chair. “You’re less helpful than you first promised to be.”

 

“I never promised such a thing. That would be a lie, and we all know I never lie.”

 

“Right. Sure.” Nora rolled her eyes and took another drink.

 

“Do you think Haylen is okay?” Deacon asked the question while peeling at the old label of the bottle, not looking at her in a very purposeful way.

 

“No, not really. I’ve been there, and I know what she’s going through, and it takes a lot of time to get your footing again. But, Danse is there, and he cares about her a lot. That’ll help.”

 

“But she’s safe, right? Danse can handle security for her, can’t he? Nate won’t be able to get past Danse I don’t think. I’m going to pick up the serum in a couple weeks and deliver it for her, if she still needs it by then, but you think she’s safe, don’t you?”

 

Nora lifted an eyebrow. “What’s with the question, D? You aren’t usually the type to ask so many questions.”

 

“What are you talking about? I ask questions all the time. My whole life is information.”

 

“Yeah, information that can help you. Why do you care about Haylen? Don’t think I missed whatever that moment was between the two of you in that room.”

 

“No idea what you’re talking about Fixer. Conversation is over. Back on topic. How do we deal with Nate?” Deacon’s face hardened, telling Nora that they weren’t going any further down that path.

 

And wasn’t that a pity for Deacon. Haylen may not be Danse’s mate, but the two of them had some sort of bond. There wasn’t a chance for Deacon between those two. That situation had heartbreak written all over it.

 

Nora let that topic drop. She had enough depressing things in her life without adding someone else’s love triangle to it. “We could figure out where Nate built the transporter and try to use it again.”

 

“Nah. From what I’ve seen of the Institute, there’s no way they’ll let that security breach happen a second time. But, hey, buck up. Maybe he’s dead!”

 

Nora pressed her lips together and glared.

 

“Not one for the silver lining, huh? Fine, maybe he’s alive. Better?” Deacon narrowed his eyes over Nora’s shoulder. “Alive and right behind you.”

 

“Funny.”

 

Deacon was up and off his chair in a heartbeat, and Nora knew that face. It wasn’t the face of a man making a joke. She jumped up and turned to find Nate standing there, hands up.

 

“Do you want to see Shaun? Because I’ve found him.”

 

“I should just kill you right now and be done with it.”

 

“But then you’ll never get into the Institute and you’ll never find him. Is your petty revenge worth more to you than your son?”

 

Nora stood between the two men, and none of them were armed. She hadn’t figured they’d need to be inside Sanctuary. How had he bypassed their turrets and walls?

 

“This isn’t smart,” Deacon said. “It could be a trap. Maybe he realized your son wasn’t there and now he’s just trying to grab you.”

 

Nate held his hand out. “Are you going to risk it, Nora? Are you going to let fear control you and make you lose the chance to see your son? Because I know where he is, I’ve met him. He wants to see his Mom.”

 

The words dug into Nora’s chest, the imagine of her little boy crying, alone, wanting his mother. She took a step toward Nate even as it turned her stomach.

 

It could be a trap. She wouldn’t put him past trying to trick her. She wasn’t stupid enough to think it was beneath him, but she didn’t care. Trap or not, it was her only chance.

 

“You said we didn’t have any other options, D. I have to go. Tell Gage I’m sorry, and that I’ll come back. Tell him not to worry, and that I love him.”

 

Something passed Nate’s eyes, a rage he was trying to hide. So he didn’t like that? Didn’t like her saying she loved Gage. Too fucking bad for him, she’d dig that little fact in every chance she got.

 

“Seriously, this is not good. You go with him, and Gage will skin me alive, and I like this skin. Just take a few steps backward toward me.” Deacon’s voice had thinned.

 

Nora took another step forward.

 

“Wrong direction, Nora. Do we need to draw you a fucking diagram?” Deacon’s curse made her grin. He wasn’t one for cursing much, and his stress bled through it.

 

“What would you do if it was your child, D? Could you just walk away if it was your child?”

 

He said nothing, so Nora walked the last few steps until she was just in front of Nate.

 

“This doesn’t change anything, Nate. I’ll still kill you, and if this is a trap? You’ll figure out you can’t hold me anymore.”

 

“This isn’t a trap. It’s a gift. You should say thank you.”

 

“Fuck you.”

 

Nate laughed and reached out, latching onto Nora’s arm and twisting her around so her back pressed against his chest. The contact made her stomach roll, and for a moment she was afraid she was about to throw up.

 

Then Gage rounded the corner of the next building, eyes wide. He lifted his gun, but he had no shot, not with Nora in front of Nate. “Let her go, asshole.”

 

“She’s going to be with her family, a place you’ll never fit into. And as soon as my business with her is done, I’ll find Haylen, get rid of her, then kill you. I do so love to win.”

 

Nate hit a button on his pipboy and everything went white.


	36. Chapter 36

 

Gage paced the house he and Nora had been staying in, Deacon sitting in the chair like his unwanted roommate. “How could she just leave?”

 

“It was for her kid. You can’t really blame her for that. We were coming up empty with ideas.”

 

“What are you even doing here?”

 

“Helping.”

 

“You’re not helping me.”

 

Deacon reached into Nora’s nightstand and took out a piece of jerky. “I said I was helping, I never said I was helping you.”

 

Gage sat on the edge of the bed. “Thanks. You’re a great friend.”

 

“Actually, I am a pretty great friend. Look, I know you’re worried, but at least you have a link with her. You know she’s okay. She’ll be back, okay? Nothing is going to keep her stuck. We’ve just got to sit tight and before you know it, she’s gonna walk back in here, fuming, and then we’ll back her up with whatever crazy idea she comes up with.” Deacon shrugged at took a bite off the jerky. After a minute, Deacon spoke. “How do you deal with the anger?”

 

“What?”

 

“The anger. When you think about what Nate has done to Nora, how do you deal with that? You seem so good with her, so you must not show her just how pissed you are. How do you deal with that?”

 

Gage stared at Deacon for a moment, noting how the spy wouldn’t look directly at him. Gage let out a soft laugh. “So, we talking about Haylen, ain’t we?”

 

“No. We’re talking hypothetically.”

 

“Ain’t smart enough for hypotheticals.”

 

Deacon sighed. “Fine. Yes, I am talking about her. I just can’t stop thinking about how she looked in that room, so fucking small and scared. I’ve dealt with a lot in my line of work, with synths who are scared, with synths who have been abused, but it’s never really gotten beneath my skin. Yeah, Haylen got under my skin.”

 

Gage nodded, setting an elbow on his knee as he leaned forward. “Yeah, I got plenty of rage about Nate. And every time I think about it? It just eats at me. I want to tear him to pieces for what he put her through. But, I also know that she matters more than that, and she’ll put him down herself. I just gotta be there for her. It ain’t easy, but hell, when she kisses me? I know it’s worth it.”

 

Deacon nodded, leaning back in chair. “You have more patience than I do.”

 

“You think that until you gotta have patience. Amazing what you’re capable of when you have to be. Trust me, you end up with her? You’ll find the patience.” Gage laughed. “Who’d have thought, you did help distract me.”

 

“Don’t tell Nora I was helpful when she gets back. She’ll expect it from me more often.” Deacon gave Gage a grin, then tossed him half the jerky.

 

 

#

 

 

The white blinded her, and when actual colors and shapes started to form again, the churning in her stomach worsened.

 

Everything flickered back into sight and Nora collapsed forward, over a railing, throwing up. Her head throbbed as she heaved, and it occurred to her, she wasn’t sure she’d ever thrown up as much as in the past few months. Seemed everything in this fucking world made her sick.

 

A hand rubbed up and down her back, a gentle comfort, and for a moment, Nora thought it was Gage. Sweet Gage who would hold her hair back and tell her it would be okay. Gage, the only one she’d believe.

 

Then Nate’s voice reminded her where she was, and who she was with. “Breathe through it, Nora. I should have told you to close your eyes, makes transporting easier, but I didn’t think about it. The sickness will pass in a minute.”

 

Nora yanked away from his touch as her breathing evened out. Hell, she wanted to not breathe just to spite him, but passing out probably wouldn’t help her. “Don’t you put your hands on me.”

 

“Hiss and spit all you want, it won’t change a thing. You should learn to take a little kindness when I try to show it. I didn’t bring you here to hurt you, Nora.”

 

She stumbled against the far railing, then backed off when a Gen 2 walked past her with a bucket and rag and began to clean the mess she’d made without a word.

 

Nora shook her head, trying to clear it, to tame the headache, then looked at Nate. “Take me to Shaun, right now.”

 

Nate cocked up an eyebrow, a warning she’d seen many times before. “I didn’t bring you here to hurt you, but do not mistake that for you being in charge. I suggest you start rethinking how you speak to your mate.”

 

Nora jammed a finger into the center of his chest. “Guess what? You aren’t my mate anymore. So you can take your warning and shove it up your-“

 

Nate grabbed her hair and tightened his grip, forcing her face up to meet his. “Choose your words carefully.”

 

Her scalp stung beneath his grip. Nora brought her knee up to nail him in the balls, but he brought his knee in to deflect it. He released his grip on her hair and lifted his hand to backhand her.

 

Nora refused to jerk away, to give him the satisfaction of her cowering. Fuck him, she would never cower again, not from him. He wasn’t worth it. He didn’t deserve the pleasure of knowing he got to her, so she pulled her shoulders back, ready for the strike.

 

Before his hand made contact, a leather covered hand wrapped around his wrist, holding it still. “This behavior is not appropriate, sir.”

 

“Let go of me X6. This isn’t any of your business.”

 

The courser, Nora guessed from his name and his outfit, released his hand, but also scooted Nora back and placed himself between them. “That is where you are mistaken, sir. Father has placed me in charge of her security. I would assume that means keeping her safe from you, as well.”  

 

“Who is Father?” Nora asked. 

 

X6 did not remove his gaze from Nate when he answered. “He is the Director of the Institute, and he requests your presence.”

 

“I’m not going anywhere until I’m taken to see my son.”

 

“This must be done first. All concerns can be addressed with him. This way, ma’am, please.” X6 held his arm out to indicate the direction.

 

Nate took a step, like he was going to go with her.

 

Nora pointed her finger at him. “Come a single step toward me and nothing will keep me from castrating you.”

 

“X6 will stop you.”

 

X6 maneuvered Nora to his other side, keeping them apart. “Actually, I have been instructed to keep Nora safe. You are not part of my mission. You could request your own bodyguard, if you feel threatened by her.”

 

The flash of shock on Nate’s face had Nora laughing, even as X6 placed a hand on the small of her back, moving her away.

 

“You should use caution. He is not stable and could do you great harm.”

 

“You just insulted him. You’re my second favorite synth.”

 

“Second?”

 

“Sorry, but my heart belongs to one in a fedora.”

 

X6 frowned as he walked her up some stairs. “My designation is X6-88. I am assigned to your security for the foreseeable future.”

 

“I don’t need security, but your snark is welcome.”

 

X6 didn’t even smile as he stopped by a door, like her jokes meant nothing to him. “Father is inside. I will remain here if you need anything, ma’am.”

 

Nora took a deep breath, then walked through the doorway to find an older man in a white coat sitting by the desk.

 

He stood. “You must be Nora.”

 

“I’m not here to make friends. Where is my son?”

 

He smiled, a look that softened his face. “You are not much like your mate.”

 

“He isn’t my mate.”

 

“He mentioned that the issues at the vault broke your bond. He came in here offering trade and information. You walk in with threats. I find that interesting.”

 

“I can assure you I’m the one to worry more about.”

 

“Indeed. Well, you can relax. I am not hiding your son from you. It’s me, mother. I’m Shaun.”

 


	37. Chapter 37

 

Nora sat on the bed in her room, the one Shaun had given to her. X6 stood across from her, arms over his chest, looking as bored as he always did, like none of this really mattered to him.

 

The conversation with Father, with. . . Shaun, had not lasted long. He’d suggested she go rest, probably having something to do with how all the color had drained from her face. He’d said she wasn’t a prisoner, that she could leave the following day if she wished. She knew the basics, that he'd grown up here, that he felt he'd had a good life. 

 

A life she'd missed all of. 

 

Maybe she should have told him about Nate, but she just couldn’t. He’d mention Nate, calling him his father, and even in his aged face he’d lit up. He’d had his parents stolen from him, and she had trouble stealing away the image he had of his father.

 

Every child wanted to think their parents were perfect, that they came from good stock. Nora couldn’t take that from Shaun, not after he’d lost so much.

 

“Are you all right, ma’am?”

 

“He’s an old man.” Her voice came out a whisper. “The last time I saw my son he was an infant, and I missed his whole life. I don’t even know him.”

 

“Ah, this is one of those human emotional turmoil things, is it not?” X6 walked over and set a hand on her back, stroking slowly, mechanically, like he’d been told how to do it. “It is okay. You will feel better soon.”

 

Nora started to laugh at the absurdity of the moment. Her life had led her there, to letting a courser offer her forced sympathy.

 

“And to think my last trainer failed me on human empathy.” X6 patted her once, hard enough she winced, then stepped back. “Do you require anything else before I retire?”

 

“No, I think you’ve done quite enough.”

 

X6 nodded, then paused by the controls on beside the door. “You can lock the door from here, and you can summon me as well, should you require anything. I’ll see you in the morning. Sleep well, ma’am.”

 

#

 

Four hours later, Nora hurt. She laid in the bed, turning, trying to ignore the aches that ran through her. Throughout the day, her skin had started to crawl. She recognized the sensation, knew it would only get worse without Gage.

 

By morning she’d be shaking. The trembling had already started in her hands.

 

“You're hurting?” Nate’s voice had Nora jerking upright and scooting backward. He stood in her room, back against the door. How had she not heard him enter?

 

“Fuck you. Get out.”

 

Nate laughed and pulled a chair over so he could sit in front of the bed. “Your hands are shaking. I figured that by this point, without Gage, you’d be starting to hurt.”

 

“So you’re here to watch? Still get off on seeing me hurt, huh?”

 

He leaned forward and tilted his head, and for a moment she forgot where she was. He looked like he had during their whole marriage, and she felt like the same woman she’d been. “No. Believe it or not, I don’t care to see you suffering.” Nate set a syringe of the same stuff Cade had given her for Haylen on the bed.

 

“This is the serum so mates don’t require contact.”

 

Nate laughed softly. “The fact you know that tells me you’ve been given some for Haylen. Cade has always been too soft. No wonder she ran off. Not that it matters, I can find her anytime I want. Yes, that is exactly what it is.”

 

“Why are you giving it to me?”

 

“Because I don’t want you hurting. Shaun is allowing you to leave tomorrow, and if you require your mate at that point, you will leave. I am hoping that, perhaps, you’ll choose to stay. This is an attempt to show you I can change. To make you realize, maybe things could be different.”

 

Nora picked up the syringe, but her hands shook too much. The needle fell from her hands, and Nate caught it before it hit the ground.

 

“Need some help?”

 

“Fuck-“

 

“-Fuck me. I know. Come on, I inject this and you’ll feel better. Do you think your mate would want you to hurt for no reason? Remember, he can feel it, too. So every minute you let this continue, he feels it.”

 

She hated how he twisted things, how she started to question her own thoughts. Even when she knew better, though, she started to believe him. She didn’t want Gage to suffer, or to worry about her.

 

Nora held her arm out, flinching when he wrapped his fingers around her arm. It made her breathing speed up, made her want to pull away. But, she couldn't force Gage to suffer.

 

“Relax, Nora.” His voice was soft, his thumb rubbing against her skin like he could soothe her. He pressed the needle into her arm and injected the serum, then stroked his other hand against the injection site. “There. The pain should ease off. It won’t be gone entirely, but it will be more manageable.”

 

Nora’s head started to fuzz, like she’d drank a couple beers. “Did you drug me?”

 

“What? No. Oh, I assumed Cade would have told you about this serum. It works for about a week, but because it is made with med-x, you’ll feel intoxicated for the first few hours of taking it.”

 

“And you just forgot to mention that? Right. Nice fucking try.” She threw his touch off her and tried to get to her feet, but her legs wouldn’t hold her.

 

Nate caught her when she stumbled. “Easy there.” He settled her into the bed and crawled in beside her. He stroked his hand over her face. “So you know about Shaun?”

 

“I guess all this was for nothing, huh? Never had a shot at saving him.”

 

“Maybe not, but this place, you have to admit it has potential. He’s built something amazing.”

 

“You don’t even really care about Shaun, do you? You just want to use what he made. Do you care about anything?”

 

“I care about you. Shaun is going to make me Director after him. This place will all be mine.” Nate pressed his hand to her lower stomach. “They have the ability here to do IVF again. We could start over here, Nora. We could create a real family here, a real home.”

 

“Don’t touch me.” The words slurred and Nora’s attempt to bat his hand away did nothing.

 

Nate leaned in and brushed his lips against hers. “Shhh, Nora. It’s fine. I’m not doing anything, just laying here with you. I’ve missed you, you know. Think about what I’ve said, will you? We could be happy. I could make you happy, here, with me, with another child. We'll talk about it in the morning, and you'll see. You'll realize that we could do this. Close your eyes, sweetheart. I'll watch over you while you sleep.”

 

She wanted to say something else, to shove him away. Nothing had ever made her feel less safe than his offer. She’d heard his lies when he’d first met her, the way he’d promised her the world. If he couldn’t use fear to get what he wanted, he’d use manipulation. He’d trade or steal or lie to get what he wanted. She had to remember that, couldn’t let herself forget it for even a second.

 

The serum drug her toward unconsciousness, leaving her at the mercy of a man she knew had none.

 


	38. Chapter 38

 

Nora woke to a body behind her. She snuggled back against it, seeking Gage’s warmth. An arm wrapped around her, and had her frowning.

 

The arm was thinner, smoother. The hand pressed against her stomach, the long, tapered fingers confusing her. That wasn’t Gage’s hand. It lacked the scars over the knuckles, the tiny white lines that showed he’d hit a lot of things in his life.

 

“Morning, Nora.” Nate’s voice reminded her of it all, of where she was and what had happened the night before.

 

She offered him a good morning in the form of an elbow to his face. The crunch went a long way to soothe her anger at his behavior. He hadn’t been able to even brace for the hit.

 

He yanked away, then rolled over, pinning her. Blood dripped from his nose, dropping down onto her face. She’d gotten him good. Hell, she was pretty sure she’d broken his nose.

 

“I tried to be nice to you, but you don’t understand nice, do you?” He shoved his grip on her arms down, making her bounce against the mattress. “This is why you always got hurt, why you always made me hurt you, you know that? Because you refuse to use good sense. Because no matter how nice I am, you still fight with me. You still behave like this.”

 

“You hurt me because you liked doing it. Because you’re a pathetic man who is terrified of everything he can’t control. Don’t try to pretend like it was my fault.”

 

“It was your fault. You knew exactly how to push my buttons and you did it every chance you got. This morning? This didn’t need to happen. You could have rolled over, given me a kiss, and we could have started our day. You decided for it to go this way.”

 

“You don’t get to decide how I react! You don’t own me; I don’t have to do things the way you want. This is exactly why I never have, and never will, love you.”

 

“But you love Gage?” He sneered out the name, full of every bit of contempt he could manage.

 

“That’s right, I do love him.”

 

One of Nate’s hands grabbed her face, forcing her to look at him. “Tell me you love me.”

 

“No.”

 

His fingers dug into her cheeks. “Tell me you love me, now.”

 

“Fuck you.”

 

The door beeped, and X6’s voice floated through the intercom. “Ma’am, are you awake?”

 

Nate’s gaze jerked to the door, and he tried to cover Nora’s mouth. She bit down on his hand, hard enough to break the skin, so he pulled away.

 

“Come in!” Nora yelled.

 

The door slid open, and Nate leapt off the bed, trying to look put together despite the blood pouring down his face and the wound in his hand that he tried to hide.

 

X6’s gaze drifted between Nora and Nate, seeming to catalog every detail. He offered a smile. “Are you lost, sir? I am quite sure this isn’t your room.”

 

“I was just leaving.” Nate stormed to the door, angling his body so he didn’t brush against X6, who didn’t turn to make room.

 

X6 nodded. “Very good. Perhaps you should head to the bioscience and have those wounds examined. It seems you’ve been injured.”

 

Nate opened his mouth, then snapped it shut. He narrowed his eyes and turned, storming off.

 

X6 shook his head, then walked into the room. The door slid shut behind him. He took a towel from the bathroom, wetted it, then returned. “Did he injure you?” He crouched down and wiped the blood from her face.

 

“No.” Her clothing was still on, the same jeans and shirt she’d been in before. None of it seemed to have been removed, a small relief. She wasn’t sure how she’d react to finding out he’d touched her. “No, I don’t think so.”

 

“I am sorry. I did not expect him to do this. I should have, though. I will not leave your side again. If you spend another night here, I will stay in your room to ensure there is no repeat.” X6 frowned as he cleaned the blood from her. “He needs to be dealt with. He is little more than a rabid animal.”

 

“He will be. Trust me, I’m going to kill him.”

 

X6 stared at her, and she wasn’t sure she’d ever felt so examined, like he missed nothing. “Yes, I believe you will, ma’am. Father wishes to see you before you leave this morning. Are you ready?” He stood and held a hand out to her.

 

Nora took the hand and let him help her up.

 

 

#

 

Shaun sat in the room alone, as he had the day before. “Hello, Mother.”

 

Nora frowned at the title.

 

“Does my calling you that bother you? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

 

“No. It’s just, I guess it reminds me that I didn’t get to raise you. It sort feels like salt in the wound, if you will.”

 

Shaun indicated the couch for her to sit. “I understand. I am sorry, it is just, I never had a mother growing up. I didn’t have parents. Do not mistake that, I was cared for well, loved, adored. I just knew none of these people were my real parents, and I find myself wanting to make up for that.”

 

Nora sat on the couch, staring at the man she had given birth to, the one who she knew nothing about. She’d come here to rescue a child, but had found her son to be at the heart of the machine she was ready to tear down.

 

“Look, Mother, I won’t mince words. I’ve made my father my replacement as Director when I die, and that time is quickly approaching.”

 

Nora would have sworn her heart stilled for a moment when he said that. “What do you mean?”

 

“I’m sick. Very sick. The doctors have done all they can to extend the time I have, to allow me to make plans for the future of the Institute, but we are quickly reaching the end of that borrowed time. I have a few weeks, if I am lucky.”

 

“But, I just found you. A few weeks isn’t enough time to get to know you.” At least Nora knew why he wanted her to sit. There was no chance her legs would have carried her.

 

A wave of comfort slid across the link, and for once, Nora embraced it. She let Gage shoulder some of the heartache in her chest.

 

Everything she’d done to find her son, and she was going to lose him again.

 

Shaun sat beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her against him. It felt weird, a reversal of how things were supposed to be. She was the mother, she was supposed to comfort her child, but here he was, older and offering her support.

 

“I know it isn’t fair. I just wanted you to know, so you were not shocked when it happened. I have had a good life. I know in your eyes I was stolen, but in some ways, I was saved. I wish to amend my decision and make both you and my father co-directors. It will take a few days to carry that out. I know you two are no longer mates, but I believe you could run this place in my absence. It feels like a small way to thank you both, to offer you something for what you had to give up when they took me from you.”

 

“I don’t want to run this place, I just want time with you.”

 

Shaun hugged her tighter. “I know, Mother. Sometimes we don’t get what we want, though.”

 

And wasn’t that the one truth Nora had learned over her years. Even when you found what you were looking for, it never seemed like you got what you wanted.

 


	39. Chapter 39

 

Gage jumped up, rushing from the shack. Nora was there, close by. He’d felt it immediately. She was far away, then she wasn’t.

 

Sure enough, just outside, she stood. Nothing else mattered but touching her. Gage rushed over and pulled her against him, pressing kissed over her cheeks, then to her lips.

 

After a moment, he stilled, forcing himself to pull back. He didn’t want to crowd her, didn't want to hold her if she didn't want him to.

 

But she dug her fingers into his sides and returned the kiss with just as much passion as he had.

 

He did break the kiss, though. “You okay?”

 

“Yeah, I guess so. We’ve got a lot to talk about, though.” Nora frowned a moment, looking around. “Where’s D?”

 

“He went to check on Haylen.” Gage had tried to talk him out of it. Deacon was wily, but he didn’t stand much of a chance against Danse, and that Paladin was out for blood when it came to Haylen. There was no way for that to go well.

 

“That’s a disaster waiting to happen.”

 

“Oh, don’t I know it, but you know he doesn’t listen worth shit. Plus, he doesn’t sit still well. Come on inside; we’ll talk.”

 

An hour later, Nora had told him the entire story. The heartbreak he’d felt made sense, the spots of fear. Of course, the moment she’d reached out to him, the way she’d accepted the reassurance he’d sent her? Fuck, that had helped. It had made him ease, made him smile, even. She’d leaned on him, trusted him, accepted what he could offer. Nothing better.

 

She’s barely spoken about Shaun, only giving the details, the pain shimmering in her eyes as she changed topics. It was killing Nora, and fuck, there was no one for him to fight to fix that, nothing for him to do but hold her hand and brush the tears from her cheeks.

 

The part about Nate drugging her? Threatening her? That had his blood at a boil. Fuck he wanted to kill the asshole, especially after the smirk he’d given Gage, how sure he’d been that he would win. The fucker had a plan, that much was clear.

 

Too bad Nora was gonna be a wrench in those plans.

 

But, where could they go from there? Co-directors for the Institute? They were still gonna have to kill Nate. No question about that. Gage wouldn’t let him live no matter what. Of course, him being surrounded by coursers and all the power of the Institute meant that wasn’t exactly gonna be an easy task.

 

Not that Gage needed easy. He’s slog through glass to get to Nate if that’s what it took.

 

“You did good, sweetheart. I’m sorry I wasn’t there, but you did good. Just glad to have you home.”

 

“Home? Is that what this place is?”

 

Gage shrugged. “Hell, I don’t know. Never really had a home. Just figure wherever you are with me works pretty fucking well as home.”  

 

Nora pulled him toward the bed, but he moved slow, pulling against her grip.

 

“Look, we ain’t gotta do this. Let’s slow it down again. After dealing with Nate, with Shaun, maybe it ain’t a good time.”

 

Nora twisted them and pushed him backward until he landed on his ass on the mattress. She crawled over him, his hands finding her hips like a natural instinct. “It’s because of them I need this, that I need you. It reminds me what I still have, which is you. When everything else around me changes, I still have you.” She clutched his shoulders.

 

He grasped behind her neck and pulled her down into a kiss. “Always, sweetheart. You always have me.”

 

 

#

 

 

Nora smiled down at Gage as he slept. She never knew that two people could just be together like that. No fighting, no screaming, no pain. He’d been right that she’d enjoy sex with him, that she’d grow to trust him.

 

Even back before Nate, she’d never really figured this. She’d imagined some perfect cardboard cut out of a mate. Hell, if she’d had made her perfect mate it would have been a lot more like Nate than Gage was. She’d thought she’d wanted someone perfect, well spoken, with a sweet voice. How did she manage to fall in love with a rough, grizzled raider who cursed like a deathclaw instead?

 

Because she hadn’t know what she wanted back then. Took getting it to realize what she needed.

 

Not that any of it helped her figure out what she was going to do about Nate. Maybe they could tempt Nate out of the Institute? Set a trap?

 

No, Nate was too smart for that. He’d never fall for it. As soon as he had any sort of control, he’d use the coursers for his own uses anyway, so he’d have no reason to leave the safety of underground. Nate wasn’t the sort risk himself for anything, not if he could put someone else in the line of danger. They’d have to kill him in the Institute.

 

She could kill him inside the Institute. Shaun had had a courser chip installed in her pipboy so she could go back at any time, which meant the next time she’d be armed. Of course, he was careful. Getting close to him armed would be almost impossible. If she could get Deacon or MacCready inside, either could take a shot from a hell of a farther distance than she could.

 

But that wasn’t likely to happen. Nate had been given a hell of an upgrade to transport them both, and it had only worked because someone worked the transporter from the Institute side. Without that, Nora couldn’t transport anyone else. She could allow Deacon to use her pipboy and transport in, but hell, she wouldn’t send him in without backup.

 

Even if she did kill him, security there meant she’d have coursers and gen 2’s on her in moments, so she’d have to have a good escape plan in place before hand.

 

Nora shook her head and crawled out of the bed. All this thinking wasn’t doing anything but screwing up her sleep. Gage rolled over, arm reaching out, searching for her like he'd sensed even asleep that she'd left.

 

Nora pulled the blanket back over him. “I’m just going to take a walk. You sleep.”

 

He pulled her down for a kiss before letting her go. “Alright. Let me know if you need anything.”

 

The night had a chill to it, so Nora pulled on a sweater. Not many moved about outside, the light posts along the main street lighting her way. Nights in Sanctuary tended to be quiet. Patrols had beefed up after Nate’s appearance, though her own use the transporter let her know why it had happened. She’d already had Preston set up a few turrets inside the perimeter to locate targets who transporter directly into the settlement.

 

Funny to think she’d end up here again, in Sanctuary Hills. The day Nate had brought her there, showed her the house he’d bought them, all full of pride, it still crept around in her mind. But then again, Nate had never been any good at reading her. He’d really thought she’d give in, that she’d be happy.

 

Fool.

 

“General,” Preston said. “I’m surprised you’re up.” He didn’t have his hat on, and his eyes held lines of stress. The man didn’t relax for much, but more tension than usually ran through him.

 

“I couldn’t sleep.”

 

He nodded, not meeting her gaze. “There’s some news. I was going to let it wait until morning, figured you could use sleep before dealing with this. I don’t think anyone will be getting much sleep soon.”

 

Nora stilled at the serious tone he used. “What happened, Preston?”

 

“The Brotherhood attacked The Castle. They’ve officially declared war on the Minutemen.”

 

It seemed Maxson had picked his side. She’d warned him, told him what would happen if he picked the wrong side. What happened now was on his shoulders.

 

“Well, I guess we’ve got our battle lines drawn then, don’t we?” Nora turned and walked back toward her shack.

 

“What are you going to do, General?”

 

“I’m going to show him exactly who I am. Sit tight, and wait for the fireworks.”


	40. Chapter 40

 Gage sighed as he listened to Nora and Dez go back and forth. They'd been at it for half an hour already and seemed no closer to an understanding. 

 

“We don’t have the manpower.” Dez shook her head. “We need to keep our resources focused on the Institute. The Brotherhood is a problem we can’t deal with right now, not without losing a great many people, and we just don’t that those people to lose. We’re spread thin as it is.”

 

“Fuck that, Dez. They’re killing my Minutemen, and the Minutemen are your best allies right now. If we don’t make a stand, then it’s going to be just you against the Brotherhood and the Institute. Do you think you’ll be able to stand against their combined forces? Because that’s what’s going to be gunning for you the moment they finish with the Minutemen.”

 

Dez sighed, leaning against the stone in the center of HQ she used as a table. “I want to help, I do. But I can’t offer you troops.”

 

Tom spoke up from the side. “What about my plan? We only need a couple.”

 

“We don’t have a couple.”

 

“Yeah, you do. You’ve got Nora and I, there’s two.” Gage crossed his arms as he listened to the bullshitting. If raiders were good at one thing, it was doing. They didn’t point fingers, they just charged in. He hated this whole negotiating shit, the planning. They had something to do, he wanted to just go fucking do it.

 

“And me. I’m not about to let you guys go have all the fun without me,” Deacon said, glasses on. He had a split lip and a black eye, visible even from behind his glasses. Looked about like the damage a jealous paladin might do. Seemed his visit with Haylen might not have gone that well. Not exactly a surprise.

 

Tom bounced his weight from one side to the other, part of the fidgeting that never stopped with him. “And I’ll go. I’m not a field agent, but I can help. It’s my plan and you all need me for it. That’s four of us, Dez, we can do it.”

 

Dez’s lips thinned into a line. “I don’t like this, but you all can do it if you want. I won’t stop you.”

 

They followed Tom over to PAM’s room for him to explain his plan.

 

And what a stupid fucking plan it was.

 

#

 

Nora gripped the edge of the vertibird. “You crash this thing, Tom, I swear I’ll haunt you!”

 

“Let me focus, then, would you? This is not like rocket science, this is hard!”

 

Nora groaned and closed her eyes against the swaying. The only thing that repeated in her head was the sight of all those vertibird crashed. They neared the Prydwen, after having cleared the Cambridge Police Station and stolen the vertibird parked on the roof. They’d taken out the Brotherhood there, and for the first time, Nora was glad that circumstances had made Haylen and Danse run. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to fire on either of them. This was their ticket up to the Prydwen, at which point they planned to blow the fucker up.

 

It was a straight forward plan, as plans went, but that was fine with her. Straight forward plans were harder to screw up. Set some bombs then get the hell out of there.

 

Gage wound an arm around Nora’s waist, holding her against him as he gripped a support in the vertibird, and the touch helped her relax despite the way the vertibird lunged around like a drunken crow. “Ain’t losing you because of Tom’s stupid plan, sweetheart.”

 

“If nothing has taken me out yet, I don’t think Tinker Tom will be the end of me.”

 

He laughed and pressed a kiss to her neck. “Have I ever told you how fucking good you look when you shoot people?”

 

“Come on people. Some of us are trying to keep our mind on the jobs. It’s called professionalism! You all need to read the brochures on appropriate work behavior.” Deacon had his arms crossed over his chest, somber as she’d ever seen him, seated on the bench seat. He hadn’t said much since meeting her at HQ, hadn’t said a word about the bruises or the split lip. He just sulked around, and she found herself missing his grin and his jokes.

 

Somber didn’t look good on Deacon.

 

“You’re only saying that because you tried to make a move on Haylen and Danse pummeled you.”

 

“First of all, I didn’t make a move on her. After what she’s been through? I wouldn’t do that. Secondly, he didn’t pummel me.”

 

Nora pointed at Deacon’s face. “Really? Because that looks like nasty.”

 

“I thought you were my friend. Act like it and be sympathetic. I’m always nice to you.”

 

“You once used me as bait for a suicider!”

 

Deacon sighed. “Whatever. Fine. Forget about it.”

 

Nora shrugged out of Gage’s grip and collapsed into the seat beside Deacon. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m just not used to this whole uncertainty thing with you.”

 

“Yeah, trust me, neither am I. Gotta say, Fixer, I don’t like it.”

 

She threw an arm over his shoulders and pressed a kiss to his head. “Yeah, I know. Look, you helped me when I was having mate trouble. Talk to me.”

 

“This is different. We aren’t mates. We’re nothing, but I still can’t get her out of my head. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. She’s the last person I should be thinking about. After everything with Nate, and whatever she has with Danse, not to mention she is still Brotherhood, and with all my secrets, yeah, there are a million reasons why that is a hell of a lot of no go, but I can’t stop thinking about her.” His words came out so broken, nothing like the man she’d grown used to, the one who never let anything get beneath his skin.

 

“Things will work out somehow, they always do.”

 

“Yeah, we just never know if they’ll work out in our favor, or by fucking us over, and I know which way the odds tend to go for my life. I mean, I’m about to try and blow up an airship with a raider, a popsicle housewife, and a nutjob, so I’ve gotten used to my lot in life.”

 

Nora laughed and bumped him. “Yeah, but even with that group, we both know Maxson doesn’t stand a chance.”

 

Deacon released a sigh, like he let all those worries drift away, before smiling. “Yeah, you’re right. Nothing like a bit of blood to wipe away the blues, huh? Let’s go give him hell.”

 


	41. Chapter 41

 

Gage grabbed Nora’s arm before she left the vertibird. She looked over her shoulder, and fuck, he loved her. She’d braided her hair back, showing off her face.

 

He swallowed down his worry. “Be careful, okay?”

 

She grinned and gave him a quick kiss. “Don’t worry. We’ve got this.”

 

Yeah, because it was such a great idea. He felt like an idiot in his orange jumpsuit, one that matched Deacon and Nora’s. They’d have hid better with power armor, but that would restrict movement too much. So jumpsuits, plus a healthy supply of stealthboys, was the best option.

 

Sure, they could have gone in guns blazing, but why? Better to set up the bombs before anyone even knew they were there. Reduced the chances of this turning into a fire fight, because he wouldn’t exactly put his odds on them if that happened. Hard for three to stand against an airship full of soldiers.

 

 

The three hit their stealthboys and moved low and slow.

 

Bypassing the guards proved easy as fuck. The soldiers had grown so comfortable, so sure they were safe, they hardly looked around. Gage sucked at stealth and he suspected he could have tap danced past and no one would have batted an eye.

 

They pressed against the wall as they passed through the first hallway, before hopping the stairs and going to the second level. Another floor, and they climbed the last set of stairs.

 

Each took one of the bombs and placed them. Tom had gone over again and again how to place them, how to hide them behind the access panels to make them invisible. They needed to remain unnoticed.

 

Nora came over until she stood beside Gage. She placed a hand on his lower back as she surveyed his work. She knew damned well that wiring and science wasn’t in his thing, so he didn’t mind her making sure he’d done shit right. Last thing he wanted was to be the one to fuck this up.

 

Nora offered a thumbs up before popping another stealthboy and taking off toward their last stop. Gage followed her lead, avoiding the few soldiers milling around. They stopped in front of the door to Maxson’s quarters, and given the hour, he should be inside.

 

Another reason they’d pick this terrible fucking hour to do this.

 

Nora slid in, then shut the door behind them.

 

Here went nothing.

 

#

 

Nora shut off the stealthboy and nodded at Gage to pull his rifle.

 

“You know, war is a terrible time to spend sleeping,” Nora said loud enough to wake Maxson, who slept on the bed.

 

Maxson jerked upright, eyes wide. “You’ve made a very big mistake.” He sat up, placing his feet on the ground.

 

Nora pulled a chair over and sat in it. “My friend here is willing to shoot you if you even think about yelling or causing problems. I just need to have a chat with you.”

 

“I have nothing to say to an Institute pawn.”

 

Nora tilted her head. “Institute pawn? How do you figure that?”

 

“Knight Cooper has already told me about your involvement. You’re working for them.”

 

She laughed, shaking her head. Of course Nate had pulled that. “And that’s why you’ve declared war? Because Nate told you I’m the enemy?”

 

“Because you are the enemy. You’re working at uniting the Minutemen and the Institute. I can’t allow that to happen. Not to forget, you’ve stolen Paladin Danse and Scribe Haylen.”

 

“Well, I hate to tell you, but you’ve got all your information screwed up. Danse and Haylen are both fine. They left after you failed to keep her safe from Nate, because they could not trust you anymore. I’ll give you no information on either of them, they’re welcome to stay gone as long as they want. As far as the Institute? You’ve got your facts twisted. Nate has been made Director of the Institute upon our son’s death. He’s lying to you so you’ll deal with the Minutemen.”

 

“Why would he do that?”

 

“For the same fucking reason he does everything else, to get what he wants. He wants me, and sweet talking me hasn’t work, so I’m going to guess he figures if he can do away with my resources, it gives him both me, and a tighter grip on the Commonwealth. Not to mention, he risks nothing since you’ll suffer all the loses.”

 

Maxson frowned, leaning forward slightly. “You can’t be right. Cooper found a way into the-“

 

“-No he didn’t! I found the way in. He swooped in at the last minute and stole it, which is pretty much how he does everything. He stole the schematics and now he's trying to steal the Commonwealth but using your men as front line fodder. I told you to pick the right side, didn’t I? Well, you picked the wrong side. You went up against me, killed my people, and pissed me off.”

 

“So you’re here for revenge? Are you planning on killing me here? Seems short-sighted since you’ll never make it off this ship alive.”

 

Nora laughed and pulled out a button from her pocket. “Not exactly. Nate tricked you, so I’m willing to give you one more chance. Not because you deserve it, but because you have people on this ship who I don’t want to die just because of your stupidity and Nate’s plans. I’ve wired three bombs into this ship. They’ll go off when I press this button. Before you think killing me will help, however, I have an associate on the ground with another one of these. Cause me problems, we all go down.”

 

Maxson’s face tightened. “What do you want?”

 

“I want you out of the way. Believe it or not, I don’t want to destroy you. This is all going to end with a lot more death than I want, and I have no desire to add any of you all to that list.”

 

“So you’ll just let us leave?”

 

Nora grinned. “Oh, I didn’t say that. You crossed me. You screwed with the wrong woman, even after I warned you. I’m going to blow this ship out of the sky, but I’m willing to let you and your people get off it first. If you don’t want to follow that advice, well, I guess you can burn with the Prydwen. You’ve got ten minutes to decide.”

 

The image of the great Elder Arthur Maxson having to walk his ass home in defeat pleased her and helped sooth the anger at letting him go after killing her people.

 

Of course, Nate was good at manipulating people, at getting them to believe whatever he wanted. It was hard to blame someone for falling for it.

 

“Come on, Maxson. You know this is a good deal. Time is running out.”

 

“Fine. We have a deal.”

 

“Oh, and in case your plan is to leave the Prydwen and stage some sort of pointless stand along your trip out of the Commonwealth, know that I’ll have artillery aimed at you the entire way.”

 

Maxson’s face went red with frustration. “Is that all?”

 

Nora gave him a smile full of mischief. “No. I need one more thing from you.”

 

 

#

 

 

Back on the ground, Nora laughed at the Brotherhood soldiers who marched away, all impotent rage. A few had defected, deciding to stay in the Commonwealth. A few even moved over to the Minutemen rather than returning.

 

Nora couldn’t blame them.

 

The wreckage of the Prydwen sat in flames along the outskirts of the airport, a testament to Nora’s anger, and a sign that would stay warning people not to fuck with her people.

 

“Ma’am?” The stiff speech pattern could only mean a courser, and sure enough, a courser she didn’t recognized stood behind them.

 

“You all should wear bells so you stop sneaking up on people. What do you want?”

 

“You are needed in the Institute.”

 

“I’m a little busy if you haven’t noticed.” Nora pointed at the wreckage.

 

“Really? It seems you have finished. This is very important, ma’am.”

 

Nora didn't care for the urgency layered in the courser’s voice. Coursers weren’t known for feeling, especially for displays of it.

 

“Is Shaun okay?”

 

The courser frowned, and that frown told her everything he hadn’t. Something was wrong with Shaun. “I’m sorry, but I am not at liberty to discuss that on the surface. Please, come with me.”

 

Nora turned to face Gage, expecting him to argue, to tell her to stay. She was ready to fight with him, to explain to him that while Shaun wasn't his child, he was hers, and she had to go. 

 

Instead, he only pulled her in for a kiss. “Go. I’ll mop up this mess.”

 

She squeezed his arm. “Okay. I’ll be back soon.”

 

Nora reached for her pipboy and transported into the Institute. At least this time, she kept her lunch down. As soon as she caught her breath, she turned to find the courser beside her. “Tell me, now.”

 

The courser’s eyes darted up toward the window of Shaun’s quarters, his face showing lines of tension that didn’t fit in his hard face.

 

“I’m sorry to be the one to have to tell you, but Shaun died early this morning.”


	42. Chapter 42

 

Nora’s knees hit the ground, a mimic of how she’d woken up, the moment she’d realized how much she’d lost.

 

How unfair life could be. All her striving, all her pain, and she was in the same exact place. And now she was losing it all again. Everything was slipping away from her.

 

All she’d gotten were two conversations with her son, neither long enough to ask him anything. Why hadn’t she asked him anything? Because she’d been shocked, because she’d thought she had time. What was his favorite color? His favorite food? What was he afraid of as a child? She knew nothing about him and now she had no chance to.

 

Mothers were supposed to know everything about their kids. They prided themselves on the expanse of their knowledge, on the way they could call every little detail about their children, how they knew them as no one else did.

 

But not Nora.

 

Nora wouldn’t even be able to speak at his memorial, because she didn’t know him. She’d never gotten to know him. They were strangers to each other.

 

That truth burrowed into, worming its way through her, digging out holes inside of her until she thought she’d collapse because nothing was left behind.

 

Hands grabbed her arms, helped her up, but she didn’t feel it. She didn’t help, didn’t fight. Didn’t care. Nothing mattered. Her weapons were removed, but so what?

 

All this work, all those stupid ideas she’d had, and none of them would happen. The ideas of putting him to bed, of living together, of at least spending time together, they laughed at her. She’d never be able to comfort him, to help him, to care for him. Her son was gone and she hadn’t even been there. He’d died without her.

 

The world moved around her but she didn’t notice any of it. People stared at her, pity in their faces, but they could take their pity and burn it because she didn’t want it.

 

She wanted her son. She wanted one more fucking day with him, to sit and ask him all those questions. She wanted to hug him, to hear his heart, to just feel him.

 

Along their link, Gage brushed against her, worry and comfort and strength. It didn’t help. How could anything help? Even her lungs didn’t want to work, stuttering in uneven breaths.

 

Someone took her into her room.

 

Finally, she saw who it was. Nate.

 

Fuck Nate. She didn’t care enough to fight him. Anything he did didn’t matter anymore. She’d hung on for Shaun and he was gone. It left her an empty shell, someone without any use, any purpose. Let Nate have whatever he wanted, she just didn’t care anymore.

 

Nate pulled her against him and pressed his lips to hers, his hand rubbing her back. The touch allowed anger to replace grief, at least for a moment.

 

Nora shoved at him. “Get off me. My son’s dead.”

 

“I know. I’m sorry, I know this isn’t how you wanted any of this to go. But now it’s just us, Nora. Don’t push me away. We’re the only ones left now, we have to cling to each other.”

 

“Fuck you! Don’t pretend like you cared about Shaun. You only wanted him because of your ego, and then because of what he could give you. You’ve never cared about anyone but yourself.”

 

Nate’s lips pressed together like he was trying to stay calm, trying to contain his anger. “I’ll let this slide. You’re upset right now, Nora. You should lay down and get some sleep.”

 

She rushed forward and shoved him harder, managing to make him stumble backward. “I’m not upset. This is not me having a hissy fit. My child is dead, the child I searched the Commonwealth for, the one I’d do anything to protect, he’s gone. I’m never going to get the chance to talk to him again, see him. So you can go fuck yourself, Nate, because I now have nothing to lose, and nothing will stop me from killing you.”

 

Nate grabbed Nora’s arm, pulling off her pipboy then throwing her against the wall. She caught herself with her hands to prevent slamming her face against it.

 

“I think you’ll be surprised at what you still have to lose. Maxson will tear through your precious Minutemen before burning your settlements to the ground.”

 

She turned toward him and laughed. “Pay some attention, will you. Have you taken a good look at this coat? Because I took it from Maxson before I burned his ship to the ground! The Brotherhood is gone. I took them all from you.”

 

Nate’s eyes ran over the coat, and she could see the moment he realized that, yes, it was Maxson’s. Clearly, he hadn’t gotten word yet on the Prydwen, on what had just happened to half his forces. Something in him snapped and he rushed her. He wrapped a hand around her throat and slammed her backward against the wall, her head striking it with a thud that she heard before she felt the pain.

 

“I still have the Institute.”

 

“We do. Shaun said he was making us co-directors.”

 

“Which was exactly why I had to kill him before he could do that.”

 

Nora went still as the words sunk in. She didn’t even doubt them, not for a moment. She’d put nothing past Nate and his drive or power. “You killed my son?”

 

Nate leaned into her face. “I would have given him a few weeks, given it to you both. I’m patient, I don’t mind waiting, and believe it or not, I didn’t want you to hurt like this. As soon as he told me he planned to put us both in that position, I knew I had to act. I tried to talk him out of it, but he refused to be reasonable. By the end of the conversation, I think he had started to rethink having me as even a co-director. Don’t look at me like that, Nora, it was his fault, not mine. He was going to be gone in a few weeks anyway, so it isn’t like going a little early was that big of a deal.”

 

Nora flashed her teeth like a snarl. “I’m going to kill you, Nate. Even if you hadn’t done anything else, you stole my child, you killed my son, took away my time with him. I’m going to tear you apart for that.”

 

“You’re welcome to try. Sometimes it’s fun to watch you fail. In case this hasn’t really hit you yet, you’re mine. No pipboy means you have no way to transport out. You’re in the Institute, which I have complete control of. No one can get in, so don’t expect a rescue. I control everything, now. I’ve won, Nora. Why don’t you learn your place like a good girl, okay? I have people out looking for Haylen and Gage. They’ll bring them back here and we’ll take care of them both. Once they’re dead, our link is back and everything is as it should be.” Nate leaned in, like he was going to kiss her, but turned to kiss her neck instead. A good idea, since Nora would have taken his lip off. “I can’t wait to have you. Not yet, though. Without that link this is all empty. We just have to wait a few more days to fix that, though.”

 

“You’ll never get either of them. They’re both stronger than you’ll ever be. You’re just a weak, pathetic excuse of man-“

 

Nate backhanded her, and this time X6 wasn’t there to stop it. Copper filled Nora's mouth, but she wouldn't let anything show on her face. If he thought one hit would do anything, he'd forgotten what he'd put her through before. She used her tongue to lick the blood off her bottom lip, a slow show so he knew exactly how little she cared. She wasn't the same woman he'd faced off with before, and he was going to figure that out about the time she killed him.

 

Nate pulled away, eyes raking over Nora’s form. “You look good in Maxson’s coat. Feel free to keep it, the Brotherhood had already outgrown its usefulness.” He walked to the door before looking over his shoulder. “Oh, and Nora? It’s good to have you home again, finally.”

 

 


	43. Chapter 43

Nick offered a cigarette, which Gage took on one of his many passes as he paced. “She’ll be okay. You know she’s tough. That mate of hers couldn’t take her out before, he won’t manage it in a few days.”

 

Gage grunted, the closest thing the synth was getting to a response. Nora had been gone for almost twenty-four hours, during which time Gage had headed back to the Castle to wait and keep an eye on the massive exit of Brotherhood.

 

Nora’s pain still crept over the link, and Gage was sure he knew the reason. Shaun had died. The sort of bottomless grief could only mean that his illness were worse than she’d realized. He wished like fuck she was there. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, to whisper that it would be okay, to hold her while she cried. He wanted to do something more than pace and snap at Nick and Deacon. She hadn’t pulled away when he’d offered comfort, but neither had she accepted. It was like she’d frozen, though that pain had quickly turned to anger.

 

And given that she hadn’t returned?

It meant Nate had her. No other explanation. Worse, they had no fucking idea how to help her.

 

They being the wonderful fucking team of Gage, Deacon, and Nick. Because, yeah, they sounded like a real crack team of experts. What’s next? Inviting the dog along?

 

A flash of light, the same one that haunted Gage, that kept meaning his mate was gone, caught his attention.

 

But it wasn’t Nora who stepped forward, it was at least three coursers and a hand full of gen 2’s.

 

Guess that answered the question. Nate was done fucking around. One of the courser’s pointed at Gage, which he returned with his middle finger before hauling his assault rifle from its place over his back.

 

“There is no reason for anyone to die,” the courser in front said. “The Director does not want anything but you, Gage.”

 

“Where’s Nora?”

 

“She is safe and home.”

 

“The Institute isn’t her home.”

 

“It is now. Please, come with us. We do not wish to kill the people here, but neither will we hesitate to do so if you fail to comply.”

 

Gage hesitated for a moment. Could he really risk Nora’s people just for his life?

 

A bullet tore through the skull of the front courser, and Deacon yelled down from his spot on the roof of an adjacent house. “How’s that for complying? You aren’t taking anyone else of ours.”

 

Ours? Gage hadn't been anyone's in so long, hadn't been part of anything important, he wasn't sure how to react to it. 

 

Gage shoved that strange description away and threw himself into the fight. 

 

It didn’t last long. Nate must have underestimated the defenses of Sanctuary, because a group of less than ten didn’t stand much of a chance.

 

“They pointed at you, Gage, and were damn sure not to hit you with a stray bullet.” Nick toed one of the bodies.

 

“Yeah. Nate wants to try to get his bond back, probably wants to make sure I die at the right time. He kills me off too soon, the bond might jump to someone else and he has to start over.”

 

Deacon stilled. “They’re going after Haylen, aren’t they?”

 

“I’d bet on it, yeah. But I doubt Nate would come up here on his own, so they’re going to have a hell of a search.”

 

Deacon didn’t hear any of it, though. He’d already turned and was gone. Not that Gage could blame him. If it was Nora, he’d be gone, too.

 

“So what now?” Nick holstered his pistol.

 

“Now, we fuck up Nate’s plans until Nora gets back.”

 

#

 

Nora pulled at the dress she wore. She hated the thing, a near replica of what she’d worn while married to Nate. But, her options were to wear this or go naked.

 

Nate had taken her old clothing and offered nothing else to replace it.

 

So her fingers trembled as she buttoned the dress up to her throat, like closing a coffin. She smoothed her hair back into a bun, grateful that at least he hadn’t found any make-up for her to slather on.

 

The mirror reflected a woman back to her that she’d thought she’d buried. She thought she’d drowned that woman in blood and pain since waking up, but there she was. Perfect and fake and trapped.

 

Nora screamed and slammed her fist against the mirror, shattering it into a million pieces. She tried to fall on the pieces, to grasp one. Anything to have a weapon.

 

Strong, unyielding hands pulled her away. They pulled the glass from her grip. “You will injure yourself, ma’am.” A courser. Always a courser. Nate had one assigned to her at all times, always a threat, a reminder that she was owned.

 

The door opened, and Nate walked in. He wore the vault suit, and she wanted to burn it, to burn him. His gaze drug over the mess, the blood in her hands. He clicked his tongue softly. “Nora, you must learn to behave. You’ve hurt yourself.”

 

The courser held Nora’s wrists in place as Nate opened her hands, surveying the wounds. She knew they should hurt, but she’d gone numb in her two days there. She could feel nothing beyond the cold rage that crawled through her.

 

“You look lovely. Those fighting clothes had their appeal, but I like you like this better. Soft, sweet, mine.”

 

Nora yanked against the courser's grip, trying to attack, but nothing could even budge him.

 

Nate laughed and ran a thumb down her cheek. “Still some fight left, is there? Good. I like a little fight in you. X2, please take Nora to bioscience to have her hands taken care of.”

 

“Of course, sir.” He waited until Nate left before releasing Nora. X2 held his hand out toward the door like they were just going for a simple stroll. “This way, ma’am.”

 

Blood dripped from her hand to the floor, splattering, and the petty part of her thought about it staining everything white in that place.

 

She needed to keep her head going, though, so she walked the way X2 had indicated.

 

She hadn’t been allowed to leave her room yet. Nate had shown up for meals, like he cared, like they were dating. She’d ignore him, mostly. Sometimes she’d poke at him, using every little insult she could think of until he left.

 

He hadn’t hit her again. Maybe he’d realized how pointless it was. After everything he’d done to her, he’d hardened her, and since he couldn’t kill her, he was at an impasse. He lacked proper motivation. Frustration colored his face when he visited, and she loved it.

 

He hadn’t found Haylen or Gage, either. Of course, the way he’d torn in there the night before, throwing things, screaming, cursing Gage, she knew he’d tried. He’d tried and had his ass handed to him by her mate. Nora had only smiled.

 

Bioscience was quiet. Hell, the whole place was quiet. The normal bustle of people had dimmed, and the number of gen 2’s had increased sharply. Trouble in paradise?

 

“You’ve been injured,” a woman in the normal bioscience getup said, rushing over and grasping Nora’s hands.

 

She wanted to shove the woman off, but it wasn’t the woman’s fault, so she allowed the touch.

 

The woman turned her hands over, surveying the damage. “The wounds are jagged. Glass?”

 

“Yes. She broke a mirror in her room and then grasped a shard.” X2 said.

 

“Why would you do that?”

 

Nora smiled. “Because I was hoping to slit Nate’s throat with it.”

 

“Next time, hide the piece in the folds of your dress. You'll have a better chance of getting close enough for a killing blow.” X6’s voice, despite having the same flat tone as other coursers, made her grin.

 

She’d never heard a more welcome thing than that deadpan, scary fucking voice.


	44. Chapter 44

X2 twisted to face X6. “You are not supposed to be here. Make sure you think through the consequences before you act foolishly.”

 

“You betrayed the Institute and Father by siding with Nate. Don’t pretend you didn’t know, that you didn’t have a choice. You’ve picked your side at your own peril.” X6 moved and. . . fuck. Nora had severely underestimated the courser’s ability.

 

He reached over and wrapped an arm around X2’s neck, gripping his chin and yanking until a loud crack filled the room and X2’s body went limp. At the same time, he lifted a pistol to aim at the woman who still hadn’t moved. “I have no desire to kill you. Nate murdered Father to place himself in power, and he is tearing the Institute apart from the inside. Do you plan on letting him get away with that?”

 

The woman shook her head.

 

“Good. On the floor, face down. When we are gone, tell them I overpowered you. They’ll believe it.”

 

“I’ve never been so glad to see a synth before.” Nora wrapped her arm around X6, ignoring the way he tensed beneath the touch, like he was unused to contact.

 

“Not even when seeing your favorite synth?”

 

“Nick’s never broken anyone’s neck for me. So, you know about Nate?”

 

X6 pulled Nora’s arm out and hooked her pipboy on. “Yes.”

 

“So what are you doing here? Let’s go kill Nate.”

 

X6 shook his head. “Father was perfectly clear about my job. He asked one thing of me, and that was to keep you safe. That is my primary mission, it was the last thing he asked of me. I will not fail him. Besides, Nate goes nowhere without a security detail. We have no hope with our current numbers, being barely two.”

 

Nora tossed him a glare. “I know you didn’t just consider me barely a person.”

 

X6 cocked up an eyebrow and gestured to her dress. “You are not exactly dressed in a way that suggests you might be capable.”

 

“This was not my choice. Nate gave me. . . you know what? We will finish this conversation later.” Nora jabbed him with her finger.

 

“As you wish. For now, let’s get you out of here.” He reached for her pipboy.

 

Nora yanked away. “Not yet. First, I need to see Shaun.”

 

“There is no time for that, Ma’am. They’ll know about X2 within a few minutes.”

 

“Please, X6. I didn’t get to say goodbye. I need to see him one more time. If we run into trouble, we transport out immediately.”

 

X6 released a soft growl. “Fine. We take the back path. Follow me and stay close. The first sign of danger and we go, no arguing. Understood?”

 

“Yes, absolutely.”

 

X6 took them to a back door, punching in a code to open a door that groaned from disuse. They took so many turns in old areas that Nora would have had no hope of finding her way back. How did X6 know where all this was? Where they were going?

 

How was she going to see Shaun? Simple, because she couldn’t not see him. She couldn’t leave without telling him she was sorry, without saying the goodbye she’d been robbed of.

 

Somehow, X6 managed the endless turns, because the final door opened into a cold, empty room.

 

Empty, save for a tube, the glass cover allowing Nora to get a glimpse of her son’s face.

 

She took a step forward, but X6 grasped her hand in a gentle squeeze. “We do not have much time, Ma’am.”

 

Nora nodded and crossed the distance until she could stare down into the face of the son she’d never really gotten to know.

 

“Was he a good man?”

 

X6 titled his head, his face without feeling. “I am not sure I am the person to make that judgment.”

 

“But you knew him, didn’t you? I mean, he asked you to look after me, so you had to mean something to him.”

 

“I did know him. He was a friend, I suppose. He did not have many friends, since people in power tend not to. When Ayo wanted to have me terminated after I failed a mission, it was Father who refused to allow it to happen. It was Father who talked to me when I could not sleep after my first kill. He sat on the side of the bed and read a book to me, like I was a child, not a trained killer. So, yes, we were friends. But I am not sure a killer like myself is the person to decide if others are good men.”

 

“I don’t have anyone else to ask. Please, X6, tell me. I need to know something. Anything.”

 

He sighed, then set his hand on the glass, flat, leather covered fingers stretching out. Even has he claimed to not know, to not understand emotion, nothing changed the way he grasped the glass, the hurt visible even through his glasses. “He cared greatly, for us all. Even for the synths. He saw us as his children, and he tried his best to care for us. Was he a good man? I don’t know if anyone is, but he tried to do good, more than most of us ever manage, and I think, perhaps, that is all that matters. The world will suffer without him.”

 

Teardrops broke against the glass until Nora leaned forward, her forehead pressing against the cold, now wet glass. “I’m so sorry, baby. I’ll make this right, Shaun. I promise, no matter what it takes, I’ll make this right. Nate won’t get away with this.”

 

“I knew you’d be here.” Nate’s voice had Nora lifting her head, eyes zeroing in on the man who had caused all this. “You are so predictable.” His gaze went to X6. “But you? You surprised me. I didn’t think dogs like you could snap at their master.”

 

“Do not think you are my master; it would prove a costly mistake. You murdered Father, and you will pay for it.”

 

Nate laughed, shaking his head. He rattled off a recall code, a string of words and numbers and the same confidence that said he expected to win.

 

Nothing happened. X6 showed no reaction to the code.

 

Nate’s eyes widened. “What the fuck?”

 

X6 let out a soft chuckle, but it only caused dread to sink into Nora. That was the laugh of a man you didn’t want to fuck with, and she was damn glad he was on her side. “Father reset my recall code because he suspected you could not be controlled. I was his favorite, you see, the only one he trusted his mother to, and I will keep her safe from you. The last thing he asked of me was to keep her safe, to keep her from you. You may have killed him, but he still outsmarted you. Isn’t it amusing when the copy is so much better than the original?”

 

“So I’ll just kill you the old fashioned way.” Nate reached over his shoulder for his rifle, but he was too slow.

 

X6 grabbed Nora’s arm and pressed a button on her pipboy. Everything went white as they transported away.

 


	45. Chapter 45

X6 grabbed Nora’s arm when they reappeared. His fingers slid over the edge of her pipboy, prying out the courser chip and throwing it. Before it hit the ground, a white flash appeared and it disappeared mid-air.

 

“What about your courser chip? I’m not an expert in courser physiology, but I did dig a chip out of the neck of one.”

 

“Father removed the code for mine from the system. I can still transport at will, but the code does not show up in their system, so they cannot recall me.”

 

Nora took a closer look at X6, trying to see past his sunglasses. “Shaun sure did a lot for you.”

 

“No, he did a lot for you. I was simply the tool he used to help you. What good would I be as your security if the Institute could call me back at any time? Now, we should get going. They can call up the coordinates from their system and send another group after us. It will take them at least twenty minutes to do so, however. So, ma’am, where are we headed?”

 

There was only one place Nora wanted to go. “That way.” She pointed north.

 

“What’s that way?”

 

“My mate.”

 

#

 

When Nora walked out of the elevator at the top of Trinity Tower, Gage moved to grab her. He wanted to hold her, to run his hands over her. Everything in him craved it.

 

Until a courser walked out beside her. Gage brought his gun up and prepared to fire.

 

Nora raised her hand and moved over, shielding the courser. “It’s okay. He’s friendly.”

 

The courser frowned, looking down at Nora like she was stupid. “I wouldn’t say friendly.”

 

“Not helping, X6. You’re as bad as Deacon.” Nora cast a glare over her shoulder before leaving the courser and rushing over to Gage.

 

And he didn’t give a fuck about the courser anymore. He didn’t care about anything but her. She jumped at the last moment, wrapping her arms around the back of his neck, legs going around his waist. Gage wrapped his arms around her back and dug his fingers into her skin.

 

“You fucking scared me, sweetheart.” He pulled her into a kiss.

 

“We need to discuss our plan,” X6 said from behind them.

 

Gage walked Nora backward, toward the shack he’d set up for them. They'd set up a few shacks for the people who had taken shelter on the roof and one floor down. Not many had come, since a large presence would be noticeable. Nick, Preston, Gage, a few minutemen. A couple others came and went, bringing supplies and checking in. He hadn't seen Deacon, but then again, he figured he was busy with Haylen. 

 

“Ma’am, this is serious.”

 

Both Nora and Gage broke the kiss long enough to shout, “later!”

 

Gage kicked the door shut behind them, closing out X6. He set Nora down on the bed. “I missed you, sweetheart, so fucking much. You okay?”

 

“I will be. Top of Trinity Tower, huh?”

 

Gage grinned. “Place has a special place in my heart after our first date. Figured it was easily defensible. After Nate sent his first group after me, thought I’d make it a bit more challenging for him. We need to talk about what happened.”

 

“Later.” Nora pulled back to undo the button of the dress she wore, and for the first-time Gage noticed the thing. Pretty, he guessed, but didn't fit her personality. 

 

“This is new.”

 

“I fucking hate it. Nate made me wear it.”

 

Gage pull the knife from his belt. “Well then, let me offer to slice it to fucking shreds for you, love.” He hooked the blade beneath the bottom hem and pulled it up, to the left of the buttons. He laid the blade flat when he reached her waist, hooking his fingers behind it so he couldn’t nick her skin. Last thing he ever wanted to do was make her bleed.

 

He had the thing sliced in a matter of a minute. Nora pulled away to yank it off and throw it against the wall, fury running through her. “Can we burn it later?”

 

“I love to watch you burn shit. We’ll make it a bonfire and grill dinner on it.”

 

Nora cupped his cheeks and pulled him forward, dragging her teeth against his bottom lip. “I love that you don’t judge me. Even when I want to do something crazy, you just stay right there with me, helping me, never shying away.”

 

He smiled, returning her gentle love bite. “Told you, I ain’t going nowhere. You wanna be crazy? Fuck, nowhere I’d rather be than crazy right beside you.”

 

Nora shimmied out of her underwear, tossing them to the side before hooking a heel around Gage’s hip and pulling him forward. But, he’d been through this with her before. She didn’t do well with weight on top of her and the last thing he wanted was to send her into panic, not when he'd finally gotten her back.

 

Gage grasped her hips and got her to move, turning her over onto all four. “How’s this? This okay for you?”

 

Nora nodded, hands flexing and gripping the mattress below her. “Yeah. I think this is okay.”

 

“Good. Figured you’ve been bitching about doing all the work. Gives me the chance to fuck you like you’ve been asking me to without me being on top of you. If this stops working for you, just let me know.”

 

He stood up, removing his clothing while admiring the view. Fuck, she drove him crazy. All those pretty curves, the little dips, he wanted to trace each one with his tongue. How’d he get so lucky?

 

Her hips shifted and she released a soft, needy moan, like she wanted him to hurry it up.

 

Gage laughed and knelt on the bed behind her. He ran his fingers up her slit, smiling when she parted her knees further in invitation.

 

“You remember what I told you I wanted to do? When I had my hand wrapped around my cock and you watched me, do you remember?”

 

Her tongue wet her lips before she whispered. “You said you wanted to taste me.”

 

“Yeah, I did. You gonna let me do that?” His fingers brushed her cunt again, a slow stroke to tempt her.

 

She nodded.

 

“I want to hear you, sweetheart.”

 

“Yes. Please.”

 

Gage laughed at the polite way she spoke, the nervousness. She wanted it, but it scared her, too. Not that he could blame her, he doubted Nate ever did anything for her, anything to make her feel good. Not that he planned on much right then.

 

But, fuck, he did want to taste her.

 

Gage set a hand on her hip, then leaned down and swiped his tongue up her cunt. Her back straightened at the touch, and she sucked in a breath.

 

He smiled and repeated the touch, dragging his tongue down to her clit. Nora let her arms fold, her chest dropping to the mattress, voice escaping in a broken whine.

 

“You like that?” Gage stiffened his tongue and pressed it into her.

 

“Fuck. Yes.”

 

His breath spilled over her as he chuckled before pulling away. “Yeah, well, I expect to spread you out soon, lay you back, and settle in between these thighs of yours when we have time. For now? I need to be inside you.”

 

He moved up to his knees behind her, grasping his cock with one hand. He stroked himself twice, even though there wasn’t a point. He was hard, ready to have her. She hissed when he fitted himself against her folds, her hips pushing back.

 

“We’re getting there, love. Have some patience.”

 

“Fuck patience and just fuck me already.”

 

Damn, he loved her.

 

Gage steadied her by his hold on her hip and eased into her. He clenched his teeth as her warmth and heat gripped him.

 

Once he’d pushed all the way in, he shuddered out a breath. He’d never get enough of being inside her, of having her. She shifted her hips in silent plea, so Gage focused. He slid out before pressing back into her, strokes slow and deep.

 

“I like this, being able to take you, sliding into you as deep as I want. I love feeling you tighten around me, chasing the sounds. How ya doing?”

 

“Good. Harder.”

 

“I got you down to one word sentences already? Let’s see what this does for ya.” He tightened his grip on her hips before thrusting in harder. Gage kept his attention on her, stayed tuned in to make sure he didn’t go too hard, didn’t get too rough.

 

Of course, all that came over their link was pleasure. The way her fingers gripped the blankets and arched her back confirmed it, so Gage continued. He picked up speed, finally able to take her like he wanted.

 

Sure, he’d be as gentle as he needed to be, he’d go as fucking slow as she needed, but he’d be a liar if he tried to say he didn’t want her like this. He wanted to take her, to fuck her, to claim her. He wanted to grip her and feed himself into her, to take her apart beneath him.

 

She squirmed beneath him, so Gage grasped her shoulder and pulled her up to her knees, leaning back against his chest. Nora was so close, she already twitched around him. He pressed his lips to her neck as he reached around her. It only took him two brushes of his finger against her clit before she came, her hand reaching up and behind her to grasp the back of his neck, to hold him tight to her. Gage pressed his head to her neck as he came, emptying in her, finally able to draw in a breath.

 

Hell, coming inside her calmed some raging part of him. Was that part of being a mate? That drive to fill her, to come deep inside of her, to give her the chance of conceiving. All he knew was that after it happened, he settled, wanting to drag her against him and hold her tight.

 

He helped her down, collapsing beside her.

 

She kissed his shoulder. “We should get back to X6.”

 

“Fuck X6.”

 

“I didn’t think you’d be into sharing. I’ll go ask him,” she pulled away, mischief coloring her grin.

 

Gage growled and yanked her back against him. “Anyone touches you, they lose a limb. Understood?”

 

She laughed and snuggled against him, making it clear she was fine ignoring X6 for a while. “Understood.”

 


	46. Chapter 46

 

Nora folded the sleeves up on the shirt to her elbows.

 

“You’re not walking out there in this.” Gage’s eyes traced over Nora’s bare legs that stuck out from the bottom of Nick’s shirt.

 

“Look, Ellie is going to bring me something to wear. No one here cares, but I can’t hide in here any longer. Suck it up, Gage.”

 

He groaned but didn’t argue anymore. He probably knew she was right. They’d spent two hours in that shack, together. Two hours they’d needed, two hours where she’d cried, told him about Shaun, about Nate, about the Institute. Two hours where she’d finally felt like a real person again.

 

Outside, the sun had started to set. X6 stood near the edge of the building, gaze tracing the skyline. Always the soldier, that one. She'd never figured herself for getting attached to a courser, but it seemed to have happened. Maybe it was because he was special to Shaun, a connection to the son she didn't know. 

 

From another corner of the roof, the glow of a cigarette caught Nora’s eye. She grinned and darted across the roof.

 

Nick wrapped his arms around her, pressing a kiss to her head. “Missed you, doll.”

 

“You know nothing can hold me.”

 

“Oh, I know that.” He laughed and ruffled her hair before taking a step back. “You trying to dress like me now? Next thing I know, you’ll be stealing my clients.”

 

Nora rolled her eyes and pulled at the hem of the shirt. “I’ll take this over that piece of shit dress Nate made me wear.”

 

“So, this is your favorite synth, I take it?” X6 stepped beside Nora.

 

“And who is leather and menace here?” Nick flicked ash from his cigarette to the roof.

 

Nora laughed, moving back over to Gage’s side. “This is X6. He’s friendly.” When X6 started to argue, Nora spoke over him. “Okay, so he isn’t exactly friendly, however he got me out of the Institute and broke someone’s neck for me, so think of him like dogmeat.”

 

“I pet Dogmeat,” Nick said.

 

“I wouldn’t suggest you try to pet me.”

 

Nora spoke louder over their bickering. “This is Nick Valentine. He’s my good friend and a detective. Not a great one, not as good as I am, but he’s okay.”

 

Nick grinned at her then shook his head.

 

She wrapped an arm around Gage. “And for anyone who doesn’t know, this is Gage, my mate. So, let’s get to it.”

 

#

 

Gage sat beside Nora, who sat in a chair, on her knees so she could lean over the table.

 

X6 sat across from Nora, Nick and Preston between them, Glory to Gage’s side. X6 shook his head. “A sneak attack will not work. Nate has, no doubt, stepped up security after Nora and my escape.”

 

“What do his forces look like?” Nora took a drink of her water, eyebrows drawn together. “What sort of numbers are we looking at if we get in?”

 

“A great many. I wish I could give you exact numbers, but upon taking over, Nate has shuffled a great many things around. Many people were unhappy with how Father had been directing us, focusing on trying to build some sort of relationship with the surface. He knew that, eventually, we would need to return. Nate played off that fear. Many knew he killed Father, but the two groups were split. Those who were willing to follow Nate made no mention of that, and those who spoke up were sent to the surface or killed. We will have some followers still in their ranks, and others who are just frightened, who may shift sides during a fight. I can tell you that the Gen 2’s do not change loyalty, though if we can get to Father’s terminal, I can shut down a great many of them.”

 

Nora nodded, tapping her fingers against the table. “How do our forces stand, Preston?”

 

“Brotherhood did some damage to our ranks, but with them gone, we can afford to pull extras off the patrols. I can give you thirty good men, the sort who will hold their own in a fight.”

 

Glory chimed in. “I already spoke to Dez. We don’t have many heavies, as you know. You’ve got me, Tom will outfit people with the best. I can get word to Deacon and you know he’ll come. It’s not much, but my minigun and I pack a punch.”

 

X6 narrowed his eyes. “G7-81?”

 

Glory gave him back the same look, all attitude. “The name is Glory now, X6. Learn it or lose something you’ll miss.”

 

Gage laughed and shook his head. So much for a nice cohesive team. If they didn’t kill each other, they might just stand a chance.

 

“So how do we get in?”

 

Preston pushed a map to her. “Sturges has been working on that. There’s an old tunnel system you can access that should get you into the old areas. It will be a haul to get to the main portions, but it should be enough.”

 

Nora nodded as she looked over the paperwork, over the map, seeming to calculate odds and men in her head. Gage had to give it to her, she was pretty damned good at marshaling forces. “X6, does this entry point look doable?”

 

“Yes, ma’am. These older areas are not hooked into the main system anymore, so our presence won’t be noted until we reached the newer areas.”

 

“Okay. Let’s give ourselves a week to gather everyone at the entry point. Keep this quiet, though. Only tell who you need to, because we never know who the Institute could have in their pocket and we need surprise on our side.”

 

After a few more small conversations, Nora and Gage sat alone at the table.

 

“I’m afraid,” Nora said.

 

“No reason to be. We’re all in this together.”

 

“That’s why I’m afraid. What if I’m leading them to death? Maxson asked me if I was going to tear the Commonwealth apart for a lover’s spat, and I’m afraid I’m going to get them killed for my own revenge.”

 

Gage grabbed Nora’s hand and pulled her into his lap. “First of all, this isn’t just about Nate. You know as well as I do that this is bigger than one man. The Institute needed to be dealt with already, and now with him leading it? It’s a problem too big to ignore. Those people aren’t following you because you want revenge, they’re following you because they know this threat needs to be taken care of, and they knew your plan is a good one.” He rubbed his hand against her back, then gave her a grin. “And, hell, sweetheart. We took down the Prydwen with four of us and a couple stealthboys. Those Institute assholes don’t stand a chance.”

 

Nora took a deep breath, then nodded. “Yeah. You’re right. We’ve got this.”

 

“And if we don’t, well, at least it’ll be a hell of a way to go.” Gage silenced whatever witty remark she planned with a kiss. 

 

 


	47. Chapter 47

 

“Whose terrible idea was this again?” Nora pressed her back against a wall, Deacon beside her.

 

“Pretty sure it was yours, Fixer. This has your name written all over it.”

 

Nora pulled the pin on a grenade and tossed it around the corner. “I’m not so sure. This is about as much of a clusterfuck as the Pyrdwen, and that was all you.”

 

“That was Tom, thank you very much.”

 

“Wait? Are you serious? If I’d realized we were trusting our lives to Tom, I’d have rethought it from the start. I mean, he once injected me with battery acid.”

 

Deacon laughed, wincing when he moved his arm, blood having stained his shirt. He’d taken a few hits, none serious, none he’d admit to. Deacon wasn't the sort to admit to weaknesses.

 

“I’m glad you’re here, D. Don’t think I could do this without you.”

 

“Like I’d be anywhere else. You take me to all the best places.”

 

“Wasn’t sure we’d be able to haul you away from Haylen.”

 

“Already told you, there’s nothing there. She’s with Danse.”

 

A piece of rock hit Nora’s shin. She looked over to where Gage glared at them both. “Did you throw a rock at me in the middle of a battle?”

 

“You need to pay attention and not gossip!”

 

“I can’t believe you threw a rock at me.” Nora laughed and shook her head before elbowing Deacon. “Alright, break times over. Let’s finish this, huh? X6, Gage, and I will take the stairs up to Shaun’s room to get that door open and shut down some synths. You go left with Preston, Nick, and Danse. As soon as the doors open, get to the generator. We'll try to catch up, but if we don't, I'll see you when we get out of here.”

 

Deacon gave her a thumbs up before moving left to round up the others.

 

The plan had gone, more or less, according to plan thus far. The only reason for that was that their plan had been so loose, it left a lot of room for deviation. The tunnel had been where Sturges said it would be, and clearing out the ferals hadn’t taken long.

 

The older areas of the Institute had turrets and a few synths they dealt with along the way. Nothing difficult. Once they reached the main space, however, all planning had gone to hell.

 

Nate had locked down the door to the reactor, which was where they needed to set the bomb to take out the whole Institute. Add that to the never ending supply of Gen 2's and coursers, and each foot they'd moved had been hard won. 

 

Nora darted for the stairs, X6 and Gage on her heels. They moved fast, letting the Minutemen draw most of the fire. Preston had been right, he’d given her the best of their men.

 

At the door, Nora hesitated. She hadn’t been into Shaun’s room since that morning, when he’d told her he was dying. Her hand pressed against the doorframe, a soft touch.

 

“We need to move, ma’am,” X6 said.

 

She nodded. They did. Leave it to X6 to keep his head on straight. She walked into the room, ignoring the medical bed that closed, the same sort Shaun’s body had been in when she'd said goodbye. They were both similar, a bed capable of keeping a body at a certain temperature and scanning them. This one had been moved in expecting Shaun’s continued downward slide.

 

Then Nate had made it so it wasn’t needed by killing Shaun.

 

X6 moved to the terminal, setting his weapon on the table and leaning forward.

 

“This was my son’s room,” Nora told Gage, not sure why she felt like tell him. “I wish you could have met him.”

 

Gage reached out and set a hand on her shoulder, offering a squeeze. “Me too.”

 

X6 looked over his shoulder. “Do you want me to signal an evacuation? It will allow some to escape, should they want to, but also risks alerting any who aren’t already on guard.”

 

“Signal the evac. Anyone who wants to die here can, but anyone who wants out? I’m not going to kill them. Send them to the transport room and Sturges and Tom will get them out.”

 

X6 nodded and turned back to the terminal, fingers flying over the keyboard.

 

No sign of Nate yet, no idea where he was. Every corner they turned, she expected him to be waiting like some monster under her bed. Then again, she knew him. He was probably hiding. Let him hide, he could burn with his prize.

 

Another minute and the alarms started to go off. X6 turned back to her. “Done. Door is open, evacuation is signaled, and I’ve shut down as many of the gen 2s as I can. It should give Preston a relatively easy shot to the generator.”

 

“Good. Let’s see if we can catch up to them and make ourselves useful.”

 

Gage and X6 walked out of the door, where Nora paused for a moment, looking back over the room she’d never see again, her son’s room. She said a silent goodbye to it, to all the times she missed in his life, all the things she’d never known.

 

After a deep breath, Nora turned to follow Gage and X6, but before she could pass the doorway, it slammed shut.

 

Gage’s shout drifted through the door, and the crash she was sure was Gage's shoulder against the steel. Nora touched the panel, pressing the buttons to try to get it to open.

 

A low chuckle she’d recognize anywhere had her turning.

 

“So this is where you've been cowering, Nate.”

 

He smiled. “I finally have you all to myself. No X6, no Shaun, no Gage. No one to bother us, to get in the way. Nothing but you and I here. I’ve been waiting for this.” He took a step forward, and Nora knew what he wanted. He wanted to see her afraid. He wanted to see her cower beneath the threat. He craved that spark of fear. 

 

Fuck him and what he wanted. 

 

Instead, Nora rolled her shoulders and took a step toward him. “I’ve been waiting for it, too.”


	48. Chapter 48

 

 

Nate hesitated a step, almost tripping, like her response was the last thing he’d expected. He rebounded quickly. “I’m a trained military officer. What hope do you have against me?”

 

“My Dad taught me more than you know, and I got a crash course when I had to make my way out here. Let’s not forget I’ve bested you at every turn. Hear that?” Nora pointed down toward the main plaza where the fighting raged. “That’s the sound of my people destroying your Institute. So it seems like I’ve got a lot of hope.”

 

“You found some useful friends, that’s it. One on one? You against me? You’ve always been weak.”

 

“I’ve been afraid. There’s a difference. I let you hurt me because I didn’t know I could stop it. I’ve learned a lot since then. I’m not afraid of you anymore.”

 

“That’s just because you’ve forgotten. You’ve spent too long without me, too long thinking you could do whatever you wanted with that joke of a mate of yours. Allow me to remind you exactly why you should be afraid of me, why you should be very careful.”

 

Nora reached for the pistol at her hip, but Nate leapt forward, knocking it from her grip. It slid across the ground.

 

He laughed and took his own gun, tossing it down with hers. His confidence infuriated her, the way he grinned, so sure he’d win.

 

Nate came forward again, faster than she expected. He wrapped his fingers around the back of her neck and yanked her forward, knocking her off balance. It sent her tumbling to the ground. She rolled once then got her feet back under her.

 

“Come on, Nora. Give in. Even if the Institute is a lost cause, we aren’t.”

 

“We were a lost cause a long time ago.” This time Nora moved forward to drive a fist into his side. She struck, but he anticipated and twisted. The blow glanced off his ribs.

 

He took the advantage and wrapped a hand in her hair. He twisted her body, so he pinned her forward over the desk.

 

Nora kicked a leg out, backward, but he pressed his hips forward to trap her between his body and the desk. Panic took over.

 

He leaned in, using his grip on her hair to keep her still. “I wanted to wait until our bond was back, but hell, I’m tired of waiting. What do you think about me fucking you right here, with your mate outside that door? With that link you have, he’ll feel it, won’t he? He'll know and he won’t be able to do a thing to stop me. Yeah, I think that might be worth it.”

 

A knife touched her side, but he didn’t cut her. He slipped it beneath the waist of her pants and sliced, pulling the fabric away from her.

 

Nora fell headlong into her fear, her panic. Not again. She’d lived through this before, for years, and she’d thought she’d been done. Could she pick herself back up again? Could she put herself together after he broke her again?

 

She kicked again, but couldn’t land anything.

 

Nate used his grip in her hair to lift her head and slam it down, against the desk.

 

It rattled her back away. Through her link, Gage offered comfort, like that first day when she’d collapsed against the ground and screamed and he’d given her his steady mind, given her a way to think through it all. She let that sink into her, to shove the panic away. He gave her a lifeline, a tether to gain control, to think.

 

The blade. Nate, the smug bastard, he'd left the blade on the desk. He reached back between them, and she felt his fingers brush her bare skin. She swallowed once to keep her stomach calm.

 

“Thank you.”

 

He paused. “For what?”

 

“Thanks to you, I can take a hit better than you can.” She reached out and wrapped her fingers around the handle of the knife, then swung it down. She couldn’t hit anything vital at her angle, but the scream from him when she buried it in his thigh was good enough.

 

He fell backward, and Nora turned on him. His fingers clutched the handle of the blade, but he didn’t pull it out. He whimpered instead, holding it still. “You stabbed me.”

 

“That was sort of the point.” Nora grabbed a pair of basic pants from a dresser. She knew they were likely Shaun’s since she was in his room, but she tried to push that away. Hard to think he wouldn’t let her borrow a pair of pants after Nate had ruined her last ones.

 

Nora picked up her pistol and pointed it at him while crouching in front of him. She wrapped her fingers around the knife and twisted it with a tiny jerk of her wrist.

 

He wailed again.

 

“I’m going to remove this, and you’re going to get into that tube.” Nora didn’t wait for an response before pulling the blade and using it to point at the medical tube, blood dripping from the blade.

 

Nate didn’t move fast enough, so Nora pressed her foot against the wound on his leg. He got to his feet and limped to the tube. “What are you planning?”

 

“Get in.”

 

“I’ll kill you for this.”

 

Nora shook the gun at him to make sure he realized she was serious. “You get in there or I shoot you and then put you in it.”

 

Nate gripped the edge of the bed and got into it before Nora snapped the lid shut, latching it.

 

She leaned down, over the glass, to stare at Nate. He raged inside, like a trapped bug. All his rage was nothing more than fog on the glass, just breaths that clouded.

 

“Quiet, Nate.”

 

He stilled inside though his eyes still burned with the promise of violence. “Let me out. I’ll forgive you for this if you just let me out.”

 

“No. You wanted this place; you killed my baby to get it. I want you to be alive to feel it burn down around you. I want you to watch when it all turns to dust. I want you to be trapped in here, helpless, and know for sure that you’re going to die here.”

 

The door opened behind her, X6 and Gage rushing in.

 

“You are always fucking scaring me,” Gage snapped, hesitating when he saw the shreds of her pants on the ground. “He didn’t fucking touch you, did he?”

 

Nora rapped her knuckles against the glass. “He tried, but I won.”

 

X6 stood beside her, staring down at him. “Can I kill him?”

 

“Nope. I want him to lay there and know he’s going to die, and I want him there to feel the heat of the blast before he dies.”

 

Gage kicked the bed once, the first real show of anger from her mate, the first time she really got to feel his frustration with Nate. He’d kept most of it bottled up, probably because he worried about frightening her, but right then it hit her. He hated Nate. He wanted to kill him.

 

But . . . she couldn’t let him. And the fact that he never asked, that he knew this had to be her thing, that she needed it, it meant the world to her.

 

Tom’s voice floated over the speaker. “Deacon had the bomb wired in. I’m going to transport you all out to a safe distance.”

 

Nora leaned forward again. “Fuck you, Nate. I win.”

 

Everything went white.

 

#

 

Gage grabbed Nora and slid his hands into her hair before kissing her. He didn’t go slow, wasn’t careful. They’d won. Finally. She was his and Nate was gone and they’d fucking survived.

 

“Hey, love birds, you want to finish this?” Deacon leaned his hip against the railing on top of the Mass Fusion building, a button beside him. “Figured if anyone deserved to blow the place it was you.”

 

Nora pulled out of Gage’s arm but held his hand as they went over. She took one deep breath, and he could just see what ran through her head. She was destroying what her son had built, the son she’d lost. But Nate had already ruined it, and she couldn’t let it continue.

 

Gage slid an arm around her back in support as Nora reached out and pressed the button.

 

Heat blew past them as the explosion blocked out light for a moment, turning the biggest threat the modern Commonwealth knew into nothing but vapor and debris.

 

And it did the same to the biggest threat Nora and Gage had ever known.

 

#

 

Nora took a drink of her beer while she sat in Gage’s lap in the Dugout Inn. Everyone was celebrating, the whole town nothing but revelry and cheer.

 

They’d won.

 

Finally.

 

Danse sat at the table, not in his power armor. He sighed, unhappy even for his normally stern self.

 

“Is Haylen okay?”

 

He shook his head. “I don’t know. She won’t let anyone into her room, she won’t speak to anyone. Refuses to see me since I got back. I tried to talk to her but she only cried and told me to leave.” He rubbed his eyes with his fingers.

 

Nora reached out and grasped his hand. “Losing a mate hurts. It doesn’t matter how terrible they are, it’s like losing a limb, a physical pain, like a wound. Give her time. And let me know how I can help, please. I’ll talk to her, do whatever I can.”

 

Danse nodded, then pulled his hand back. “Thank you. For this, and also for taking care of him. I imagine she’ll feel better once she heals a little, knowing he’s dead.”

 

Gage wrapped his arms around Nora’s waist, reminding her that she’d gotten better in part thanks to him. He offered Danse a nod. “She’ll be okay. You need anything, you can talk to me, yeah? Won’t be an easy road for her, but it ain’t an easy road for you, either. I been there, so you come see me when you need some breathing space, right?”

 

Danse shifted his gaze, and it wasn’t a secret who’d drawn his attention, and all the aggression a look could hold.

 

“Don’t kill Deacon, either. I’m sort of fond of him,” Nora said.

 

“Then tell him to stay away from Haylen.” Danse didn’t wait for anything else before he stood and left, heading for the room he’d rented for the night.

 

Haylen was with Ellie and Nick for the night, the same place she’d stayed during the Institute fight. She and Ellie had hit it off, though everyone liked Ellie, so it wasn’t a shock.

 

Hours passed and before she knew it, only Nora, Gage, and Deacon remained. Even Vadim, the barkeep, had called it a night, handing the place over to Nora for her continued celebration.

 

Deacon took another drink of his beer, not saying much of anything. He had the same attitude as Danse, neither happy. Oh well, they’d figure it out.

 

The sound of the door had Nora turning, ready to see who came back for seconds on their fun, when she froze, as did Gage and Deacon.

 

Haylen stumbled in, with Nate behind her, hand wrapped in her hair and pistol to her temple.

 


	49. Chapter 49

 

“Let’s all stay right where we are if we want Haylen here to live through the night.” Nate limped as he went forward, Haylen’s head jerking as he moved her by her hair.

 

“Only shit that survives anything, you and roaches,” Gage muttered from his place, still beneath Nora.

 

Nate collapsed into a chair, dragging Haylen to kneel on the floor behind him. He stroked his hand over her head like a dog. She wouldn’t meet anyone’s gaze, gaze stuck to the floor. Guess that told Nora why Haylen had been so upset. It hadn't been that she'd hurt from him dying, it was that she'd known he was still alive. 

 

“Well, if you fools had been using your brains, you’d have remembered I have this.” Nate waved his arm, and the pipboy attached to it. “It still has the courser chip in it. Not that it matters now, with the relay gone, the chip is useless.”

 

“What are you doing here, Nate? You could have run.”

 

Nate slammed his fist down on the table beside Haylen and she flinched from it. “I don’t run, Nora. Not from you. Besides, you had Haylen. How could I run when she’d be able to find me? No, see, I finally realized I’ve been going about this all wrong. You? You’re not worth my time to even train. Too stupid to realize your place. You’re like a dog that’s gone rabid, sometimes you just have to put them down. Haylen here? I thought she was too fragile since she gave in so fast, but now? Now I wonder if she isn’t just the smarter one.” Nate gripped Haylen’s cheek and pulled it against his thigh.

 

When she pulled back after he let go, blood coated her cheek.

 

“Great. Why don’t you patch me up, sweetheart. Seems like when Nora here twisted the knife it did some damage.”

 

“Stitches,” Haylen whispered, voice hoarse.

 

“What? Speak up.”

 

“You need stitches. Twisting the knife opened the wound and it won’t close without stitches, then a stimpack.”

 

Nate nodded at a medkit on the wall. “Get that and get to work then.” He pointed the pistol at Nora this time. “So I figured, why keep trying to train a dog that can’t learn? Why not just keep the pet who listens already? First, though, I couldn’t let you get away with what you’ve done. I can’t wait to kill you, Nora. And you, Gage. And you-“ Nate frowned as he looked at Deacon, who hadn’t moved a single muscle since Nate had walked in.

 

That didn’t bode well for Nate, Nora rarely saw Deacon in a mood like that.

 

Nate shrugged “Well, I have no idea who you are, but that doesn’t really matter. You can chalk your death up to wrong place, wrong time.”

 

Haylen came back over and knelt beside Nate. She still wouldn’t look at anyone, the blood on her cheek like a marking, something Nora knew would never fully wipe off.

 

“Don’t pity her, Nora. She’s finally realized her place. Now she’ll get to live a happy life without struggling and strife and everything you put yourself through. Haylen here? She’s broken. She doesn’t scratch, she doesn’t bite, she doesn’t argue. Why? Because I broke her.”

 

Haylen’s hand shook as she set out the stimpack and the needle.

 

Nate didn’t even watch her, so sure he’d ruined the woman, but Nora knew better.

 

“You the funny thing about that leg wound?”

 

Nate grimaced as Haylen prodded the wound. “What’s funny about it?”

 

“When it heals, that skin is going to be tougher than any of the surrounding skin. It’ll be mangled, and ugly, and thick, but it’s going to be the strongest spot. That’s what scars do, they make us stronger. You can’t break people, you can only wound them, and when they heal, they heal stronger than they were before.”

 

Haylen’s eyes finally lifted to Nora’s, like for the first time she someone had said something in a language she could understand.

 

Nate laughed. “You’re a moron, Nora, always have been.”

 

Haylen’s hands stopped shaking when she wrapped them around a scalpel inside the medkit, the one he’d never checked because he never thought Haylen would do anything, because his arrogance told him she’d never fight him. She lifted the scalpel and drove it down, through the hand that held the gun and into the table.

 

Then everything moved at once.

 

Deacon dove across the space, taking Haylen to the floor and covering her body with his.

 

Nora stood, pulling Kellogg’s gun out. Fuck talking, fuck trying to get some sort of closure. She fired round after round into Nate until nothing remained but blood and the clicking of an empty gun.

 

After a minute, Nora lowered her gun.

 

Over. Nate was gone.

 

“I don’t think he’s coming back from this one,” Gage said behind her. Then he pulled his own rifle and fired another shot into the mess. “Just to be sure.”

 

Nora laughed, the first real laugh, the one that said this was done, that she could move on. It would be a slow road, it wouldn’t happen fast, but finally her life was her own again. They’d have setbacks, times when she couldn’t handle the memories, when the darkness she’d lived through grew too great, but she wasn’t alone for those. She threw her arms around Gage and kissed him. Even in the mess, the blood everywhere, the heartache, he was beside her, and she knew he always would be, but she also knew she didn't need him to be, and that was the best part of it. 

 

Gage returned her kiss, pulling her closer, wrapping his arms around her. 

 

She was finally done running.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End!! Thank you for sticking with me! This is the longest piece I've written so far. :)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Freezing](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11841771) by [Reecey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reecey/pseuds/Reecey)




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